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Court Orders - just words?
#1
Hi,

Does anybody have experience or know of when the Childs mother was actually fined or sent to prison for breaking a court order?  It seems there are no official statistics on this, just number of orders issued, although I've put in a freedom of information request. 

From what I've gathered so far, only a few cases resulted in jail or a fine, and this was after 3- 4 years of  the mother breaking 20 to 30 contact orders. Jail or a fine can only be given if an agreement is reached by  cafcass, social services and the courts that the child will not suffer as a result of the fine/imprisonment. So if the mother has had custody for several years and makes the case that she cannot afford a fine and that the child will hate the father for her jail or that she will lose a job, or has other kids to look after too....jail or fines aint gonna happen!

Instead you just see years of threats and warning of jail or fines. A recent case in the media spoke of 28 breached orders before jail time...it took 4 years to punish her...the father despite spending so much on solicitors and turning his life upside down....saw his kid 4 times for an hour over the 4 years.....some victory eh.

I told my court last week, what is the incentive for my ex not to keep making allegations,  turning up for court, not refusing access etc... delaying the cases and me seeing my child for years?  Turns out there is no answer. I also told them whilst all the fact finding goes on and eventually its shown she has lied and I have told the truth (I had evidence from day one)...whats her punishment? 
Answer - there isn't one. 

Some of you may side with the courts, thinking its wrong to punish the Childs mother as it will affect the child...well ultimately its her actions that are affecting the child! And maybe an actual punishment would stop her from repeating, otherwise, we will miss our childs childhood!
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#2
I have some spare minutes to reply while im at the Citizens advice.

The courts are blind to and consideration of the welfare of the child. Im a father who is going through the mill , was resident parent since his birth. The ex was violent and abusive etc.
I ended the relationship because of the impact it was having on my son.
Had the final order which was nothing I had agreed.
And thanks to the order she us able to create more disruption to my sons emotional and physical wellbeing.
I appealed the order and was granted permission to appeal and given a date between 3 to 6 month for availability of hearing date.
Ex has breached every contact And there remains safeguarding concerns not addressed. Neglect , abuse, threats to remove child out of uk. Impact of Domestic violence my son has been exposed too .

So Even with my concerns made to the judge on monday via letter of recent breaches and concerns requesting a stay on the current order and previous order to remain in force as it was safe.
I was told that the last order remains in force?

So am I to continue to put my child at risk of harm for the next 3-6 months while they set a appeal hearing date?

The system blind sides breaches. Or it could be for just the fathers if they breach that things get dealt with urgently.



.
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#3
(12-13-2017, 10:36 AM)asd1270 Wrote: I have some spare minutes to reply while im at the Citizens advice.

The courts are blind to and consideration of the welfare of the child. Im a father who is going through the mill , was resident parent since  his birth. The ex was violent and abusive etc.
I ended the relationship because of the impact it was having on my son.
Had the final order which was nothing I had agreed.
And thanks to the order she us able to create more disruption to my sons emotional and physical wellbeing.
I appealed the order and was granted permission to appeal and given a date between 3 to 6 month for availability of hearing date.
Ex has breached every contact  And there remains safeguarding concerns not addressed. Neglect , abuse, threats to remove child out of uk. Impact of Domestic  violence my son has been exposed too .

So Even with my concerns made to the judge on monday via letter of recent breaches  and  concerns requesting   a stay on the current order and previous order to remain in force as it was safe.
I was told that the last order remains in force?

So am I to continue to put my child at risk of harm for the next 3-6 months while they set a appeal hearing date?

The system blind sides breaches. Or it could be for just the fathers if they breach that things get dealt with urgently.



.
Are you still the resident parent? and the ex just gets contact through an order? or do you mean she is now resident parent?
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#4
The final order states child shall live with mother on certain days.
Child shall live with dad on etc

I did not agree to that hense the application for appeal.
How the donkeys can an order be so off..my only guess is cafcass drafted the order and the magistrates just rubber stamped it.

The order should read; overnights to start once mother has attended abc&d secured her own accommodation.attended this and that programme etc

Week 1: fri sat over night return 3pm sunday
Week 2: tue fri tea time contact

Not as it states.
Tue wed overnight and fri sat overnight return Sun 3pm
Week2; tue tea time contact, thurs ,fri overnight return sat 10am.
What a mess. Complete disruption to the poor kids already settled routine.

Ok just got news from the judge via telephone. The micky mouse order stands.

So I guess breaching the orders as the ex has done and potential flight risk is ok and safe.

Looks like I have to ride it out until the appeal date is set for 2030

Ok gonna try relax.
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#5
My thoughts go out to all those in this thread.

I gave up trying to make sense of the system a long while back. It keeps stating it is in the best interest of the children yet at times acts in a seemingly alternative reality.

My wife walked out and left me with the kids because the poor dear was depressed from sitting at home and doing nothing. She abandoned her 15 month old behind to go live with her parents in a mansion no less.

I told her that I can't possibly look after the boys and still go to the office and pay the bills, her response was "I don't care, sell the house, live at your parents and claim social while you look after the boys".

Now her solicitors are sending me threats of court because she's decided it's fashionable to be a mum again and wants overnight stay and my solicitors say the courts will likely want to "promote the relationship with their mother".

It's a joke I'm afraid.
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#6
(12-13-2017, 08:29 PM)Patrick_E Wrote: My thoughts go out to all those in this thread.

I gave up trying to make sense of the system a long while back. It keeps stating it is in the best interest of the children yet at times acts in a seemingly alternative reality.

My wife walked out and left me with the kids because the poor dear was depressed from sitting at home and doing nothing. She abandoned her 15 month old behind to go live with her parents in a mansion no less.

I told her that I can't possibly look after the boys and still go to the office and pay the bills, her response was "I don't care, sell the house, live at your parents and claim social while you look after the boys".

Now her solicitors are sending me threats of court because she's decided it's fashionable to be a mum again and wants overnight stay and my solicitors say the courts will likely want to "promote the relationship with their mother".

It's a joke I'm afraid.

Let her take you to court if she wishes. Solicitors can threaten all they like, but what court will say is a different matter. If your solicitors won't fight your corner, dump them and find one who will.  I had a crap limp-wristed one, now I have a rottweiler who is getting real results through the court system.  Get one who is hungry to litigate.  Too many of them want to promote mediation these days, and if you have an unreasonable ex, it's a  waste of time and money.
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#7
Same happened to me. The ex walked out went bk overseas when my son was 8 months n came back 5months later. Hes 4 now and I ended the relationship a year ago following years of abuse and assaults on me. Given all that and being the main carer and resident parent all that time the courts and cafcass think its ok to ignore the domestic violence and abandonment and abuse etc. It makes me wonder if the whole court process is on a flow chart n different for fathers .Now my son is back to square one. Put in a situation at risk. I may as well stayed in the relationship as nothing has changed. The breaches are ignored and so are safeguarding concerns. It a joke and I am not my self anymore. Half of wat I was. Broken n struggling. The worst thing is having to still be in contact with this violent person.
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#8
(12-14-2017, 12:04 AM)marwood Wrote: Let her take you to court if she wishes. Solicitors can threaten all they like, but what court will say is a different matter.
Many thanks for your advice and support. I'll have a clearer picture of what's going to happen soon. I spoke to the solicitors on the phone, and frankly ended up with more questions than answers but I hear you. I will test the coming few weeks and if nothing's doing I'll switch solicitors or approach.
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