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What access rights do I have with an ex and child abroad?
#1
I really need feedback here.
To give a brief summary of my situation. I live in UK and my wife (of 8 years) was living with me in UK until 1 year ago, when we unofficially separated. She moved back to Italy (where she's from) with our 3-year old daughter, with my agreement at the time (because I would have been working a lot more than my wife - to support us all- and she would have more time to take care of her). I have come back and forth to Italy a few times during the year but it has been an increasingly hostile situation between my wife and I as she blames me for everything that went wrong. She will not accept any responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage. I don't want to sound like I'm blaming her, but I did try to work it out but there is no discussion with her whatsoever. Only this week I have totally given up on the marriage.
I have spent the last week in Italy with my daughter, whom I love completely, and my 'ex' in her apt. I am not allowed to comment or suggest anything about the child as 'everything is all my fault'. It is like hell for me being with my ex now. She has no problem shouting and insulting (which I abhor) me in front of our daughter. That is the main reason that I initially initiated the separation, because of her shouting in front of the child. 
As I have been unofficially supporting her financially for the past year and she is dependent on my support as she cannot get much work in Italy, I now know that I need to seek legal advice as soon as possible as I cannot ever stay in her apt again. 

My question to you(who may already have been in a similar situation, or not, for that matter) is what access to my daughter could I expect to get in an official court agreement? Could I expect to be able to bring my daughter to UK without his mother, to spend time with me, and for her to see her cousins? Even though I give her a lot of money every week, she has indicated that she will not let our daughter visit me without her (my ex) being there too.

As I feel that I can no longer stay in her apt., I hate the thought of only being able to spend time with my daughter in an Italian bnb or hotel. Part of me is regretting ever letting her take my daughter out of UK. My bargaining chip is that I am the only one who is earning a decent enough wage, and she needs my financial support.


I would really appreciate your advice/feedback as I feel that I'm going to 'lose' my daughter.
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#2
That does sound like a difficult route having a contact schedule for a child abroad. Not impossible - there are even shared residence orders when people live in different countries. But it does sound like your ex is going to be difficult about allowing you to see your daughter. I know this sounds like an off the wall suggestion, but could you maybe try and sort things out with your ex and go to couples counselling and see if you can patch things up? I know someone who stayed together to be able to be a full time Dad. It sounds like it's intolerable right now, but counselling can help - if she's willing to try.

Otherwise I would get legal advice - Italy is in Europe so I'm sure a court order would be possible but I'm not an expert.
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