Hi,this is my first post so please bear with me
I'm seperated from my wife, not yet divorced. Seperated 18 months ago, she lives with new partner as do I
We have 2 children aged 5 and 4.
Contact has been every other Friday after school until Tuesday morning dropping at school
Holidays have been as and when really with nothing defined
I'm on the mailing list at school but she has been making efforts to try and not involve me with the school in any way. The teachers are really good with me and I think they understand what is going on and always give me leaflets and reports that aren't normally sent out in post
I've asked for an extra day to take them out for tea in the week I don't have them and also for half the holidays
After asking this its kicked off massively
She's said that I won't get anymore than I do at the moment and has given me 14 days out of the whole year of school holidays
Biggest problem is her saying that she has a case ready with photographs and witness statements detailing abuse and she will present this ‘evidence’ to court if I decide to go down that route and also stating that social services have been involved, she's said mediation won't touch her because of this
I have no idea what photographs or statements are, no history of DV whatsoever and no abuse from me
Police were called in june 2016 because we had an argument over her sleeping with another guy, verbal argument only
She's was drunk and had been out with the kids all day, police came and removed her from the address and left me in the care of our 2 children
That's the only interaction I've had with police and had nothing at all from social services
Since that incident I had 50/50 care of the children up until around March this year, which is when it changed to the current arrangements
My worry is that if I go to court she will make false allegations and have friends backing her up with statements, and that I will then end up with less than I have now
It's kind of blackmail really, she's been happy in past for me and my partner tohave the kids but If I want more and go to court she will report me for DV
She also wanted a double barrelled name with her surname, which I'm now very dubious of doing
Also, her fella, who is good with the kids and I have no problems with, is being pushed by her as their father figure, she's allowed our son to call him dad, which I've fortunately nipped in the bud and also at school the ex wife listed me as the last emergency contact out of 5 people and her fella as second point of contact in emergency, I changed this too with school so I'm now second
Just to note my partner has a great relationship with the kids and last year my ex wife often asked me to get her to watch the kids, that was before the current arrangements
Any advice on what would be best to do here would be appreciated
I'm kind of worried that she's calling all the shots here and I have nothing concrete apart from her "goodwill" at training moment
Thanks
I'm seperated from my wife, not yet divorced. Seperated 18 months ago, she lives with new partner as do I
We have 2 children aged 5 and 4.
Contact has been every other Friday after school until Tuesday morning dropping at school
Holidays have been as and when really with nothing defined
I'm on the mailing list at school but she has been making efforts to try and not involve me with the school in any way. The teachers are really good with me and I think they understand what is going on and always give me leaflets and reports that aren't normally sent out in post
I've asked for an extra day to take them out for tea in the week I don't have them and also for half the holidays
After asking this its kicked off massively
She's said that I won't get anymore than I do at the moment and has given me 14 days out of the whole year of school holidays
Biggest problem is her saying that she has a case ready with photographs and witness statements detailing abuse and she will present this ‘evidence’ to court if I decide to go down that route and also stating that social services have been involved, she's said mediation won't touch her because of this
I have no idea what photographs or statements are, no history of DV whatsoever and no abuse from me
Police were called in june 2016 because we had an argument over her sleeping with another guy, verbal argument only
She's was drunk and had been out with the kids all day, police came and removed her from the address and left me in the care of our 2 children
That's the only interaction I've had with police and had nothing at all from social services
Since that incident I had 50/50 care of the children up until around March this year, which is when it changed to the current arrangements
My worry is that if I go to court she will make false allegations and have friends backing her up with statements, and that I will then end up with less than I have now
It's kind of blackmail really, she's been happy in past for me and my partner tohave the kids but If I want more and go to court she will report me for DV
She also wanted a double barrelled name with her surname, which I'm now very dubious of doing
Also, her fella, who is good with the kids and I have no problems with, is being pushed by her as their father figure, she's allowed our son to call him dad, which I've fortunately nipped in the bud and also at school the ex wife listed me as the last emergency contact out of 5 people and her fella as second point of contact in emergency, I changed this too with school so I'm now second
Just to note my partner has a great relationship with the kids and last year my ex wife often asked me to get her to watch the kids, that was before the current arrangements
Any advice on what would be best to do here would be appreciated
I'm kind of worried that she's calling all the shots here and I have nothing concrete apart from her "goodwill" at training moment
Thanks