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Waited in vain.
#1
In 1999 my wife let me down, unforgivably. The relationship was over. We had two children (beautiful little girls) age 4 & 2. I left our nice home and lived in poor accommodation, as this was all I could afford (surprise) I saw the girls regularly. She very quickly moved a new partner into the house, a pre-op transsexual. Within weeks the new partner had been promoted to Daddy, I found this out one day while I had the girls for the day, they we're saying "our daddy" talking about another person. This had been drummed into them. A few days later and they were made to call me and ask me not to come see them anymore. The access I was being offered had gone from 50/50 to two hours once a fortnight. All due to the new partner. I fought it with dozens and dozens of solicitor letters.. Too and fro, just making it worse.  I was told as she was being the way she was it would be likely I'd only get the two hours a fortnight, and I would have to confuse the girls be telling them I'm am actually their Dad and not this other person. Every time I did see them there was massive trauma at collection, the girls were being weaponised and their emotional wellbeing put at risk in order for the new partner to gain control.
 
Two days before the court case, I decided in the best interests of me daughters.. I would walk away.... and I did.
 
It took me many devestating years trying to come to terms with it and I guess I never did, the desperate loss nearly killed me. I figured I'd wait until they're ready to come find me.
 
I did wait, 15 years later I got a facebook friend request form the eldest, and a few months later another one from my youngest.
 
That was 7 years ago, I've been unable to progress the relationships beyond a facebook chat box, they are not interested really. Just asking for money all of the time and being totally unwilling to get to know me in person. I have learned during that time, that dozens of presents, cards, letters I've sent were withheld from them. I've learned that their mother has gone out of her way to demonise me throughout their childhood years.
 
Two years ago I decided to start a new family, this took a lot of courage. The two facebook (generation Z) children I lost we're disgusted with me for this and refused to have a good word to say about it, actually being very hostile and unreasonable. (just like their mother)
 
With intense pain I've had to say goodbye to them again. Not by blocking them from my facebook account but by removing myself from contact. IE deleting my account.
 
The moral of the story...  be very careful who you have kids with. Get it wrong and you're in for some severe pain. As for those kids, what a cruel thing she did to them.

BTW you might think why?  I did absolutely nothing wrong. The new partner was the controlling probelm. It all ballooned out from threre.
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#2
That's why you got to keep fighting and not let them win ever. all the above is happening to me and I know if I don't fight on I will probably hurt more. glad u met someone new and hopefully u will be happy as can be
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#3
I'm really sorry you had this - it's very common. And back then it was harder than now I reckon to get anyone to fight your corner. Parental Alienation at its worst. It sounds like your grown up kids are still under their Mother's influence. At some point you might want to just send them a brief message saying you are always there and would like to see them. Just so they know you aren't the bad person they were told you were.

Parental Alienation is getting more recognition now. It's still hard to find a Solicitor who a) believes in it and b) isn't batting for the other side. But there are plenty of books and resources and people are more empowered to fight their corner now and keep going for defined orders. Especially since the childrens Act was amended in 2014. Which isn't any help to you now, but just enjoy your new family and don't worry about anything.

You are right about being careful who you have children with though. I've never lived with my ex - dated for a few weeks then got dumped, then later told she was pregnant, so I was a single Dad from the start. Still got all the same issues. Going to court at the moment for the second time to get it sorted.
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