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Parental Alienation - movement at last!
(11-17-2017, 07:26 PM)Hazy Wrote:

Hi Hazy.

Genuinely pleased to see this link, and read its content,  and I was quite emotional reading it, because I think things will change, but sadly not at the rate we would like, because society is so busy ensuring that women have (over)equality first, 
so  there is little statutory time left for anything 'Man' related (or should I say, children related ?).

Fantastic news reading that though.....provided of course, you haven't split up just yet, and can hang on in there until all CAFCASS Officers have been trained in 2018, have a tragic case review in 2019 and knuckles rapped, and finally begin to deal with vindictive Mothers, and implement this circa 2020/2021.

Sadly my own interrogation (sorry, 'interview') with CAFCASS, was last week,. When I mentioned 'parent alienation', she genuinely didn't even seem to understand the meaning of those  two words when put together. She was however, keen to move on, and able to describe her own  assessment of my former home life with the kids as "chaos". I was lost for words, and trying desperately to remember how I shouldn't slag off my ex, I strangely found myself struggling, and simply repeated her statement "Chaos...?" i asked,. Well, that seems HUGELY exaggerated, but i then found myself trying hard to find a way of agreeing with her (even though I didn't), but trying to offer some perspective as to why she might conceivably have felt that. Did she really think that or was it a Test, I wasn't sure. I couldn't read her at all. We certaunly had no rapport. The Best then I could come up, with was that "surely every case (on her enormous pile of cases), must be "chaos" (by her definition of course). 
Otherwise, why are we even here ??

18 months now, I have been prevented from seeing my children. Under the 'care' of the entirely unnecessary childrens' services, my Son went from really wanting to see me (despite the undoubted pressure at his new Home, to NOT I'm sure), to ME finally having to suggest that we no longer have our infrequent phone calls together. It seemed (and it was) that Every time he called now, his Mother was in the background monitoring/orchestrating his performance. Hewas simply (re)uttering adult phrases and aware of everything that was going on which he shouldn't even know, was now making his own pointed adult accusations of me. So I naively believed that it would be sorted by April, or May latest, (it was MARCH) and it was best to protect  HIM until then. I had (impatiently)  been 'waiting' in the creaking queue for a Judge since January. It is worth noting that in the lead up to a 'common assault' charge made against me June16, where she and her elder adult son (who had assaulted me) conspired to have ME rather than HIM arrested for it, and after I had called the Police. It wasn't the first time he had done so. but with scant Police Investigation into the incident, It worked. 
In fact, it worked a treat, because then it REALLY WAS now, 'Domestic abuse'. I KNOW she was delighted, and this then allowed her to later skip child mediation, get 'protective screens' at hearings (farcical, and making me guilty before we're even tried) & get free Solicitors and Barristers. Childrens services then tell me (maliciously or otherwise ?) but in ERROR, that I was to be LEGALLY prevented by them, from applying to a court to even see them, until the assault case was heard, hence the delay in me applying, Following my later acquittal (naturally !!), I finally did so, in Jan 2017. I was fuming when I found out the social worker had misled me, and unsurprised when she was later relieved of her post (or so I was told)

A number of 'clever' motions by her legal Team later (being paid for by ME, as a higher rate tax-payer, and not her, as an incapacity claimant, and now Domestic Violence 'Victim', who MUST be believed)  their stalling tactics  in front of 'largely incompetent' Lay Magistrates, meant I only got my wish to have a legally qualified Judge hear my case finally in September. She instructed CAFCASS meantime. Emotionally spent, I finally face my 'Restricted to a maximum of 6 later made up DV charges'  on  Jan 4th. 2018.  This will be 20 months since our split -. Oh, and a mere £35,000 later too, money which I would definitely have put aside for the kids, but now can't. I was (very) fortunate enough to earn money this year at a rate required to just about pay my over-priced and almost indifferent Barristers, who cannot even pronounce my daughters name properly as yet, for goodness sake

Seriously, I have NOW become the person that I am accused of being. An angry man, suspicious of everyone and their motives. My CAFCASS officer (God love 'er) is not even British. Does that matter ? Jan 4th will tell, but I suspect so, because I believe that when you join a 'company' (which is basically what CAFCASS are) you join a culture, and since (from what I hear from good sources) there are more in there that are bad than good (understaffed, underpaid they may be, but I don't care, nor should I), then I believe my chances are slim. In any event, the damage has already been done has it not ?
I was eventually 'released' from my CAFCASS interview after 2 hours. Is that it I asked ? "You haven't even allowed me to lead the meeting at any point !" i say. "What about my own evidence ?". "What about, more importantly, my notes about my hopes and aspirations for the children going forward, and how best to deal with their undoubted issues when I finally get to see them ?" "Just leave them with us, that's great Mr O, I'll look at those later" she says. And so I was ushered without handshake, to the exit. In the Car, I felt like crying, but couldn't. I was (I'm sure, technically) in shock.

It is the 'Hope' meantime, that is the  killer  isn't it ?  The 'system' makes every day feel like the  length of day, Christmas Eve was when you were their age. The most sinister of feelings in your gut,, tells you that you'll find Santa is a fraud. Everyone knows it, but no one is talking about it out loud, and so we wait until Christmas day, when they no doubt, finally have to admit it.  I dread the future beyond even more though. Is every day that follows a near predictable court outcome, to then feel like the hum-drum that Boxing day felt when you were 8 ?. No one will visit me at home though
After 20 months, they are sick of it too. They have 'heard it all before' and don't want to even have to 'deal' with me, nor me them, truth be told. This is people who genuinely care & worry about me I'm talking about. It pains them to watch, so they don't, and who can blame them.  

So Men, hang on until 2020, when  you MIGHT stand a chance of having the odds reversed, and find by then, there are more in CAFCASS that are knowledgeable/good, than Bad. Hazy, thanks for the heads up, and slowly but surely eh !

regards all

Might be a bit outdated and already on here, but did you ever listen to the short BBC Radio Womans Hour on the subject also ?

Interesting, and as I await my CAFCASS report tomorrow now, I just pray, not too late for me.

Sadly all is not what it seems ( not really surprising.)

The Voice of the Child website is very good (nothing to do with me at all) they’ve been doing exposes on Cafcass and the CMS. Interesting stuff.

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