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some advice please
#1
I posted on here yesterday wanting some advice,

When I got home yesterday we had received a letter from my partners, ex, solicitor asking if we would agree to changing the dates going back to court which is meant to be on the 11th of December, Reason being as there was a delay in arranging the contact centre which the solicitor was meant to do straight after the last court hearing and did not and his ex refusing to get in touch with the solicitor to do so now they are wanting to change the date to the earliest in January!

Our argument is
1- we believe mother has alienated the child to the point where she cant look at her dad without crying and will not be in the same room as him.
2-  the delay in the contact centre was all her fault for not agreeing times days etc. and obviously not getting in touch with her solicitor to do so.

we have sent a letter to go back to court earlier than the 11th at the start of November to rays the concerns of the child being so scared out of the blue but haven't heard anything back! do we have to contact the solicitor to refuse it or just ignore the letter and go to court on the 11th? or will it yet again go in mothers favour and be re scheduled for January.
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#2
(11-30-2017, 11:15 AM)HJA123 Wrote: I posted on here yesterday wanting some advice,

When I got home yesterday we had received a letter from my partners, ex, solicitor asking if we would agree to changing the dates going back to court which is meant to be on the 11th of December, Reason being as there was a delay in arranging the contact centre which the solicitor was meant to do straight after the last court hearing and did not and his ex refusing to get in touch with the solicitor to do so now they are wanting to change the date to the earliest in January!

Our argument is
1- we believe mother has alienated the child to the point where she cant look at her dad without crying and will not be in the same room as him.
2-  the delay in the contact centre was all her fault for not agreeing times days etc. and obviously not getting in touch with her solicitor to do so.

we have sent a letter to go back to court earlier than the 11th at the start of November to rays the concerns of the child being so scared out of the blue but haven't heard anything back! do we have to contact the solicitor to refuse it or just ignore the letter and go to court on the 11th? or will it yet again go in mothers favour and be re scheduled for January.

(12-01-2017, 04:18 PM)wellz2013 : This whole court hearing thing is a complete nightmare especially if you\re the one pushing to go to court. I got divorced 4 years ago now and to say its a prolonged painful process is, as well all know, an understatement. I had an initial court hearing due in March, which was delayed due to my ex not having her paperwork ready. Then May comes and the next hearing, delayed again through her ill health (umm). June the next hearing we actually get to court, only to find she hasn't completed the required paperwork the Judge adjourns till October. October comes and yes it gets delayed again, reason being she and her partner are taking to kids out of school that week to go on a family holiday in Norfolk and the court allowed it. Insane. Then finally in December that year we get to court.The whole process heavily supports the 'main carer' in this case the mother. Despite the fact that I as the Father just want to get on with life and build a future for the children with me. You could spend £100's and £1000's trying to forced the issue and get to court (solicitor chasing letters) as I did, but in reality I ended getting to court at the same rate? so who's the fool? If the main carer can prolong the process whatever it maybe be financial, access arrangements or anything else then they will because this proves they work with situation whatever it maybe and looks favourable in court. So in short I'm not sure you'll be able to push the situation anyway in terms of getting to court. Regarding what shes doing in with your daughter, not acceptable and I am still going through the same crap. People mention CAFCASS involvement to me or even other support worker streams. I haven't taken these options so I can't talk about them mainly because I don't want to put my kids through it. I'm afraid that because they live with their Mother more she'll turn any attempts I make to make the situation better against me in the kids eyes. Wrote:
(11-30-2017, 11:15 AM)HJA123 Wrote: I posted on here yesterday wanting some advice,

When I got home yesterday we had received a letter from my partners, ex, solicitor asking if we would agree to changing the dates going back to court which is meant to be on the 11th of December, Reason being as there was a delay in arranging the contact centre which the solicitor was meant to do straight after the last court hearing and did not and his ex refusing to get in touch with the solicitor to do so now they are wanting to change the date to the earliest in January!

Our argument is
1- we believe mother has alienated the child to the point where she cant look at her dad without crying and will not be in the same room as him.
2-  the delay in the contact centre was all her fault for not agreeing times days etc. and obviously not getting in touch with her solicitor to do so.

we have sent a letter to go back to court earlier than the 11th at the start of November to rays the concerns of the child being so scared out of the blue but haven't heard anything back! do we have to contact the solicitor to refuse it or just ignore the letter and go to court on the 11th? or will it yet again go in mothers favour and be re scheduled for January.
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#3
It's just a courtesy to say we're sticking to the 11th. Let her solicitor take a hit from the judge - no judge is going to be best pleased that something as simple as a contact centre cant be organised by a solicitor when every lawyer knows them all and their telephone numbers off by heart.

Let me ask you this, if you conceded to moving the hearing till January do you think it'll make her reasonable in the future? No, I didn't think so. So forget her, get to court and get some contact sorted for Christmas.
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#4
Why does a delay in organising the contact centre affect the date of the hearing? Was it ordered to see how contact would go in the contact centre before next hearing or something? Regardless, as Chi say, write a polite brief email back saying. I wish to keep to the 11th December court hearing date. And they can explain at the hearing why the contact centre wasn't arranged. It's all just messing about.
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#5
I really need to read these posts back after typing, autocorrect is terrible!

As Charlie points out, it's a delaying tactic. Don't fall for it.
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#6
Thanks everyone and you are all right it is a delay. even though the contact order says she is to spend half of Christmas day with him we know 100% it will never happen. The last contact session last Saturday went awfully wrong as mother wouldn't leave the room and started a scene in front of the little one crying stomping her feet calling dad a liar and surprise surprise none of the contact centre workers were in the room at the time. he is meant to be meeting her at the local park alone this weekend and we know she wont leave the little one go we try telling the courts this but they don't listen just ask mum to try harder. Its so easy to tell a 5year old child that someone is nasty and they shouldn't go with them, even though when she meets him he is never nasty, he never enters into a argument with her mother in front of her but she will sit in the car and cry and make a scene for no reason its quite unbelievable I don't think people realise how crazy she actually is.
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#7
I think I would want to record that! I don't think recordings are admissable in court - but you could show it to social services. Although they aren't that up on parental alienation. You could tell them it's emotional harm though. At least they might write a report you could use in court.

That is an awful thing to do in front of a child.
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#8
He is due back in court on the 11th of December. fingers crossed he will be allowed to speak up. They don't really say much in court to be honest its as if they don't care. throughout the whole year he's been trying he hasn't had his daughter once. Surely the courts aren't that stupid to see what's really going on. He has had to do 4 statements he has had CAFCASS do a full report, he has had reports off the contact centre and as I mentioned in previous posts she claimed the little one was very ill and suffered with eczema due to stress because of her dad, so we sent all the medical and GP records to the court with no mention of any illness infact she has never taken the little one to the GP this year, and they still let that go as mum claimed she goes by herself because the little one is to ashamed of it. I personally am getting tired and I know my partner is getting very fed up and it is affecting him as a person I don't know whether to write a long letter for him explaining what's happened and why daddy wasn't around and passing it onto the little one when she is older and letting her make her own mind up or carry on fighting and loosing battle. I seriously wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
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#9
Neither would I (wish it on my worst enemy). Try and chill and take your mind off it for a few days and go along to the hearing prepared with a position statement. Writing it will help you get focused. And to avoid the emotional reactions.
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#10
(12-05-2017, 10:26 AM)HJA123 Wrote: He is due back in court on the 11th of December. fingers crossed he will be allowed to speak up. They don't really say much in court to be honest its as if they don't care. throughout the whole year he's been trying he hasn't had his daughter once. Surely the courts aren't that stupid to see what's really going on. He has had to do 4 statements he has had CAFCASS do a full report, he has had reports off the contact centre and as I mentioned in previous posts she claimed the little one was very ill and suffered with eczema due to stress because of her dad, so we sent all the medical and GP records to the court with no mention of any illness infact she has never taken the little one to the GP this year, and they still let that go as mum claimed she goes by herself because the little one is to ashamed of it. I personally am getting tired and I know my partner is getting very fed up and it is affecting him as a person I don't know whether to write a long letter for him explaining what's happened and why daddy wasn't around and passing it onto the little one when she is older and letting her make her own mind up or carry on fighting and loosing battle. I seriously wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

how was court on the 11th?
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