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Ex Abroad- Not willing to form any agreement
#1
Hi,
My ex works abroad (Dubai) and I work in UK. She has my daughter (7 year). We have been separated for last 3 years. My ex has never stopped me seeing my daughter when I have requested. It does costs me flying to Dubai plus hotel to see her which is totally born by myself. Using Child maintenance calculator I calculated my payment and started paying her I her UK account.I pay Child Maintenance at 350 per month from my account to hers (not through CSA). No financial agreement has been reached.

My divorces was filed in 2016 based on 2 years separation (behaviour).Decree Nisi is issued.
I have asked numerous times in the last 12 months for my ex to form an agreement ( as that way I can forward plan my life and time with my daughter) on Child Contact and Financials but she keeps on dragging the issue. As she is living abroad and UK law doesn't applies my only choice to chase up on Child Contact arrangement is via local courts of Dubai (Sharia Law). However, for financial I am thinking of going to UK court as she has a property in UK and pension atleast that way she will respond? I have no interest in her assets or properties I just don't want to be left in limbo thinking one day she'd come and axe my life time savings?

My solicitor suggested to go via court in UK to charge proceedings against her , that way she'd responds to the court and we will come to some financial settlement. Has anyone been through this situation of financial when other partner keeps ignoring to form any agreement amicably?

Thank you
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#2
I'm no expert on this, but I think you should maybe look at the child maintenance separate from the divorce finances. Did you have a clean break financially when the divorce went through? That's the important bit. The child maintenance can be a private agreement. Assume you mean divorce finances aren't sorted yet.

I would try and keep on good terms with her so you can keep seeing your daughter. Which makes me think getting a formal arrangement over child access is the first thing to do and then look at dealing with the finances and try and get agreements sorted via lawyers? The more conflict there is the more difficult she may be over child access.
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#3
(11-26-2017, 12:23 AM)Charlie7000 Wrote: I'm no expert on this, but I think you should maybe look at the child maintenance separate from the divorce finances.  Did you have a clean break financially when the divorce went through?  That's the important bit.  The child maintenance can be a private agreement.  Assume you mean divorce finances aren't sorted yet.

I would try and keep on good terms with her so you can keep seeing your daughter.  Which makes me think getting a formal arrangement over child access is the first thing to do and then look at dealing with the finances and try and get agreements sorted via lawyers?  The more conflict there is the more difficult she may be over child access.

Hi,

There are two issues that I am facing.

1- My ex- hasn't formed Clean Break Consent with me eventhough I have been trying to push it and she sneakly emailed the court for Decree Absolute keeping good terms with me on the face of what was going on and the court has issued her Decree Absolute on email with no decision on finances, even though at the time of filing the divorce we checked that the petition has the tick box to request for financial order. My lawyer has suggested that she can challenge this back with the court however she has advised that it would be better to file proceedings for financial settlement as it would push her to come on the table and form agreement.

2- When it came to child maintenance she requested ridicioulous payment of 800 per month based on cost of raising child in Dubai. Obviously my earning are UK based and I can only afford based on what I earn. So she din't agree to anything on child maintenance formally but informally we are still in process to finalize this..... However, in the meantime to avoid any built up of back dated payments to keep things professional I used Child Maintenance Calculator to calculate how much should I be paying and started making payment 300 per month payment from my account into her account with a reference 'ChildMaintenance Payment (Month/ Year). I have been doing these payments for the last 1 year now, but at theback of my head (because she keeps changing the goal post) I have this worry that can she deny these payments and say she never recieved anything?....if she ever applies to CSA will CSA not consider these payments...because I have nothing in writing from her in acceptance other than bank transaction into her account with a reference 'Child Maintenance Payment' (Month/Year). Should I approach CSA and get this formalized?

Can someone shed some light on point 2.


Thanks
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#4
If she (or you) applies to the CMS (CSA is now the CMS) the payments will only be due from the date of application so there will be no arrears.

For the CMS to be used they would have to have an agreement with the country she lives in I think.

CMS is better than the old CSA rules where arrears did build up under them prior to formalising arrangements.

Either way it is good that you have references your payments ‘child maintenance’ if you ever make any extra payments label them as well, for example money for uniforms or shoes. You never know it may come in handy sometime.
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#5
(01-01-2018, 11:29 PM)Hazy Wrote: If she (or you) applies to the CMS (CSA is now the CMS) the payments will only be due from the date of application so there will be no arrears.

For the CMS to be used they would have to have an agreement with the country she lives in I think.

CMS is better than the old CSA rules where arrears did build up under them prior to formalising arrangements.

Either way it is good that you have references your payments ‘child maintenance’  if you ever make any extra payments label them as well, for example money for uniforms or shoes.  You never know it may come in handy sometime.

Hi,

Thank you for your input.

I do buy clothes, uniform and excursions holidays (and keep reciepts) on top of monthly maintenance payment as she's my only child and just like any other parent I would always want to do the best for her.
But at the same time I feel my ex is now trying to take advantage of my 'CAN DO ATTITUDE' and I am thinking may be I should formalize things with her as I have no faith in her words. She has been telling me that an agreement will come through and its been 14 months....

I am filing proceedings tomorrow to get either a financial order or get her to formalize agreement . I will be sharing what happens when she comes on a broomstick back from Dubai to haunt me in UK.

Once I get financial settlement, my next step will be to sort child contact arrangements as she is now ignoring my requests to see my daughter in Dubai.
2018 will be used up just like 2017 got used up in sorting and arguing child matters with her. I blame myself. Shouldve gone to court from day 1.
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