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Depressed
#1
Really doing my best to stop myself from falling in to depression. Waiting for the Judge to respond to my letter re clarity on the appeal order where permission was granted to appeal. Which is before the judge for the last few days.
I wonder if the childrens welfare is really looked at in court or its a paper exercise.

Rather than waiting for a response on the phone ,shall I just turn up to court? And wait to see if can get to see the judge?
How to stop the process of this downward spiral of feel low and undermined as a parent.
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#2
Depression.....I know how that feels....feeling it myself right now...but think we just need to keep battling on. Maybe see your doctor or some councilling and try to keep yourself active run walk swim gym but noooo alcohol or drugs. Good luck bro and hope you hear from the judge soon.
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#3
Honestly? I'd wait for the report to be given to you.

It's not going to get processed any quicker, but if you go down to the court you could be accused of harassing the service, which is a word that seems to get banded about far too much in these circles.

The legal world seems to be a flighty and delicate thing, despite having to deal primarily with criminals, gangsters and murderers.

I know it's frustrating, but I'd just leave it to run it's course. It'll get there.
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#4
You cant just turn up at courts, unfortunately you just got to sit back and wait in suspense for them to get back with you.
Go and see friends and family, exercise , watch box sets and try and keep your mind off things.
I was meant to have our children this xmas im not now. Not going to see them for at least 6 weeks so got to do the same.
Grin and bear it and just wait Sad
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#5
Thank you all. Its hard trying to protect your little ones from potential harm and the system does not take that on board.
I have been my sons primary and resident parent since his birth and the having to deal with the bias of it all really cripples you . Its hard to digest that domestic violence ,being a victim is ignored. Neglect etc . The list goes on .

Im fairly clued up to the safeguarding given my previous position as a SW. How the hell do you protect your kids when the law to protect children fails.
This process is a great way to lose weight?
im half my size since last year and £1000s down from this process of appeal
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#6
I feel for you mate. I too am suffering from pretty bad depression. I feel like the route of my problem is since leaving my ex wife and two kids I now have no one to talk to (old friends moved away and I have no family of my own). So I would suggest spending time with people close to you and just talking about it, getting it off your chest to people who truly care is probably the best form of dealing with it. The rest is out of your control so just roll with the punches!
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#7
I cannot even imagine what dads on here must be going through not having their children with them. I am indeed a father who has my son living with me after literally throwing out the ex following DV and then to be a victim of the family court system ,cafcass etc.
But I await patiently in the fathers queue for that court appeal date . I wonder how quick it would be if the boot was on the other foot. I worry more about my son having contact with the mother and overnight at the refuge which was never agreed . Such a mess. Its been a year protecting my son from harm and what for ? For the courts to screw up like they have and not really rush to sort it out. I may as well stayed in the abusive relationship.

Merry xmas to you all. I know its not the same but thinking of you all.
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#8
Not feeling too good now. At a low point. Still feel intimidated by the ex more so since she is taking advantage of the court order which had so many inaccuracies in it . And now im waiting for an appeal date to be set which can be up to 6 months.
Courts make a mistake on the order and you are no better of safeguarding your child. Its a joke.
I worry for my son in ensuring he is not exposed to the toxic behaviour from his mother ,especially the impact he has suffered from dv.
Can do anything to protect him as Ive been told to follow the existing order until the appeal date.
I feel I have failed my son. I ended the relationship to protect him now im bk in the same situation.
I know he is at risk of harm given his mothers previous concerns if neglect abuse etc. The system is not protecting children. This whole thing has floored me. I was an active social worker in cp. Now im so confused to what merits harm in the eyes of the courts?' If threats to remove a child from the country n not returns is not harm, placing a child with domestic violence perpetrator and contact with a violent person is not considered putting a child at harm. A person who has neglected and abused a child is allowed to have overnights with out appropriate assessments completed to make safe is ok?
The issue is who really gives a dam. The system doesnt. Only the concerned parent and who cares what the parent states with a box full of police logs , health logs etc
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#9
You have not failed your son.

This is the sh*t bit. The waiting for reports, where everything is up in the air. But whilst this is incredibly frustrating and demoralising, things behind the scenes are slowly moving. The gears of justice are notoriously slow, but they do move.

It's hard, so hard, but you've got to keep going. For you, and for your boy.

The juice will be worth the squeeze. Trust me.
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