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Where to start..
#1
Been married eleven years, have two girls aged 4 and 2, and recently my wife has told me she is seeing someone else, so far only kissing, but they message each other all the time.
She tells me she is confused, has feelings for him, but isn't sure. 
I'm in limbo..

Any ideas? They have met up around 8 times and tell each other they love each other, she says she loves me but it's different..
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#2
Sorry UK to hear that....no wonder your in limbo. Her affair will mess your head up bro....believe me.
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#3
It's been going on since October, and she explained that I had made her feel numb with my mood swings..and that's what mead her there.
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#4
(12-16-2017, 08:59 PM)Ukfirestorm Wrote: Been married eleven years, have two girls aged 4 and 2, and recently my wife has told me she is seeing someone else, so far only kissing, but they message each other all the time.
She tells me she is confused, has feelings for him, but isn't sure. 
I'm in limbo..

Any ideas? They have met up around 8 times and tell each other they love each other, she says she loves me but it's different..

For me the big question is - how do you feel? 

I can't put enough emphasis on this one. Park the rest of it for the moment - the house, the kids, the lot. Just have a think about how this feels for you. Do you still love her? Could you forgive her? And could you see you both moving past this?

And from there, then you can start to decide what you want to do about all of this. 

There's aren't any right or wrong answers to this one, and you're probably in a certain amount of shock as well. Just take your time and think it over.

I'm not brilliant with these things, but I'm here if you just want to talk about it, either on this thread or by PM.
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#5
As Petem has said, the key questions are - how you feel about this? ,is the current state of your relationship acceptable to you?

My view is that if you do reconcile, you are setting yourself up for years of paranoia and resentment.

Plus - the standard advice of seeing a solicitor and not moving out of the house....
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#6
This is your call....don't rush in and do anything in anger....but you need to ask yourself this.....can I live with someone who can do this to me.....she has lied to you since October. Can you ever trust or have any love for her now....I know it's a big call bro. As pete says we will be here to talk if it helps...
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#7
Other complications are that we are selling the house we rent out, and share the childcare, I'm the only wager earner.
Her preference is to stay in the house with me moving out...
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#8
(12-18-2017, 04:19 PM)Ukfirestorm Wrote: Other complications are that we are selling the house we rent out, and share the childcare, I'm the only wager earner.
Her preference is to stay in the house with me moving out...

Was the house sale already happening, or something that's just been decided?

Does that mean that one of you has made their mind up?
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#9
Was already happening...
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#10
That's pants, man. As the guys have said, you need to work out how you feel. Why has she told you? Do you think she wants to work things out? Time for some frank conversations

Whatever the outcome you're going to feel many emotions over the next few weeks and months, so make sure you have the support of people you can be open with. Don't bottle things up. Exercise is a good way to deal with any negative emotions, so make that part of your day if it isn't already.

Don't be rushed into making decisions about living arrangements, get some legal advice. Be honest with yourself.

We're all here to help and somewhere on this forum is someone walking a similar path. Ask anything!
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