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contact issues
Hi all,

new to this so please bear with!

been separated from my ex since march 16, now with a new partner of 9 months. am having issues where i am now not seeing my 3 children on Friday nights anymore for tea [2 1/2hrs max], i have them every other weekend too. ex has told me rather than discuss that i am not having them due to my middle boy going to kung fu class. i am not able to speak with my children during the week either as she has blocked my mobile from hers and her landline. she is also stating i cannot let my new partner meet up with my children, as you can imagine this is causing somewhat of a strain to all.

any advice please?

thanks in advance
Sorry to hear this buddy, hope you can get it sorted.
If youve tried everything with ex and suggested alternatives then its really only mediation next. If she has reduced the usual time then they are expected to make the time up. If you cant find a way through then suggest mediation, but youve got to try everything you can first.
To my knowledge I dont believe PR allows a parent to dictate who the children see while in your care as long as there are no welfare concerns. But I guess you have to see it from her point of view, its not nice when new partners are on the scene, from anyones perspective. So unless its a genuine problem, Id just drop that one for now and respect her wishes. Maybe promise hex you wont involve your new partner in kid's lives if ex will talk about another more suitable time to have children.

Side note: If youve got a partner who will stick around through this kind of thing, keep her happy. Thats a keeper right there.
Fairly typical that they reduce and try and prevent contact when you get a new partner. The idea of a stepmother and all that. I agree with suggesting you won't introduce your partner straight away. But if she is set on preventing it full stop it makes life difficult. I had this for about a year and eventually got legal advice and just let my partner be involved. She stopped contact. Then said it could only be for me if partner didn't see son. I did that for two weeks while starting mediation and went for a MIAM then told her I would go to court. All quiet for 2 weeks then she accepted it. The only reason she accepted it was she had a new man who didn't want the hassle and expense of court and talked sense into her. All was fine for 3 years, and then I had to go to court because she stopped contact. She had another child and wanted to change things. Her H is now under the thumb and in the same position of me if he doesn't roll over. Court order was badly worded and am waiting to go back to court again.

Would suggest if she doesn't agree to usual level of contact if you agree not to introduce partner for say, 3 to 6 months (depends how long you've been together) then go to mediation, get her invited, and if it doesn't go anywhere, apply for a defined Child Arrangements order. The court will tell her your partner has to be allowed to be there - but maybe a gradual introduction.

If you can sort it out first that is better, because then if you ever did need to go to court, you'd have an established family life with partner and kids and that's a stronger position.

Suggest you email her (have something in writing) and say that as there is Karate on Friday nights now you would like to see kids midweek on Wednesdays (courts usually like Wednesday as a midweek night apparently). Say that you agree not to introduce your partner to the kids until the New Year and then only gradually, to be discussed. Does the Friday night thing mean your week-end is shortened too? Or can you collect them after Karate on a Friday night?
Your situation seems phenomenally like mine - situation, dates, number of kids, everything.


The first port of call is to try and reach an agreement through mediation, but if that doesn't work get your Solicitor to submit a C100 form to the courts. This should start the process of involving CAFCASS and opening the way to establishing contact with your kids.

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