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Good news... GET IN!!!!!! BACK OF THE NET!!!!
#1
Big Grin 
Been wanting to write this message for a while but wasn't sure if i would ever be able to do it

Split up with partner a couple of years ago... last year told the kids we would split up and cut a long story short ex moved out and we agreed shared care (kids would have 2 homes) etc etc alternate weekends and 2 or 3 nights in the week... 7 in 14 system

We told the kids and the school etc etc etc ... and all was good .... 4 days after we told the kids the ex applied to court for sole custody Angry  (we don't live in UK so things are a little different)... i was devastated and shocked but decided to contest it 

Been in court for a year ... loads of hearings, lies, accusations etc etc Dodgy and the cost of solicitors fees almost crippling (but she is very good my solicitor)
My ex wanted sole custody, 60% of my net wages as maintenance, 30,000GBP in back payments for underpayment (in her view) and to control "visitation" rights  Huh
I wanted to put the kids first, share custody, to pay the right amount of maintenance and work as co-parents

Won't go into detail but her court case was shocking... every trick in the book Undecided

Judgement was today... just got out of court.... 

They ruled SHARED CUSTODY, ALTERNATE WEEKS CARE (so i can travel for work on weeks she has the kids!) and I'm PAYING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF MAINTENANCE (AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN)  Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin 

Big thanks to everyone on this site and forums... could not have done it without you Wink

DON"T GIVE UP >>> NO MATTER WHAT>>> YOU CAN DO THIS!
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#2
WELL DONE YOU!! Great story of hope and justice for all of us.
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#3
Nice one LTCDAD....☺
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#4
FANTASTIC NEWS!

Hope for us all - thank you for sharing. Perhaps a pint tonight?

On a side note - 60% of your wages? SERIOUSLY???
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#5
Fantastic news LTC - well done for staying calm and persevering, so pleased for you 

Clare  Smile
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#6
LTC - I have admired the way you have conducted yourself, and I am so pleased you got what you wanted - you deserve it.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#7
WELL DONE!!!!!
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#8
(11-07-2017, 12:00 AM)Petem Wrote: On a side note - 60% of your wages? SERIOUSLY???

Yep ... system over here is the have 'tables' to get a suggestion which the judge can amend based on other factors... BUT... there is a cap and BOTH parents have to put maximum of 30% of wages into the pot and then divided by the % you look after the kids


So if i earn 2 pound and the ex earns 1 pound
60p from me and 30p from her
90p in the pot
We take 45p each for looking after the kids 50:50 so essentially i send her 15p each month

Good thing with this system is that like UK it reduces if dad is involved fully (which is encouraged) and the mums wages are also taken into account! 
Also the cap... its called golden apples law... kids cannot eat infinite food .... they cannot eat golden apples

In my case the ex had calculated incorrectly from day one (her solicitor was not an expert) using an old 1970's calculator (from a pro fathers website who had it on their page to demonstrate how bad the old calculator was (the irony)... if only she scrolled down the page or translated the website Tongue ) and I'd asked the authorities to calculate the maintenance via my solicitor so knew it was right (or close enough) 

As the ex used the threat of removal of custody to try and get more money from me ... when i said i would not pay her estimates ...she went to court and redefined the term "back fired" Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin

The other factor was, my ex went into court to remove custody from me and really didn't speak about the kids...
In the first hearing my ex said "he's a really good dad but i want more money'
In the second case (we had 4 hearings all together as its slow due to translation) she said i was a bad dad and wanted more money and then spoke about DV, neglect of kids, what a twat i am, made up information about me having mental illness (which was easy to disprove) and how she hates me (all lies... apart from she hates me)

She then listed all her needs that were not covered by the child support including her contact lens and mobile phone contract etc etc etc before even mentioning the costs for looking after the kids

She treated court like she did marriage counselling ... a chance to complain and whine

I defended shared custody and told the judge i didn't want any more than 50% custody and access as i respected the mother's right to have a positive quality relationship with the kids as she's a really good mum... however i am a good dad and we both love the kids and they all love us --- this is where the guys and gals on the forums helps.. to focus on what is important not the emotion

Thanks again to all that helped and I'm happy to share experiences with anyone who needs my help
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#9
Delighted to hear that honesty and dignity paid off and that you got the result you deserved.

Am so pleased for you!  Enjoy your time with your boy.

A great incentive to stay positive!
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#10
Just found out she's ignoring the court order and appealing :-(

Give me STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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