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Need someone to talk to!
Hey all,

I'm in a pretty bad place at the moment regarding my 2 children (1.5 and 2.5 years old).

Firstly I am going to court in January so I can hopefully see my children more often, and to get access to their nursery and doctors info which is being withheld, so any advice on how to prepare while representing myself would be much appreciated. It breaks my heart how much of my Sons nursery I have missed! (sports day etc).

Secondly, the mother and I divorced over a year ago quite close to xmas so i didn't get to see the kids over the holidays. She now refuses all questions on this years arrangement so no awards to guess where this is going. I have 2 hours after work on a weekday and 1 day on a weekend every week (can I expect more from court?), but she changes the day last minute all the time and just says like it or lump it knowing full well how busy my work schedule is. Can she get away with this? Its driving me insane and I'm suffering serious depression and anxiety when it comes to trying to see them over the holidays or when I might have the odd day off!

-an example: I was supposed to have them this Thurs (7th Dec) after work, but she says it'll have to be the Wednesday. As always I say fine but can I have them for longer as ill have to take the whole afternoon off and she replies with actually I can only have them from half 5 to half 6 or not at all?! Doesn't even give enough time to go to and from dinner!

Is there anything I can do? Will the court understand how unfair she is being? Or is talking to you guys the only kind of relief I can hope for?

Thanks for any help.

-Last note: I applied for a birth cert for my daughter but they couldn't find her. If its because the mother hasn't registered it, how do i get one to confirm PR?
Keep your chin up mate, it’s never easy at this time of year dealing with trying to get access to your kids.

The court will almost certainly give you as a minimum every other weekend plus half of school holidays, plus a weekday evening if you ask for it. Be very clear about exactly what you want. As the non-resident parent, the court will fit your access around your work schedule if you ask - not what your ex wants! The courts are very used to the kinds of shenanigans your ex is playing. Just keep focussed on your kids, put them at the centre of all your arguments in court, and you’ll be fine. If you’re representing yourself, get one of the decent books out there on how to do it and keep yourself occupied by reading it so you know the process inside out.

Not sure about the birth certificate issue. You’ll probably be OK in court if your ex isn’t disputing you having parental responsibility – the court won’t want proof if it’s not an issue between the two parents – but obviously try and find out what’s happened to it as your daughter will need it herself.

In the mean time, to take your mind off not being with them, try and focus on what you will all do when the court gives you regular time with them that your ex can’t block. It might all feel a bit overwhelming right now, but you’re going to get plenty of years of their childhood to enjoy with them yet. And until then, whenever things feel tough, this forum will always be here.
I think court will help you. Good thing is that she is still giving you some access all bet it a poor amount of time but that shows that there is no reason for you to have more time. There is a few good posts on here that help on hiw to conduct yourself at court... you should check them out....I think you will be ok. Good luck bro
I think their ages may be taken into account when going for access and it may you build it up slowly to what it should be. I thought most kids went to nursery at 3 years old. I am not aware of them doing school reports or sports day either. I found from my experience and everyones is different that as soon as they go into reception class primary school is when u want to know how they are doing and getting on and that is I believe from the age of 4/5 onwards. you do need to get PR as then you can just go into the school/nursery and get a newsletter and see how they are doing etc and obtain medical records. If your available to have them then theres no reason why u shouldn't have them rather then them being put in nursery instead. Eventually like Two Wheels said you will end up having them overnight all weekend every 2 weeks

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