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Baby in foreign country - what can I do?
Hi All,

I have the following issue which I would like advice on as I am totally out of ideas what to do now. My ex girlfriend moved in with me about 18 months ago. She became pregnant and relocated back to her home country Spain. Since she left communication with her was always a struggle. At the time I had no idea whether she had even decided to keep the child or not. I asked a friend of mine to call her and we re-established contact and I found out that she had given birth to a boy. I went to Barcelona and met my son for the first time about 6 months ago.

However since then we have lost contact again. She has responded to any of my messages at all. A week ago I went to Spain again and asked the wife of my friend to call her and to see if she would speak to her. They managed to speak for a while and my ex basically said she wanted to be left alone to raise her son.

My current circumstances are as follows
·        I am not named on the birth certificate
·        We currently have no contact at all. Her family have encouraged this
·        The birth wasn’t in the UK
·        I have offered money but this has been rejected
·        I have seen a British solicitor recommended by this forum. Sadly they told me that I have no rights at all and I am totally reliant on her kindness in allowing me to see him

I am due to go back to Barcelona for Christmas so it would be the perfect opportunity to see my son again. I am considering writing one final letter as the last attempt at making contact with her.

This issue is very emotionally painful for me and I have told my boss who recommends that I take time off work. I am also considering seeing a counsellor as I feel mental issues are affecting me

Any advice or suggestions of any potential action I can now take would be greatly welcomed
Sadly as your solicitor has already pointed out, without being named on the Birth Certificate and not being born in the UK leaves you very few options.
I think your only option would be to apply to the Spanish courts for parental rights to the child which will in all honestly be very very costly and by no means guaranteed if she decides to dispute it.
You could write to her again. Try to focus it on the child's needs rather than sounding like it's you wanting something maybe. So you could write and say you understand she wants to bring child up alone, but children need to know who their biological parents are and you would like child to be able to contact you and visit you sometimes, or you visit there, so he doesn't grow up feeling he has been abandoned.

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