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Holidays and Passport
#1
Hi All,

A slight oversight on my part but after the last contact court proceedings I failed to notice that there was no provision for me to have access to a passport and that we only need to agree summer holiday dates 8 weeks in advance. I have tried to sort a holiday now and clarify I can have the passport but true to from my ex is being difficult.

If i amend the order:
  • Could I extend the lead time to something like 6 months?
  • Is there a "standard" lead time for exchange of passport? (something like 3 weeks)
  • Ideally, I would like to remove any negotiation and have it fixed at 2 weeks (say the first and second week), is this something the court would likely say yes to given the constant difficulties?
To be clear I have full overnight staying contact, the provision in current order states 2 weeks between week 1 and week 3 of summer holidays by negotiation (ha!). LAst year she let me know 1 week in advance.....

My plan this year is to remove the remaining "pain points" as my ex continues to refuse to negotiate and treat my child as an object.....
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#2
Its not you who needs them, its the kids to enjoy a holiday abroad with you so once you think about it like that - No reason she should withhold them

Normally ask for passports 21-28 days in advance if not being used
If she refuses you go to court to get a injunction... she really cannot stop you having them

As for holidays, write to her now with dates... say she has 1 week to reply with any objection in writing otherwise you will be booking them ... again court would help you if she causes problems

Remember she does not 'let' you take them away ... it is their right to quality time with their dad which includes holidays... she needs to suck it up

Great approach removing the pain points... they work on control and removing the opportunities one by one really does help but takes a while as they always finding news ones :-)
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#3
Thanks, that makes sense.

My concern is that she won't exchange the passport and I won't have enough time to take her to court. I know this is a worry for a lot of dads out there.

It's so frustrating when all I want to do is to enjoy a holiday with my kids!
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#4
You can always do an urgent application to the court
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#5
(01-23-2018, 03:45 PM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: You can always do an urgent application to the court

Would he not be allowed to buy additional passports.
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#6
I have tried an urgent application to court last year (we were going on holiday, had it booked but ex wouldn't confirm). It wasn't abroad but still....

It took them 3 weeks just to acknowledge the application.
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#7
Have you been through this before with the passports then - what as the ordered outcome
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#8
No not abroad, but just getting her to agree any dates last year was a nightmare.

I had it booked for months and she would not confirm. I applied to courts for an emergency hearing with 6 weeks to go. It took the court 3 weeks to even acknowledge the application. I was offered a refund as they wouldn't be able to hear the case in time. Luckily she agreed 1 week before we went away.

I have sent an email as above. Here are the dates, I'll need his passport number 2 months before, I'll need his passport 28 days before.

If you do not reply with any objections within a week I am booking the holiday.

Let's see how this goes....
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#9
Mate, broaden them shoulders

You propose your holiday dates in advance, if you have not heard from her by the 8 week deadline you tell her you take it as a agreement ... it is up to her to object not for you to wait for her to agree.... silence is agreement
She does not need to confirm your plans ... they are your plans... she only agrees to the time (as per the court order) so tell her what that is and she has to respond at the 8 weeks deadline... at the same time she has to hand over passports

Then if she doesn't ... you have enough time to apply to court and i think in the UK ... if she blocks the holiday and you lose money you take her to small claims court for a refund at her expense

She;s playing a game with you and setting the rules... time to step up

What you propose above is correct.

Remember BIFF ... Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm... (last one needs a bit of work from you !)

PS expect objections like ... is their a lock on the gate to the playground... tell her to do one... its your time with the kids
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#10
can you not just buy another passport without her knowing?
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