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Violent wife with suspected BPD...please help
#21
(08-06-2016, 07:14 PM)nilbo Wrote: So, yesterday I saw her application to the court. It is not a final statement as she claimed she needs more time to do a full response which couldn't be done due to the short notice of the directions hearing on this coming Monday.

In it, basically she has reversed everything I have said but as predicated and most worryingly she has said i have raped her multiple times.

I was really hoping that on Monday i would be able to ask for interim access as i haven't seen my little boy for nearly 6 weeks now. Would the judge not permit interim access as a result of the rape claims?

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Have the dates that she has phoned the Police on you in the past (for no valid or prove reason) with you in court.

Has she ever let you see the child since the dates of the rape claims? If so, make the court aware of this fact.

Has the claim ever been reported to the Police? If not, again tell the court.

Has she had any contact with a Police Officer or Social Worker since the date of the claim, if so informed the court that she had every chance to report this, and its is now being introduced just to support her wish for no contact.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#22
(07-31-2016, 06:01 PM)nilbo Wrote: Update: non molestation order put in place, sons passport was handed over to person who served papers and ex wife is not allowed to leave country. Judge didn't make a ruling on residency or custody but set a date for 8th August.

Will this hearing be the Directions hearing? I am planning to ask for interim access what possible reasons could prevent the judge from ordering this?

Ex wife will say and do anything so i am really worried.

Let us know how this goes please
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#23
Some one please help me...everything is going against me.

Court didn't go well. It was in front of magistrates who had no clue and my barrister was advising them on the protocol. They didn't even have a copy of my statement that I filed. Occupation order was given an undertaking as she agreed to stay at her parents house and not come here.

Non molestation order is continued, I wasn't willing to give undertakings for this, until the 31/08 where there will be a full day hearing.

Interim and leaving with will be looked at on the 31/08. I've only been given 2 hours every Saturday to see my son until the 31/08.

Social worker came to see me today. They had already gone to see Ex last week. When i played her the recordings of my son crying and being terrified when my Ex was going crazy she didn't seem too bothered. When i showed a recording of my ex admitting to my son being in the car when she rammed my mothers car she didn't seem interested. She recordings are full on rage with things being smashed and her screaming like she is possessed. Even after seeing the vile text messages of death threats and racist abuse she said that her recommendation is that my son stay with the mother at her parent house.

she asked if what did i think about it and said i was unhappy as you can clearly hear my son distressed due the actions of his mother, she asked what i wanted i said for him to be put in my care until the ex gets help and she can have supervised contact.

I@m really annoyed and feeling in despair. everyone else that i have played these recordings to were extremely distressed at them especially my barrister who said we have to make sure it is played in court.

Form my research I've seen that the courts most of the time go with what social services have recommended.

Is there any way I can challenge this recommendation?

Please someone reply
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#24
(08-08-2016, 06:37 PM)nilbo Wrote: Some one please help me...everything is going against me.

Court didn't go well. It was in front of magistrates who had no clue and my barrister was advising them on the protocol. They didn't even have a copy of my statement that I filed. Occupation order was given an undertaking as she agreed to stay at her parents house and not come here.

Non molestation order is continued, I wasn't willing to give undertakings for this, until the 31/08 where there will be a full day hearing.

Interim and leaving with will be looked at on the 31/08. I've only been given 2 hours every Saturday to see my son until the 31/08.

Social worker came to see me today. They had already gone to see Ex last week. When i played her the recordings of my son crying and being terrified when my Ex was going crazy she didn't seem too bothered. When i showed a recording of my ex admitting to my son being in the car when she rammed my mothers car she didn't seem interested. She recordings are full on rage with things being smashed and her screaming like she is possessed. Even after seeing the vile text messages of death threats and racist abuse she said that her recommendation is that my son stay with the mother at her parent house.

she asked if what did i think about it and said i was unhappy as you can clearly hear my son distressed due the actions of his mother, she asked what i wanted i said for him to be put in my care until the ex gets help and she can have supervised contact.

I@m really annoyed and feeling in despair. everyone else that i have played these recordings to were extremely distressed at them especially my barrister who said we have to make sure it is played in court.

Form my research I've seen that the courts most of the time go with what social services have recommended.

Is there any way I can challenge this recommendation?

Please someone reply

Question SS at the hearing, about how they came to their decisions. Anything you do not like in a report, ask them where the prove of it happening is.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#25
Hi Mark,

Its not the proof of any allegations. I haven't even see the report. But it is the reaction of the worker and how easily the came to their recommendation of my son remaining in the mothers care. The worker did not seem in the slightest concerned when I played them the recording of my son crying his eyes out in terror when you can clearly hear my ex wife in the background smashing objects and screaming and shouting. She just did not give the slightest concern and it was like she had a mind made up even before objectively listening to my side.

The social worker that visited my brother when my ex wife made allegations against him was instantly shocked when she saw some of the messages from my ex wife and said she clearly needs help.

I just don't understand how it can just be so easily dismissed.
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#26
Hi,

I just thought I'd give an update so people may learn from my situation.

I moved to using a different solicitor as of 09/08. He called me that evening and said all i want you to do is sleep, I will review everything tonight and we can take it from there the next morning.

I went to see him the next morning and below is a summary.

He said my case had been handled so badly by my previous solicitor. He said if it was presented properly at the very fist hearing without notice the judge would have probably awarded me interim residency.

The following day he called again and said he was so worried after watching the videos listening to the voice recording and reviewing the evidence that he escalated straight to the legal department of social services. he said if we had no choice to file all the evidence to the other side that he was extremely concerned about my son's safety in my wife's presence and how she would react. he had no faith in the original social worker and deemed her incompetent.

Social services did absolutely nothing!
The following day we filed all the evidence to the other side. later that evening and in the following hours of the early morning next day i received messages from my friends saying that my wife was asking them to give witness statements and that she said i am trying to take the baby away under false allegations.

The solicitor has been putting pressure on the private psychologists me and my wife used to see. It transpires that in June 2014 one of them wrote a letter to my GP at the time expressing concerns about my wife's mental health. they wont give me the report and neither will the GP. I have asked my present and new GP to track it down but to no avail. It seems as though they are covering their tracks and rather well.

Saturday 13th had my first handover. I took my younger brother with me as I was a nervous wreck. Wife's sister handed my son over. She came back later and said my brother is not allowed to be there. He left immediately. She came back after another 5 minutes and said i am here to take the baby away. I said no and told her to phone the police if she had any issues. She hung around and then her husband appeared out of no where. i called the police. they made her leave eventually but not after she falsely claimed that my brother had intimidated her. I spent 45 minutes out of the 2 hours having to deal with her rather than spending time with my son. I contacted social services and told them what had happened.

Now i am really worried what else they are going to try and they are just simply playing even more dirty now.

My sincere advice, if you have the feeling your solicitor is just taking your case as another case and has no clear strategy or seems as though they dont care, just walk away and find someone who is wiling to fight for you.
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#27
UPDATE: my solicitor received a letter from he other side claiming that my younger brother made a threatening call to ex wife on Saturday. totally bullsh*t!
i'm feeling totally mentally drained by all this
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#28
(08-15-2016, 12:40 PM)nilbo Wrote: Hi,

I just thought I'd give an update so people may learn from my situation.

I moved to using a different solicitor as of  09/08. He called me that evening and said all i want you to do is sleep, I will review everything tonight and we can take it from there the next morning.

I went to see him the next morning and below is a summary.

He said my case had been handled so badly by my previous solicitor. He said if it was presented properly at the very fist hearing without notice the judge would have probably awarded me interim residency.

The following day he called again and said he was so worried after watching the videos listening to the voice recording and reviewing the evidence that he escalated straight to the legal department of social services. he said if we had no choice to file all the evidence to the other side that he was extremely concerned about my son's safety in my wife's presence and how she would react. he had no faith in the original social worker and deemed her incompetent.

Social services did absolutely nothing!
The following day we filed all the evidence to the other side. later that evening and in the following hours of the early morning next day i received messages from my friends saying that my wife was asking them to give witness statements and that she said i am trying to take the baby away under false allegations.

The solicitor has been putting pressure on the private psychologists me and my wife used to see. It transpires that in June 2014 one of them wrote a letter to my GP at the time expressing concerns about my wife's mental health. they wont give me the report and neither will the GP. I have asked my present and new GP to track it down but to no avail. It seems as though they are covering their tracks and rather well.

Saturday 13th had my first handover. I took my younger brother with me as I was a nervous wreck. Wife's sister handed my son over. She came back later and said my brother is not allowed to be there. He left immediately. She came back after another 5 minutes and said i am here to take the baby away. I said no and told her to phone the police if she had any issues. She hung around and then her husband appeared out of no where. i called the police. they made her leave eventually but not after she falsely claimed that my brother had intimidated her. I spent 45 minutes out of the 2 hours having to deal with her rather than spending time with my son. I contacted social services and told them what had happened.

Now i am really worried what else they are going to try and they are just simply playing even more dirty now.

My sincere advice, if you have the feeling your solicitor is just taking your case as another case and has no clear strategy or seems as though they dont care, just walk away and find someone who is wiling to fight for you.

Thanks for the update. This has been very helpful to my own case. Best of luck
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#29
As painful as this is i am glad it has helped yourself. I'll keep updating as things progress.

UPDATE: she was given a police caution today. Back in my post i mentioned social services for where my brother is located, received an anonymous tip off to say his kids are being abused. Well my brother showed the social worker the threat to kill and kidnap messages and threat to report them to social services to the social worker as well as reporting it to 101. It seems as it didn't end there and the police followed it up and today issued her with a caution.

I hate having to do this but i'm left with little choice.
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#30
UPDATE: Hearing on the 31st August was in real jeopardy due to social services wanting more time to do section 7. I still wanted to go to court but was warned that if i did the court will most probably adjourn due to lack of section 7 report and that i would be liable for the other sides costs. so we started to make instructions for the next available court date. This all happened early yesterday and i was distraught.

About 5pm social services sent their interim report to my solicitor. He was not pleased at all and as suspected it was heavily biased with even the social worker appearing to tell ex wife what to say. This left solicitor in no doubt that the section 7 report, when produced in full, would favour the mother.

7pm received called from solicitor who apparently had a brainwave. Go to court on & as planned on the 31st. To leave the change of residency argument alone for that date as courts will not make any decisions without the section 7, but instead use it for continuation of the non molestation order and as fact finding. With the amount of evidence I have the social worker (hopefully) will not be able to dismiss my claims in her report as they would have, fingers crossed, been found as factual by the courts. So effectively social worker won't be able to kop out and ignore what I have been telling her.

Seems like a good strategic decision and more importantly it will keep the process going rather than it being delayed.
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