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Mediation and C100 - a trick?
Evening chaps,

I'm in the process of lodging a C100 in order to re-establish contact with our kids. My Solicitor arranged for me to see a new Mediator, as I need the form signing off by one and the issues weren't raised in any of our previous sessions.

Anyway, he's signed me off and we're going to submit the form to the courts. He was in two minds, but it turns out there's a clause in there somewhere that we can defer during the process if we want to try mediation. I agreed to consider this, and he agreed to sign me off so I can process the C100 as quickly as possible. The Mediator told me that it's not a well known clause, and that not many Solicitors are aware of it.

Moral of the story? I'm now moving forward with getting my kids back rather having to get dragged back to Mediation..

And that's worth it's weight in gold.
That's excellent. I did something similar. I just went to mediation and asked to be signed off to apply to court. Didn't want to do it - she keeps accusing abuse. At first hearing it was ordered we should go to mediation and a hearing date is set for next hearing with mediation in between. I doubt it will work, but at least, as you say, it doesn't slow the hearing process.
I just agreed that I'll consider it as an option. But as I discussed my situation, he actually said that he doesn't think that mediation would be of benefit. This was really just a paper exercise, but seven days after my Solicitor put in the referral I've now got everything I need to put the court application in.

It's a bloody good job too. I got a letter today - my ex is taking me to court over the money for the house. We haven't sorted out anything to do with the kids yet, but let's argue about pounds and pence first eh?

Speaks volumes. Awful woman.
Hi Petem,

I had to read that a couple of times to get the gist - but do I understand correctly, in that you can essentially 'fast track' the court application without needing to go through mediation first, on the proviso that you would consider deferring the court process to go to mediation?

Only reason I ask is because we start mediation a week today and I am pooping myself a little bit because I know it will disrupt the relative calm that's taken over the household recently. Neither of us can afford to go to court and I don't want to, but I get the feeling she'd relish it a little bit.

(11-24-2017, 09:17 PM)Petem Wrote: We haven't sorted out anything to do with the kids yet, but let's argue about pounds and pence first eh?

I feel your pain here too, dude - mine's been exactly the same, wanting to discuss the sale of the house, who has the bed/sofa/TV or who's going to pay her Mum back for the £11k she helped with our deposit etc. Not one mention of our daughter's well-being or care plan though!

Keeps saying "you'll do alright out of this", because I'm completely debt-free and able to put my 50% of the equity into my own place - HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO "DO ALRIGHT" OUT OF NOT WAKING UP WITH MY DAUGHTER EVERY DAY AND NOT BE ABLE TO TUCK HER IN TO BED EVERY NIGHT YOU PSYCHO HOSE BEAST!!!!

(sorry - I am currently entering my 'angry' post-separation phase) Wink
I certainly got a post-separation angry phase. Sometimes I'm not sure I'm even out of it...

I wouldn't worry too much about mediation sessions, as when it boils down to it you don't have to agree. Plus it's not legally binding. Didn't stop me bricking it for mine, but that's hindsight for you.

The mediator I saw on Friday was quite a practical guy, and after I told him my tale of woe he decided that mediation probably wouldn't work for our situation. His failsafe though was to point out that if we wanted to go back to it, we could.

I'd at least give sessions a stab. Because then if it does end up turning nasty, then at least you can hold your hands up and say that you actively tried to make the process work.

A big thing for us Dads seems to be that we have to be seen as whiter than white, as our exes will fling as much mud as they can.

Make sure it can't stick.
Yes you can just ask to get signed off. My mediator didn't really want to and kept trying to persuade me to try it but I needed an application in urgently. I knew it wouldn't work and didn't feel it was appropriate after all the false allegations I've had. I did say to her I was willing to try but only once I'd got an application under way. I think they either have to or can sign you off if you ask for that at the MIAM - but maybe not as quickly and easily as Petem's sounds to have done. In my case mediation has now been ordered by the courts after first hearing.

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