Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Christmas Visits
#1
I have a court order allowing me visitation on 26th, 31st dec and 2nd Jan, all normal days assigned to me by the family court, my ex has decided to go away with her new partner and my 2 yr old daughter, visiting her family around the UK, and has cancelled all my xmas visits, the next visit according to her now is 7th Jan. Apparently she spoke to the police who assured her she could do so . I did ask her to try and change her dates and allow me extra time for the days I would be missing, so my daughter would see me, her step sisters and my extended family, but she refused, insisting the tone of the email I sent was threatening, in fact the email was actually written by a barrister, and was very accommodating. I now have no contact with my barrister until the NY but wondered if anyone could advise me on what options I have come the NY. Many thanks.
Reply
#2
I was going to say you have one option but you in fact have two. Firstly though, your ex is lying, the police would not get involved in child arrangement disputes and frankly if they did, they would tell you that they would spend their time doing nothing else. Do you think the police are really going to give advice counter to the Orders of a Judge of the Family Court? Exactly.

Here is what you need to do. In your situation I would write to her like this, Dear X, I am writing to you again about Chrisgmas arrsngements for the children. Those art arrangemengs have been decided by a court and the days they they have indicated the children spend with me are for the benefit of the children and for me. I'm asking - respectfully - that you be reasonable and stick to the Order. I will pick up X at x time on x date.

I don't wish to be difficult, but if the Order is not followed then I will apply to the court in the NY for enforcement of the Order and that will likely result in you being fined or being made to do no unpaid work. Unfortunately, if I don't see X as ordered over the holidays, going back to court is the only option I have. I'm asking that you be reasonable.
Kind regards, X." Now, she may respond with claims that you are harassing her, are being abusive or something else but just ignore that. Only respond if she talks about arrsngemenrs for Christmas.

If that does not work - and even if you know it may not, you still need to send the email so that you can show the Court in due course - then you need to take the matter back to court for enforcememt in the new year and you need to do so in order that you can wear her down continously throughout successive breaches to show that she can't get away with this kind of thing.

I'm sorry you won't see your children for Christmas. Some women are just cruel and yes, sadly I'm in that same boat with you this year. Could you pass the cranberry sauce please?
Reply
#3
(12-23-2017, 01:25 PM)Chi21965 Wrote: I was going to say you have one option but you in fact have two. Firstly though, your ex is lying, the police would not get involved in  child arrangement disputes and frankly if they did, they would tell you that they would spend their time doing nothing else. Do you think the police are really going to give advice counter to the Orders of a Judge of the Family Court? Exactly.

Here is what you need to do. In your situation I would write to her like this, Dear X, I am writing to you again about Chrisgmas arrsngements for the children. Those art arrangemengs have been decided by a court and the days they they have indicated the children spend with me are for the benefit of the children and for me. I'm asking - respectfully - that you be reasonable and stick to the Order. I will pick up X at x time on x date.

I don't wish to be difficult, but if the Order is not followed then I will apply to the court in the NY for enforcement of the Order and that will likely result in you being fined or being made to do no unpaid work. Unfortunately, if I don't see X as ordered over the holidays, going back to court is the only option I have. I'm asking that you be reasonable.
Kind regards, X." Now, she may respond with claims that you are harassing her, are being abusive or something else but just ignore that. Only respond if she talks about arrsngemenrs for Christmas.

If that does not work - and even if you know it may not, you still need to send the email so that you can show the Court in due course - then you need to take the matter back to court for enforcememt in the new year and you need to do so in order that you can wear her down continously throughout successive breaches to show that she can't get away with this kind of thing.

I'm sorry you won't see your children for Christmas. Some women are just cruel and yes,  sadly I'm in that same boat with you this year. Could you pass the cranberry sauce please?

Hi,

Yes, I already did all that, explaining everything in very simple form so she would understand she was in breach and what would happen, I think the best course of action is as you suggest, back to the court for breach, come Jan she also has to start giving longer visits, adding additional days as well as overnights and shared holidays , as indicated in the same court order, I feel that this is all to do with this, and she is doing her utmost hoping for a reaction so to as use against me. Going to court should hopefully resolve all this, because what ever I try to do myself with her, only results in accusations of threatening and harassing behaviour.
Reply
#4
That's tough bro....as chi says that is cruel. Sorry to hear what's going on.....Christmas is a hard enough time then she goes and does that. These woman that use the kids to hurt us are bang out of order. Hope you get it sorted bro
Reply
#5
(12-23-2017, 12:43 PM)5879 Wrote: I have a court order allowing me visitation on 26th, 31st dec and 2nd Jan, all normal days assigned to me by the family court, my ex has decided to go away with her new partner and my 2 yr old daughter, visiting her family around the UK, and has cancelled all my xmas visits, the next visit according to her now is 7th Jan. Apparently she spoke to the police who assured her she could do so . I did ask her to try and change her dates and allow me extra time for the days I would be missing, so my daughter would see me, her step sisters and my extended family, but she refused, insisting the tone of the email I sent was threatening, in fact the email was actually written by a barrister, and was very accommodating. I now have no contact with my barrister until the NY but wondered if anyone could advise me on what options I have come the NY. Many thanks.

The Police can not get involved with changing the arrangements. Only a Court can do that.

However, if you turn up where the child is, they would have to remove the child into your care, as per the Court Order.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#6
(12-23-2017, 01:55 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(12-23-2017, 12:43 PM)5879 Wrote: I have a court order allowing me visitation on 26th, 31st dec and 2nd Jan, all normal days assigned to me by the family court, my ex has decided to go away with her new partner and my 2 yr old daughter, visiting her family around the UK, and has cancelled all my xmas visits, the next visit according to her now is 7th Jan. Apparently she spoke to the police who assured her she could do so . I did ask her to try and change her dates and allow me extra time for the days I would be missing, so my daughter would see me, her step sisters and my extended family, but she refused, insisting the tone of the email I sent was threatening, in fact the email was actually written by a barrister, and was very accommodating. I now have no contact with my barrister until the NY but wondered if anyone could advise me on what options I have come the NY. Many thanks.

The Police can not get involved with changing the arrangements. Only a Court can do that.

However, if you turn up where the child is, they would have to remove the child into your care, as per the Court Order.

Hi Mark, We already thought about that, unfortunately she won't tell me where she is going to be and on which days, stating harassment and intruding in her private life,i'm not allowed to call either, only email, to which she only replys once its too late to do anything, tbh, I also wouldn't want to distress my daughter by being removed from her mother by the police  Sad
Reply
#7
(12-23-2017, 02:12 PM)5879 Wrote:
(12-23-2017, 01:55 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(12-23-2017, 12:43 PM)5879 Wrote: I have a court order allowing me visitation on 26th, 31st dec and 2nd Jan, all normal days assigned to me by the family court, my ex has decided to go away with her new partner and my 2 yr old daughter, visiting her family around the UK, and has cancelled all my xmas visits, the next visit according to her now is 7th Jan. Apparently she spoke to the police who assured her she could do so . I did ask her to try and change her dates and allow me extra time for the days I would be missing, so my daughter would see me, her step sisters and my extended family, but she refused, insisting the tone of the email I sent was threatening, in fact the email was actually written by a barrister, and was very accommodating. I now have no contact with my barrister until the NY but wondered if anyone could advise me on what options I have come the NY. Many thanks.

The Police can not get involved with changing the arrangements. Only a Court can do that.

However, if you turn up where the child is, they would have to remove the child into your care, as per the Court Order.

Hi Mark, We already thought about that, unfortunately she won't tell me where she is going to be and on which days, stating harassment and intruding in her private life,i'm not allowed to call either, only email, to which she only replys once its too late to do anything, tbh, I also wouldn't want to distress my daughter by being removed from her mother by the police  Sad

While she has the right to say how she wants contacting, you have the right to have your contact, as per the Court Order.  My suggestion is to email her, and inform her that on the 27th December, at 10am, you will be filing an Application For Enforcement at Court, and asking for leave for it to be listed as an Urgent Hearing, and that you will be seeking as well as the normal Fine or Unpaid work, the Order to be upgraded to carry a Penal Notice, making Prision an option is she breaks the order again.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Supervised Visits? JimT101 0 371 11-30-2017, 04:23 PM
Last Post: JimT101



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)