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Clever ex being evil
#1
Ok so there is the guerilla warfare going on while waiting for my hearing.  As well as alienation of son (getting quite heavy) there is some stuff going on that is quite clever but is slowly removing any normal family life son has with me.   Any suggestions welcome.  Son has been alienated to say he no longer wants to do a sport class when here that he asked me for.  He'd stopped enjoying it because his Mum made him feel bad for enjoying it.  His musical instrument has gone missing and she has basically stopped him having lessons in school.  He really wanted them but daren't object.  She is basically trying to remove any habits or life he had with me.  He now just "comes here" - no regular activities left, no school stuff with him.  He has been turned against my partner quite heavily recently and is now rude to her and ignores her (having known her for 7 years and loving her) and I think he's being used to try and cause problems with us.  Which isn't working but spoiling our time with him.

So am feeling pretty despondent.  I'm still getting regular contact under an interim order and waiting for full hearing, which isn't for about 3 months, but makes me think, even with a defined order, she will just wreck all our relationships with nasty tactics and alienation.

Is there a way to have lots of defined things like he is allowed to have music in school or whatever?
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#2
A wise man once told me - keep your chin up.

You're doing the right thing by sticking with it, though this situation must be incredibly hard for you both. For me, you've just got to keep at it and be whiter than white. You know full well that if you're not, it'll eventually get back to your ex.

So stay strong - your son will thank you eventually.
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#3
Thanks PeteM. Should have a busy couple of week-ends with activities and places to go coming up so that might help.
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#4
(11-24-2017, 09:01 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Ok so there is the guerilla warfare going on while waiting for my hearing.  As well as alienation of son (getting quite heavy) there is some stuff going on that is quite clever but is slowly removing any normal family life son has with me.   Any suggestions welcome.  Son has been alienated to say he no longer wants to do a sport class when here that he asked me for.  He'd stopped enjoying it because his Mum made him feel bad for enjoying it.  His musical instrument has gone missing and she has basically stopped him having lessons in school.  He really wanted them but daren't object.  She is basically trying to remove any habits or life he had with me.  He now just "comes here" - no regular activities left, no school stuff with him.  He has been turned against my partner quite heavily recently and is now rude to her and ignores her (having known her for 7 years and loving her) and I think he's being used to try and cause problems with us.  Which isn't working but spoiling our time with him.

So am feeling pretty despondent.  I'm still getting regular contact under an interim order and waiting for full hearing, which isn't for about 3 months, but makes me think, even with a defined order, she will just wreck all our relationships with nasty tactics and alienation.

Is there a way to have lots of defined things like he is allowed to have music in school or whatever?

Keep on going man . if you keep talking to him he will get through it . your doing the right thing . I know its super hard choosing what to say and what not to as you seem like the decent type of dad that trie there level best not to stress the lil man out . But i feel you will definitely find a way . My kids have made strange decisions that have shocked me in the past . they didnt want to come and see me on occasions when there mum got letters for her to come to court etc . but just as you said the only did it out of fear of there mothers response . they always got past it though so bare with it and im sure things will get easier .

your not alone brother . Stay strong
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#5
I just can't understand how people can hate someone more than they love their own kids. It will never cease to baffle me.

Keep your chin up mate, just try and make the time you have with him as fun as possible.

Two fingers up at your ex and give him some awesome memories to go back to her with.

Don't get involved with the mudslinging and childishness...your son will learn to appreciate it.

Is your ex with someone now? Could be a case of "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone"?
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#6
Thanks all. No she's been married for years but now wants me out of the picture. Got a strong Solicotor's letter sent and things were more normal when son came yesterday.
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