12-02-2017, 11:51 PM
Really need some advice, i have been separated from my partner for 5years and have had my son a weekend a month since, due to Distance apart. The separation was due to my controlling ex partner to the point of it making my socially anxious. we were never married, we had some legal solicitor to solicitor letters to arrange everything right at the start, but nothing through the courts or binding.
I have had him regularly from the age of about 18months old to now nearly 7 years old, usual helicopter parenting by mother over texts, which means a nervous weekend under a spotlight, but recently he has become obsessed with the amount of days he is with me, getting worried if he is away from Mum for too long, which i took as him being more used to time with his mother.
I have him this weekend and it has came to a head somewhat, he was mentioning how many days here and i jokingly said "don't you like coming here", which he replied with "yeah but i miss mummy", again nothing to alarming until he mentioned "mummy said when i'm twelve she said i wont be coming anymore", bit taken back, i said "wont you miss us"(meaning me, mum, dad his two half sisters etc) and he said "yeah but its what mummy said" implying he doesn't have a choice and her intentions not as she shows face to face.
The issue with the situation is the mother isn't someone i can approach without it getting really messy, at present, even though its a nervous, worrying and upsetting monthly visit(which i obviously don't want it to be), im still seeing him but i don't know if its just a clingy parent or if its more vindictive(since a new male is on the scene and present at every pickup and drop off) of trying to put a wedge between us, The 12year age thing seems to imply a legal terminology has been looked into?
Apologise if thats all muddled, im still an anxious person and this is still fresh in my mind and panicking about whats going on and don't want to mess up or get myself into a bad situation, all i wanted was to see my son ever month, allowed to be a dad and have an easy life as far as the ex goes, asking a lot i know.
Just need advice on what to do for the best, financially im not in a position to go all out with the courts, but don't know if to go in hard ball with legal threats/letters or just sit back and not rock the boat just yet.
Thanks
I have had him regularly from the age of about 18months old to now nearly 7 years old, usual helicopter parenting by mother over texts, which means a nervous weekend under a spotlight, but recently he has become obsessed with the amount of days he is with me, getting worried if he is away from Mum for too long, which i took as him being more used to time with his mother.
I have him this weekend and it has came to a head somewhat, he was mentioning how many days here and i jokingly said "don't you like coming here", which he replied with "yeah but i miss mummy", again nothing to alarming until he mentioned "mummy said when i'm twelve she said i wont be coming anymore", bit taken back, i said "wont you miss us"(meaning me, mum, dad his two half sisters etc) and he said "yeah but its what mummy said" implying he doesn't have a choice and her intentions not as she shows face to face.
The issue with the situation is the mother isn't someone i can approach without it getting really messy, at present, even though its a nervous, worrying and upsetting monthly visit(which i obviously don't want it to be), im still seeing him but i don't know if its just a clingy parent or if its more vindictive(since a new male is on the scene and present at every pickup and drop off) of trying to put a wedge between us, The 12year age thing seems to imply a legal terminology has been looked into?
Apologise if thats all muddled, im still an anxious person and this is still fresh in my mind and panicking about whats going on and don't want to mess up or get myself into a bad situation, all i wanted was to see my son ever month, allowed to be a dad and have an easy life as far as the ex goes, asking a lot i know.
Just need advice on what to do for the best, financially im not in a position to go all out with the courts, but don't know if to go in hard ball with legal threats/letters or just sit back and not rock the boat just yet.
Thanks