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Parents won't accept separation
#1
I separated in Jan 2016 but my parents still in touch with ex. Even invited her on holiday. Now it's kids bd and there is a patry with all their friends on Saturday and a family party on the Sunday (their actual bd) my parents have been invited to the Sunday party....as yet I have not. I get they don't want to lose touch but right now it feels they are seeing more of my kids than I am....is this normal???
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#2
I guess it's good for the kids to see there grandparents.....but don't know if it's normal.
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#3
If there's one thing I've learned from my experiences over the last few months is that there is no 'normal' anymore. Get used to the 'new normal' where pretty much everything is different to what you were used to before.

I totally get how you feel and why you do, but it's a good thing that your parents are still in touch with your kids and, odd as it can feel, it could work to your advantage that they still have a positive relationship with your ex.

Whether it's right or not depends on the 'new normal' for celebrating birthdays and other big events. If you've not discussed this kind of stuff with your ex, you need to, and soon. Could you ask her about it? Or suggest doing something together and see what that brings about? What's not right is that you don't know where you stand. If you're not invited, it's reasonable that you get time to celebrate too. Presumably you have some access arrangements in place?
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#4
Well ... you split up with your ex... they didn't and while you think they shoudl take your side... they don't have to and to them your ex is the mother of their grand kids and well, they may like her

I think you leave it as it is ... no harm and actually good for you to have a friendly go-between... you might start with where is my invite to the party?

A true co-parent would facilitate the other parent to be in attendance.... wait a minute .... so ask yourself would you invite the ex if it was reversed?
If not ... think who suffers and if you would then ask for an invite... no reason not to be there
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#5
Thanks for the responses guys. It’s all good advice. Sometimes you need that outside perspective. The news is that my mum dad and sister are all having Christmas with ex and her parents. Is this the new normal?
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#6
I'm not sure if I'm getting confused here -

So if your family are having Christmas with your ex, who are you having Christmas with?
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#7
I’m having the kids at 5pm so I was taking them round to my parents. I’m at my girlfriends sisters for Christmas dinner so I checked with my sister that she was having my mum n dad so they weren’t alone. But as it turns out they are all having it together. I just don’t think it’s right.

It feels like my life has turned into Eastenders
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#8
(11-25-2017, 12:59 PM)Redus78 Wrote: I’m having the kids at 5pm so I was taking them round to my parents.  I’m at my girlfriends sisters for Christmas dinner so I checked with my sister that she was having my mum n dad so they weren’t alone. But as it turns out they are all having it together.  I just don’t think it’s right.

It feels like my life has turned into Eastenders

PFft..that all...try mine out...Jeremy Vile could make a bloody series out of mine
Advice & opinions on this forum are offered informally, without any assumption of liability. Use your own judgment. Seek advice of a qualified and insured professional.
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#9
Wow. You've got a rough deal. Though it's good that you've got the opportunity to spend the time with your girlfriend.

And as regular followers of Drew's history will agree, he's not kidding. He's properly been through the mill.
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#10
Yeah, that sounds like an odd arrangement, but it sounds like you'd already made plans too. Have you spoken to your folks to let them know how you feel or find out what they're thinking? Like I said before, be prepared to suspend all ideas of what's normal for a while!
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