Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Advice on behalf of my partner
#1
Hi all!

I'm posting this on behalf of my partner as i think he's given up hope.

He split with his ex and mother of his 3 children in 2015. They had a rough relationship with him being arrested for violence (they fought each other!) he had an order in place that meant he couldn't be in the house overnight and this was kept to, as was the 'building better relationships course'. Following on from this they stayed together for another 18-24 months. Some people may think I'm silly for being someone with a history as I have two children but we have lived together for a year now and he is far from the man he was then!

Anyway, when they first split and when we first got together (May 2016) he was seeing them twice in a week then every other weekend overnight and there were no issues. We even had them over Christmas etc etc. He paid towards them through their own arrangement, which has now been done through child maintenance (she thought she would get more) and paid every month without fail. Roughly this time last year she had a drunken argument with her now partner and he threw a chair towards her friend and the police were involved (youngest child upstairs!). She actually rang my partner for help in the middle of the night but then denied all the following days. my partner rang the police to follow up what happened and they couldn't obviously disclose but said if the children were a concern then to ring social services, so he did. This apparently started a case with a social worker visiting his ex and children and her new partner. This is when all contact was stopped. He has tried a few times to arrange something but she always came up with an excuse. She somehow found out where we lived and ended up driving past as we walked to our car- we don't live in a place you just end up driving past!

I'm looking for advice on what we do now? I understand they shouldn't have to go to mediation as there has been DV in the past. But unsure what steps he has to take first?

Hope someone can help!
Thanks
Reply
#2
Ok

They had a fight - sorted out - he did his penalty
He was then seeing kids from May 2016 with no concerns
She got into trouble with her new partner - they had a fight - kids witness
He called social services
Contact stopped

That right?

She cannot stop contact because she is p*ssed with him as he followed advice of police to make sure HIS kids were Ok

May need to go to mediation as the DV against him is historic and the DV with the ex and her new BF is not part of the contact issue - only your partner and his ex and their kids are involved her - nothing to do with you are the ex's new partner (legally.. emotionally you're involved)

Call the mediator company and ask them, if not call CAB for clarity and then get to court if you need to ... she cannot stopp access to the father just because she had a fight with her new boyfriend and doesn't like the father worrying about his kids.
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
Reply
#3
Yes that’s right. Youngest was upstairs though and the elder two were actually with my partner at his house at the time.

He did what he was advised and she’s kicked off as it caused issues for her and her new partner (he’s been in lots of trouble in the past with violence). Unsure how much of the social worker visiting the house is true.

Mediation is the next step for him then. I know I have no role in it other than emotional support.

Thank you
Reply
#4
He will need to apply to court if she has stopped all contact, and to do this, he needs signing off at mediation first. How long is it since he has seen them? It is possible to have the MIAM (mediation, information assessment meeting - which is the first session and on his own) and just ask to be signed off without attempting mediation with the ex. So as to get his court application underway - he can always do mediation later. So I'd say he needs to crack on with filling in a C100 form. The summary is the important bit - it's where you get to state what has happened - what you are asking for, and a brief history of contact. That needs wording carefully (you can put "see attached sheet" and type it on A4 but put name and statement of truth at the bottom and sign and date the extra sheet).

I'm just wondering if he'd have grounds for an emergency application - if he thinks the kids are at risk. Did social services write a report after their visit? Have they spoken to you since? Contact them and ask if the case is still open or closed,and if closed, ask for a copy of the closure form. Meanwhile, download the C100 and start filling it in.

I think you are more than just emotional support - two heads are better than one when it comes to filling in forms and wording things.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  partner moving in advice please helpless dad 18 17,805 01-20-2018, 09:56 AM
Last Post: Charlie7000



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)