12-27-2017, 04:58 PM
Hi all,
So today my wife and I had a chat about us and how we felt about each other and we agreed that our marriage was not making us happy. We have two small kids (girls, 5 and 2) who she had arranged to be out of the house when we had the chat thankfully. We have both been unhappy for a long time now on and off but I suppose I never thought it would come to this. Now that we have agreed to split all I can remember are the good times and they make me cry on a hair trigger. She mentioned that she had come to a decision a couple of weeks ago so fair play to her for holding on to it and not spoiling xmas for the kids.
Anyway within 3-4 hours of the chat I moved out to my mums who loves 5 mins away as we agreed that was the best thing to do. The chat was very amicable and in fact the best we have got on for months. My number one priority is making sure the kids aren't affected by any of this and therefore I am committed to maintaining a good relationship with my wife first and foremost. I realise that this is a lofty ambition but I am clinging to the hope that in the future we will be one of those cool divorced couples who are good friends and can spend time together occasionally with the kids without feeling the need to commit bloody murder.
Am I naive? Possibly but I feel its important to make a supreme effort to be friends for everyone's sake. Luckily there is no specific incident that has caused this breakup (that I know of) so I cross my fingers and pray that it goes as planned.
We have already arranged days where I will look after the kids during January and she is keen that I spend time with them every other weekend plus occasional weekdays. I think that has helped me transition quickly from the status quo to the new situation as I have something to look forward to and if I'm honest I will probably appreciate the time with the girls that much more knowing that its limited.
Anyway I'm blah blahing and I realise that I haven't actually asked a question. I think I just needed to get my thoughts out in words to help me accept the situation.
Thanks for listening!
So today my wife and I had a chat about us and how we felt about each other and we agreed that our marriage was not making us happy. We have two small kids (girls, 5 and 2) who she had arranged to be out of the house when we had the chat thankfully. We have both been unhappy for a long time now on and off but I suppose I never thought it would come to this. Now that we have agreed to split all I can remember are the good times and they make me cry on a hair trigger. She mentioned that she had come to a decision a couple of weeks ago so fair play to her for holding on to it and not spoiling xmas for the kids.
Anyway within 3-4 hours of the chat I moved out to my mums who loves 5 mins away as we agreed that was the best thing to do. The chat was very amicable and in fact the best we have got on for months. My number one priority is making sure the kids aren't affected by any of this and therefore I am committed to maintaining a good relationship with my wife first and foremost. I realise that this is a lofty ambition but I am clinging to the hope that in the future we will be one of those cool divorced couples who are good friends and can spend time together occasionally with the kids without feeling the need to commit bloody murder.
Am I naive? Possibly but I feel its important to make a supreme effort to be friends for everyone's sake. Luckily there is no specific incident that has caused this breakup (that I know of) so I cross my fingers and pray that it goes as planned.
We have already arranged days where I will look after the kids during January and she is keen that I spend time with them every other weekend plus occasional weekdays. I think that has helped me transition quickly from the status quo to the new situation as I have something to look forward to and if I'm honest I will probably appreciate the time with the girls that much more knowing that its limited.
Anyway I'm blah blahing and I realise that I haven't actually asked a question. I think I just needed to get my thoughts out in words to help me accept the situation.
Thanks for listening!