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Worries about ex's new partner
#1
Hi,

I am new to here but wanted to check if those who might be in a similar position would be worried or not.

Separated 2.5 years, saw Relate 5 years ago after wife's affair and they said she is an addict for being fixed up, not being rejected and that need is more important than anything else. Decree nisi, but ex ostriching on consent order as she can't face being divorced at the moment. Ex still talks to me a lot, as well as others.

Current partner of 2 years met our children a couple of times but then had breakdown after she got pregnant and had a TOP (he had demanded she keep it, they'd be all over etc) - paranoia, psychosis, community psych team involved, strong meds (CIA watching his house, brought bed downstairs as safer, cat food being tampered with, people in shops stopping to listen to him, talking to God etc). She went back after 2m as couldn't stand pain of being alone.

They then split and got back together 4 times. Then 3m later, he turned up at the old family home, knowing our two young children would be here, massive row, and dumped all her stuff on the drive and dumped her. Turned out he had put a bug on her phone Whassap to copy all in/outgoing messages to his phone, as well as reading her phone texts, emails as often as he could - for 6m, quizzing her based on them, but never owning up to it. Thought she was cheating on him although ironically she wasn't! Has saved her messages and quotes to them to her as evidence it all her fault they've had problems. And me as I would not let him see the children until he'd shown he was ok after his breakdown and their relationship was stable.

Ex went back five weeks ago and he is demanding no more waiting, no more control by me, she will lose him if she doesn't do as he says etc. Fair to say he clearly now detests me.

I've said to my ex I cannot ever give him my blessing to be involved with the children, and it seems to me she cannot look out for herself, let alone our young children. It seems to me options are social services or residency order.

Or am I being too worried?

Thanks a lot, Edsri
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