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Interview with a reformed parental alienator
My daughter (7) told me yesterday that she thinks mum does't want them No more. And that has happened without me saying anything, was Just walking along Kew Gardens with them. Will have to do something with that as I don't want her to be sad.
Got to say this is just my opinion but having read that she dont seem very reformed to me in the slightest. She says she doesnt regret having the kids all to herself all that time but does regret paying out loads on lawyers. Although she then says she got legal aid.

She also says she almost broke during tough nights alone but they are your kids and they are worth it.

She is just trying to justify her actions but is not really showing any remorse for what she did. "I knew he would survive and he has proved me right, i guess it all worked out in the end".

She hasnt said how wrong she was or how it would or has affected the children. She basically did it because she thought he wanted to take the kids and she wasnt going to let that happen. There is no excuse or justification for it. Children need and deserve both parents and families in their lives.

She says the lawyers told her to do it? Well the family court it just a cash cow for most and legal aid lawyers must just sit there laughing to themselves. But i dont think you can blame the lawyers completely, they usually act in a way that the client wants. She is just passing the blame and making excuses.

Nothing she said really surprises me, i pretty much know why my ex and many others do it, the problem is they dont care, they only care about themselves.
At least she is coming out and saying just how easy it is to get away with it (children easily manipulated) and it highlights how there is a kind of hysteria effect among groups psyching women up to do it. The worst bit for me in that article was near the end when it suggests she only really stopped because she got a job and needed someone to have the kids.

I think basically it's more than being selfish - some women convince themselves the children are theirs and theirs alone, because they gave birth. And men are just breadwinners mainly. It's not a nice attitude and fuelled by womens groups and the law automatically giving women residency (not sure if that is still actually the case legally).

One thing that really annoyed me,when doing research, was a post by an "expert" describing how hard it is for women to let their children go somewhere overnight - like having an arm chopped off. Erm - and that suggests Mothers emotions for a child are more powerful than a Fathers. Which is rubbish. All parents have the most overpowering emotion for their children (well the majority anyway). To say that one parent's emotions and attachment are greater than the other's is outrageous. Most parents would throw themselves in front of a car to save their children - whether they are Mums or Dads.

I just put it down to inbuilt bitchiness and entitlement. Some wear Motherhood as a status symbol. Have to say there are some perfectly reasonable normal ones out there.

But that interview shows it is revenge, bitterness and getting back at someone as much as anything - and how easy it is to do. I think that's why there is so much advice that to avoid alienation you need regular contact and a watertight court order.

My son's Mother has taken the attitude that she is the only parent and as son only "stays" with me,it is on her terms and tries to get him to follow her rules in my house. It didn't used to be like this when I didn't have a court order. It was more equal - but only while I was useful for childcare - but she did keep stopping contact so it ended up in court - where I got a rubbish order saying "Mother will allow reasonable contact". That is just feeding the monster! "Allow" has become her favourite word now and turned her into a megolomaniac.

The solution really is - automatic joint residence for both parents. It should be automatic.
It’s interesting that it is all tied to 1) her mum dying 2) earning more and wanting to go out more. Her mum presumably baby sat a lot. Money is a huge, huge motivator as well it seems.

Got to give give her some credit for being honest but it was all so wholly unnecessary.

Sharing kids is so workable for childcare, some ‘me’ days and kids always with one of their parents. To me that’s a win win situation all round. If you go to mumsnet there are many threads on women who are fed up of doing it all on their own yet they shun the obvious solution. Crazy!

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