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Would/Could you ever get back with your ex?
#1
So as the title says, could you get back with an ex after everything you have been through?

Even though I have met someone else she is just there as it were, just someone to 'fill the void' harsh I know but it is what it is....

I often think and get asked would I ever get back with my ex, sometimes I think to myself yeah I would not just for the little one but because I still have feelings for her even though it has been over a year now since we split. I try to justify it in a way that I think she might have postnatal so might not be acting rationally and isn't herself or that her mother is controlling the situation in the background but yeah I think that after the court ordered SPIP and then meditation I hope that she might see sense in to what she is doing and how she is acting but then I think to myself how can I be such a mug after everything she has done..... the lies in court, the harassment via solicitors, the breach of child arrangement order, challenging the CSA to get more money........ Ok so if she saw sense and realised it was a mistake and really did want to start over again slowly with a view to moving back in the future could I ever trust her not to up and leave whilst I was out clearing the flat out of everything to do with her and the little one again as that would always be in the back of my mind, or if we have an argument the whole situation that we are in right now would all come blurting out like resentment or something.

It's a shitty situation we are all in and some of us are having it way more worse then others but seriously what would you guys do given the choice?
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#2
For me personally I could never entertain the idea of getting back with my ex, I can't see how it would ever work out.

Did I mourn the loss of the relationship? Yeah definitely, we had some good times, but they were outweighed by the bad times. Time does heal old wounds but the danger in that is that when you look back with Rose tinted glasses all of the red flags just look like flags
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#3
If you rationally know that a person isn’t good for you any more, for your own sanity you have to try and accept this even when your heart is yearning for things to be back as they once were.

The love I had for my ex basically died while we were still supposedly in a relationship, but her behaviour since we split has done a good job of destroying any lingering affection or respect I had for her. Now, I don’t hate her, I just feel complete indifference to her.
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#4
jo naï awa laa votch xeyir ez Не (nie) na lla aïlle ne nann né ma hoke phu / hmar te no tla / hla pù shi nò ne ne nej nee no ne ei nei ei non nee no non nanni ara nein ohi nahániri non ʻaole lo nahin nem nei mba tidak no iié ala thay ve oya ahneo no / na bo kâni minime (not at all), non (and repetition of the verb) nē no te ne nee neen не (ne) tsia tidak le kaore ugui (Yгvй) nennin / nenn nei non nei нæй no kheyr / na nie não na nu Нет (niet) no ag ne aiwa na nae nie ne ne aï no siyo / hapana nej hindi (po) aita illaï yuk kadhu ไม่ (maï) / ไม่ใช่ (maï chaï) hayir oevoel (with nouns) / ug (with verbs) Ні (ni) نهين (nahin) neni nage déedéet nein rara cha

Thats not spam... that's 'No' in 110 language ... just in case she reads this :-)
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#5
(01-05-2018, 01:49 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: jo naï awa laa votch xeyir ez Не (nie) na lla aïlle ne nann né ma hoke phu / hmar te no tla / hla pù shi nò ne ne nej nee no ne ei nei ei non nee no non nanni ara nein ohi nahániri non ʻaole lo nahin nem nei mba tidak no iié ala thay ve oya ahneo no / na bo kâni minime (not at all), non (and repetition of the verb) nē no te ne nee neen не (ne) tsia tidak le kaore ugui (Yгvй) nennin / nenn nei non nei нæй no kheyr / na nie não na nu Нет (niet) no ag ne aiwa na nae nie ne ne aï no siyo / hapana nej hindi (po) aita illaï yuk kadhu ไม่ (maï) / ไม่ใช่ (maï chaï) hayir oevoel (with nouns) / ug (with verbs) Ні (ni) نهين (nahin) neni nage déedéet nein rara cha

Thats not spam... that's 'No' in 110 language ... just in case she reads this :-)

What he said
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#6
Trust and hurt...
Both in that post...
How could you live with someone who has broken that trust and hurt you...
Why would you go back to that....
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#7
Makes me sick if I ever consider to have that demon back.
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#8
The thought of it makes me shudder. I would never get back with the nasty, vindictive, ungrateful, selfish cow. Im sure i could think of a few more choice words for her too.

The only reason i stayed and put up with her crap was to try and be there for my daughter. She was never happy and nothing was ever right. It was her way or no way and she just wanted me to stand by, pay towards my daughters up keep but have no say in anything. I just bought my time and stuck it out until i got on the birth certificate. I then walked and would never ever go back in a million years. My only silver lining was that i was never married to her.
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#9
Seeing things from a distance allows you to view them with a much greater perspective. And in the case of my ex I don't like what I see.

But time is a healer and I occasionally have bouts of remembering the things she'd say or do, then I'm amazed that I ever put up with them in the first place. And even though I remember them happening, they seem bizarre as they're so far away from the life I live now.

But I'd be careful of falling into the trap of thinking you miss someone just because you can't remember all the misery they put you through. I've fallen into that trap a couple of times, but luckily my ex is sufficiently horrible to snap me out of that pretty quick.

Bless her soul. Blackened as it is.
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#10
Once they do all the above you said, ITS OVER, no going back only hurt u again and make your life a misery. move on life will get easier. life without ex , life seeing children only
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