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Facing the abuser
Its difficult enough having to communicate by text. Phone calls I avoid now cos I feel threatened still by the ex and its been a year since separated.

With Contacts I'm having to ask a friend to drop and collect my son as I have anxiety issues and feel sick if I have to see the ex , more to do with being frightened.

Why would a court not take this into account.?

It states on the order The father to take and collect to contact.
Im still receiving counselling over the domestic violence.
Still getting threats and being intimidated. Yet nothing is done by the courts

A year of depression and cant escape being put in vulnerable situations.

As many of you dads are which is GREAT FATHERS the worrying is much greater..we want the best for our children away from the abuse they have suffered.

Why women lie in this situation is beyond belief.
I know how you feel.

I suffered emotional abuse for years at the hands of my ex, to the extent that I now have a stammer - it wasn't there before I met her, I know that much.

I hate having any form of contact with her as it brings back the old feelings - my heart starts to pound, I start feeling hot and I get agitated. It's the adrenaline - and not in a good way. What's happening is that the "fight or flight" mechanism is kicking in - and I just want to run away. It's not helped that she continues this abuse right up to this day.

How am I supposed to have a working relationship with someone like that for the sake of our children?

Sadly I don't have any choice. I just try and limit contact to the bare minimum. I've even had to assign particular ringtones to her contact in my phone, as I used to jump every time it went off thinking it might be her.

To be fair, I used to jump when we were married too. She's never been the nicest of women.
I know how you feel bud

In my case handovers are done at a contact centre to avoid any contact with my ex.

This is a temporary fix though, I'm considering drawing up some kind of "Relationship Contract" sounds dumb but in the situation I feel like I have to get some kind of semi formal thing set out that covers everything from "emails will be short, direct and about our daughter" to "no abusive language"

If you need to chat feel free to pm me

You're not alone in this dude

Always remember its all about your child
You could get a non molestation order maybe. I believe she is not allowed to contact you or come near you then. A third party could do pickups and dropoffs or better still get the order varied so you only pickup and drop off at school and someone else can do it in the holidays.
I tried to get a prohibited steps and was told I have to wait on courts to set another appeal hearing date that should have taken place last week but due to time restraints they cancelled it. This would have sorted out the mess. Now ive been told that next hearing date for appeal hearing may be in 3-6 months.. its a joke after they screwed up the final order in October Im having to pay out of my pocket to sort it. Plus having to put my son bk in the same situation for reasons I ended the relationship . U dont simply place a child in to the care of person who has violent . If this was a mother in my shoes ill be shut out from my kids life for sometime until I polished all the shoes in some rule book re domestic violence. Cant wait till all this is over and bk to the healthy routine my son has been in the last 13months.

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