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Parenting Arrangement
We had a parenting agreement that was drafted by my ex. 
My access was based around her shift patterns , 2-3 nights per week.
I agreed to this ,signed it and asked her to sign it and  return to me.
She's now added in pen that the children's wishes need to be taken into account.

My kids are 16,12 and 9 years old.
The 12 year has asked only to come at weekends now as coming during the week is stressful regarding schoolwork and carrying books.
I think she is being heavily influenced by her mother in this - some of the phrases she uses, seem very grown up.

I realise I can't tell the 16 year old what to do but can I insist that the 12 year old and 9 year old come to me on the agreed dates?
No , as there is no court order in place. If you ever went to court it would be about your availability and not your ex partners. Courts would expect you to mediate before you took ex to court.

16 year old the decision would be up to him / her
12 year old would have a say in what he/she wishes
9 year old the courts would decide as he is under 10 still

It is fairly common in some cases that once your children get older , for example 12 that they may want to change arrangements. maybe you should ask for every other weekend or ask your 12 year old if possible what she would like to do or when she wants to see you without conflict.

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