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Where to start..
#11
She says she needs time to decide what she wants, and is confused...
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#12
I would ignore what she wants and decide what you want.
She has betrayed your trust massively.

I would suggest she is trying to pacify you by offering this hint of reconciliation.
It is her way of taking control of the situation.
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#13
Hate to say this, but KICK HER OUT. I've been on the other side of this equation (ie, the "other guy" - not proud, but it is what it is). She wants to keep the house? You're the only wage earner? She cuts all contact IMMEDIATELY with this guy, or she's out of the house.

You wouldn't do this to her - why the hell should you put up with it being done to you? Don't buy into any of this "my mood swings pushed her to it" rationalising. She CHOSE to involve herself with this other guy. Now she can choose to end it, or she can choose to leave and support herself. Be strong and DO NOT settle.
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#14
That actually rings true, but the kids..
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#15
..will see their dad being cuckolded, abused, and eventually dumped. I hate to say it, but this situation will not end well for you unless you absolutely lay the law down. Things can't go back to what they were, but if you take the initiative, you can create a far better situation for you and your kids.

It's easy to say, outside, looking in - I know it must be far harder to come to terms with the reality. But push through it and come out the other side, you will be better off without her. The dark is not dark, don't be afraid of it
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#16
(12-19-2017, 07:20 PM)Ukfirestorm Wrote: That actually rings true, but the kids..

What do you feel in your heart?

We can say what we want, but it's your life, your love and your happiness. That's your right, and yours alone.

Do what YOU want to do, and only you know what that is.

And whatever that may be, we will support you.
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#17
I’d consider keeping the rented house so if all else fails you have a house each.

Sell it and the proceeds will likely be split.

Love how she blames you for kissing him... to kiss him she must be attracted to him. Things may or may not progress further this is the issue, what do you feel and do if it does?
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#18
One other thing in addition to the good advice given here - if you haven't already done this, set up a bank account in your name only, and ensure that's where your salary goes. You clearly can't trust her with access to a joint account (where you're the only one paying in). Be ruthless. You are in a fight now - damage control is essential. There will be no going back to what things were, but you can shape something far better for yourself and your kids by accepting the realities of the situation and cutting her loose ASAP.
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#19
Bro I'm also going through this right now....had written a big replay but it was my own feeling right now so probably not the best advice....so deleted it...but to be honest with you I don't want to separate as I'm sure you don't. ...but when that trust is gone.....I think there is no other way. Believe me it's fcks with your head. I'm sure your head is spinning right now...take time and have a right good think of what you want...not her .....but you. But not to much time because it won't get any easier...and keep using this site it does help to talk about it.
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#20
Thanks all
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