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Lying Ex. Fact Finding Hearing.
#1
OK so here's my situation.

My ex disappeared with our 1 year old, quit her job, has no fixed abode & no savings.
I coulnd't find her so sent a load of texts asking where she was and asking her to return our child home.
After 2 weeks with no response I had no alternative but to apply to court.
I told the court the same story, she had quit her job, no money, no home. They ordered the child to be returned home to me.
ONLY then does she make an application for a Non Mol citing excessive texts and that I am violent.
The court order a Fact Finding and issue a Non Mol against me because of the texts. What responsible parent wouldn't desperately try to find a missing child?
Now I'm at the point a Scott Schedule has been submitted and because of her allegations of abuse Cafcass have determined I should not see our child until after the Fact Finding. Which is listed for April or May.
My response to the Scott Schedule with evidence discounts almost every allegation. The rest I cannot disprove because they are made up!

I won't have seen our child for 6 months by this point, almost half their life!
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#2
Just read your post ,What a complete mess. Sorry you are going through this. Is it only men that end up getting dicked over . when the foot is on the other foot you still get dicked over.. Something is not right in the judicial system.
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#3
Yep. Cafcass and the Courts have to do what is best for the child and err on the side of caution.
Cafcass ran a S2 Report and I feel gave a fair synopsis of my point of view. Mine was extremely child oriented, whereas hers obviously hammered me. I don't feel Cafcass considered me at all when making recommendations to the Court over contact. My Ex even threw in there that I demanded she abort the child when I initially found out the sex!! Absolutely no proof of this but all used against me.
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#4
Its absolutely nonsense. I have under taken such assessments in my line of work and such he said she said should not be used to make an overall assessment.

What matters should be the child . Cafcass fail to focus on the welfare check list. Is the child happy, does the child have a stability , do the parents pose any risk. Etc. Cafcass in my view produce lopsided accounts of non factual out of order chronological events . So who ever reads it has the assumption a+b=c.

Alway challenge what u do not agree with . It will help towards the process. Left unchallenged will make a view that u accept the report.

Its funny how a simple factual statement you make can get twisted or left out of the report. It happens too many times leaving a disadvantage to mostly the fathers.

I see the corruption at work. I see it in the court room.
Its simply disgusting that such practices exist.
I worked in departments where children have lost their lives. One being high profile ones in the media. What happens behind closed doors is shocking. Files get altered etc.

Good luck with your proceedings.
There are very good dads on this site to help support you through this mess.
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#5
Tell me about it... I even said to the Cafcass Court Adviser "at the end of this what if it's actually been me that's been telling the truth the whole time and because of your recommendation I will have missed 6 months of my child's life. What will Cafcass do?"

The answer: The courts will determine what happens next. Brilliant.
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#6
Sadly they have to err on the side of caution, because there are situations where people are given access and then harm the child. Her lies will come to bite her in the end though.

My ex- came up with all sort of nonsense at the first hearing stage, I ended up with very restricted contact. 7 months later we have a final order for 50/50 care and she got a thorough dressing down from the magistrates.
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#7
Unfortunately the system is slow and helps the accuser get their own way for a long time at the beginning. The problem you have is that its all to easy to make accusations about how you are aggressive, a bully, controlling and they just take it on face value until they can be sure there are no safeguarding issues. They do nothing to the accuser and most of the time dont even correct them about their behaviour regarding child contact or their false allegations. So guess what they do? They continue on with it because there are not any consequences for doing so.

Funny thing is they only seem to do this with the non resident parent (usually a man), and set into the norm that the man is the aggressor and the woman the victim. Allegations against the resident parent dont seem to matter as much but they proclaim this the best interest of the child rubbish.

I never had a finding of fact hearing, well not as of yet as cafcass said it wasnt needed as there is nothing to find out. But Im not even sure why they bother with a finding of fact hearing tbh because its nearly always ones word against another with no evidence. Unless there is evidence then it cant be proved so i just refute it.

What you have to remember is it is their heads on the block and if they order contact and something happens it will be them in the spotlight. None of them want that, so they will always err on the safe side of caution.

What you also have to remember is that if we all went to court and they just sat there and said we can see the problem her, she/he is lying, there is no proof or safeguarding issues so its simple to make a contact order, job done. Then if this was the case most of them would be out of a job. The more hearings you have the more magistrates you need etc etc, family court is just a big easy money making scheme for 99% of people involved in my opinion. But hey maybe im a little unbiased.
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#8
Completely agree. It's brutally unfair. She's made allegations and I've made counter-allegations as part of my Scott Schedule refuting what she is saying. Of course my counter-allegations are not remotely considered. They have no issue whatsoever in not denying my ex contact with the child despite her actually being the one responsible for any wrong-doing.

The worst part is she actually has been violent, albeit when in drink, yet I didn't even bring that up.
All I brought up was my concern for my child who has gone missing from the family home (which I own) and I wanted the child returned as my ex had quit her job, has no savings and no fixed abode. So it was obviously in the best interests for the child to be returned to the home they have known since birth.

I could have brought up her violent tendancies, but I did not, because all I wanted was what was best for our child.

Of course, she has made these allegations, partly because I believe she's tried to pre-empt what she thought I would say - and the fact she gets legal aid if she makes them. It's pathetic and twisted. A flawed system designed to work completely on the woman's side.

I agree there should be repercussions. I know she has lied to Cafcass as there has been a Police disclosure which contradicts a lot of what she has said. Would social get involved because of that?
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#9
Social services only become involved if there are allegations of abuse, violence etc reported to them. I had them involved because the mother claimed i attacked her other kid. They called me and realised straight away that the mother was manipulative and controlling and it was all unfounded. The police also threw the allegation out, although that was mainly because i had a recording of the incident on my phone. They did a report which cafcass have seen but that was it. They said there were no safeguarding issues.

But again social services will nearly always side with the mother and unless she has some serious safeguarding issues then they are unlikely to do anything. They mostly always take the stance the the man must be the aggressor and lying and take what the mother says as face value without evidence. Maybe ive just become too cynical of the system already,
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#10
Quite. I'm currently waiting on the date of the Fact Finding hearing. I will be looking at a minimum 6 months without contact by this point. I brought up the same concerns with Cafcass. They literally didn't care.
If the woman makes these allegations, it's treated with the utmost seriousness.
If the man makes these allegations, it's noted.
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