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CAFCASS - "Devastated" - Truth is over-rated
#1
Hi All.

It has been a while since I have been on, and while I know many people have possibly experienced worse, today is my day for stating that 'my world has ended, and NO ONE (except other Dads) care'.

"The first casualty of War is truth, 

"Lies are half way round the world, before truth has even got its boots on...." or something like that. Not much of a reader these days, so can't recall the who wrote/said.......I endlessly read and re-create my own Novels these days, all 'Non-Fiction' of course, but which are all on the same sorry subject, which is "Me". I am not interesting. I am not (overly) special. Dad's that are devoted to their kids, are quite the norm these days you know (i tell them  Angry 
'They' however, don't seem to want to know. 'They' would rather believe the 'uncorroborated battered Mumr -', because if they don't, and 'HE' kills her, as, (metaphorically I should stress) I should, then 'THEY' will lose their jobs - a much worse outcome than MUM being dead in this metaphorical scenario remember.

And so to the kids. 'They' (not the kids) are desperate to have them regurgitate what 'Mum' has told them, and so 'They' (not the kids) do, and They' record that in their flimsy notes, but remember to say to Mum, "Do you want to go to a grotty Domestic Violence shelter", and 'They' are relieved when naturally, MUM says 'No, I'll just stay in this nice luxurious New partners House, which I'm used to anyway, as I've been coming here for ages while cheating on 'Him', if thats ok'. "Sure", 'They' say, relieved that they don't need to over-run their shift, as is MUM, who thinks 'They' are stupid. Even if 'They' are not, the proximity of their shift ending, means they'll go with that 'excuse 'and ignore the new and conveniently palatial new surroundings for the kids.  In their new strange 'Home' (of sorts), these require no Telephone calls, getting bounced from Hostel to Hostel, or mandatory forms being completed. All is good with the world. 'They' even notice as 'They' leave near their shift-end, the nearby security CCTV  so that's a bonus, should 'He' ever attempt to Kill MUM. It'll be difficult for 'Him' but even if 'He' does, I can point to the CCTV, and her 'signed refusal' to go to somewhere safe, if the worst happens. Anyway,  the serious case review will simply point to something obscure, and we will all say 'We' have learned lessons from this, and must apologise to Mums Family, our thoughts and prayers are with them at this time................

Let me be clear. Even metaphorically, I wouldn't kill her. She is my childrens Mum. In any event, and as bitter as it sounds, and for what she MUST HAVE put my kids through in the last 18 months, I want her MS to kill her, not me. MS will not be arrested, and thrown in Jail for 15 years, nor will the kids focus to heavily on that, and certainly not as they would have the trauma of having to blame "ME".

THEY are the POLICE, Children's Services, CAFCASS, it doesn't matter which. "Me", well as I said, I'm not that interesting, but neither am I a wife-beater, junkie, useless, domestically violent or domestically abusing Father.
That is however how I have been treated since the moment I called the Police to report my former partners 21 year old Son assault me outside of MUMs home 18 months ago. I realised as the Police were en route, that it would be 2 against 1, however i trusted they would not have time to formulate a story which would stand up to my TRUTH of what happened in the lead up. As I pondered this, waiting on the POLICE, I noticed my 2 own yunger children at the top bedroom window. My heart sank. I was enraged, and I let her have my thoughts from a safe distance. 
Cut a long story short. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. That's what she immediately claimed (I was later told). The neighbours would vouch for her version I was told (later found out at Court ONLY) that the Police never even bothered speaking to the Neighbours. "What about the DRUGS" the POLICE asked me whilst recording. "What DRUGS" i asked naively. "The ones she had to hide round the house, and you were banned from collecting for her, from the local Chemist". "That is completely untrue" i said. "Ask them" - "We will when they open in the morning" said the Cop. I found out at court of course, that they never bothered. 5 months to trial, and social services would NOT support any application I planned to make to see my young children, until the court established whether i started this fight with MUMs adult Son. So, pointless making that application I was told and so focused my energy, sadness and thousands, defending myself. Cleared of course, didn't even have to give evidence, so bad was theirs, and don't forget,  this was without the fact that the POLICE, so under-resourced they tell us as they hea doff to McD's for a burger, hadn't even bothered to speak to the Neighbours (who were 'open' that night), nor the Chemist (who would have been 'Open') by the time they had gotten their McDs breakfasts in. In fact, the 'Restraining Order' that the CPS belatedly offered me in exchange for dropping the charges, and which I refused, was applied for anyway as a parting shot by the CPS at the end of my farcical 'trial' and REFUSED by the Magistrates. 
Happy Days all round.

ONE WEEK after my farcical trial - She ran off, and got the dreaded and Zimbabwe court thing caled a 'Non-Mol'. All in secret remember. But MUM was safe, that was the important thing. I later ended up on trial again because when, having run out of funds some £10,000 in, I decided to represent myself, I was pouring over texts MUM had sent me, in prep for my REALLY expensive Barrister. Oops. Unbeknown to me, stupid Apple had introduced a hold down and send Imoji system to texts. So despite the obvious 'Why on earth would I jeopardise my childrens future by sending an imoji to someone with whom I have a 'Non-Mol' and weeks before my LONG awaited child hearing. Thrown in Jail 23 hrs. Charged. Back to the Zimbabwe court, which funnily enough, could accommodate a trial of me for this, but had no Judges available to hear my appeal against the awarding of the Non-Mol in my absence (should explain that 'technically, I had 2.5 days after being 'served', to understand the non-mol paperwork and get a solicitor, and prepare a defence - all ONE week before Christmas. I couldn't get a solicitor for love and strangely, nor money).
I think the Magistrates needed a quick explanation as to what an Imoji was, but o be fair to them, once they looked at their own phones, the penny started to drop, and they understood quite how easily done it is, and questioned why I would even bother. Er, thats what I said. The POLICE, well 'THEY' just play it safe with 'domestic violence' and 'Non-Mol' (all affects their stats you know, so why not ? - ps. Thats what I would do if I were them, because it would possibly affect my stats if I didn't, so 'why not ?')

CAFCASS finally - I shall keep it brief, because quite frankly, I am in shock. Sent 'Them' audios ahead of the meeting, of phone calls I had received, which I felt would offer some kind of compelling insight into MUM, and also into the ALIENATION of my Son , the second call. ' 'They' did not listen to them, and barely apologised for turning up to THEIR own offices 15 mins late, when I had driven for an hour, and waited 30 mins in the car park, before going in on time. So, straight to business 'THEY' said. GUILTY !! Thats all I heard, even suggesting that MUMS former husband, the subject of the pain, and with whom my kids are now living, might have stepped in, she kindly suggested. I was in abject shock. I didn't even want to sit there as she busily typed away on her laptop. Even that - I don;t know a business (and that's what they are, and the solicitors and the Barristers etc) that thinks it is anything but rude, and counter-productive, to sit one fingered, barely ever looking up to see who is answering your loaded questions, typing away. Probably ordering onlne at McD's I'm thinking............

Anyway, it was horrendous, and despite me having waited 18 long months, been cleared of 'unrelated' and 'criminal matters' meantime (DV related, so would have gone against me, but could NEVER go for me, since the "burden of proof is much lower", 'THEY' explained in their condescending manner), I was subjected to a 'Lets begin at GUILTY and see if you have any means of escaping that on appeal-type questions'. And so I got back in my car. Utterly in shock, but surer than ever, and possibly for the first time realised, that not only did 'THEY' ALL think I had done it, 'THEY' were sure that MUM + Former Partner, + Kids, were better placed in their palatial pad, and HE is unlikely to want to KILL her, and so write it up, and off to McD's to catch the Breakfast menu !!. Me. I haven;t eaten 36 hrs later, but like the idea of McD's, so my misplaced optimism, must be slowly returning.

Mark Twain..........I think it might have been him who said it........Try have a good night all.
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#2
Wow hope you enjoyed your McD's sounds like you deserve it...sounds like you have had a tough time of it...if one thing I see in most of these posts is that the dads get shafted all the time....it just fckn sucks....
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