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Awkward ex! help!
#1
afternoon gents.

for some bizarre reason me and my ex split up whilst she is pregnant. since then she has been really awkward in discussing how things will work when the child is born. shes refusing to give me an answer on whether my name is going to be on the birth certificate or not. she keeps telling me that we will talk about it later on in the pregnancy but i don't want to have to wait until the baby is born for her to tell me no and then have to spend a huge amount of time and money on going down the legal route.

i have done some research online and through citizens advice and have a good understanding of parental responsibility. i really don't want this to be a huge fuss and fight between me and her, i just want to play a big role in my child's life and i want whats best for the baby, which i believe to be equal contact with both parents.

just wondering if anyone has been through something like this or something similar and it would be hugely appreciated if i could get some advice on where i stand?

thanks guys!
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#2
I am in no way qualified to answer this but simply pointing out what you probably already know.

It is imperative that you be put on the baby's birth certificate, yet you cant cause too much fuss as she is pregnant and dont want to stress her out.
Secondly, at this point it would be incredibly in your favour to keep your ex happy, if not, any contact is going to be hard with an infant that needs mum 24/7.

If I were in your position, I would drop the parental responsibility thing for a while and bury yourself in doing everything you can to help and support her. Pre-natal classes/scan visits/pharmacy runs/pram buying, wrap up with a bow that belly cream that helps stretch marks, the works. Hope that she realises how hard youre going to work to be a father and its better to have you in her and your babys life. If she doesnt realise this then a court [one day] will.

And congratulations, for me this only happened once so try to enjoy every moment, such a shame youre doing it as separated parents but if you work hard maybe that will change one day. Youre at the beginning, the decisions you make now will affect the rest of yours and your babys life, so choose wisely.
Keep her sweet and hope she does the right thing.
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#3
Thanks for the reply!

I appreciate your advice but these are things that I have been and still am doing. I’m working extra hours so that I can afford to pay for everything such as prams/clothes/cot etc.. the issue is I’m in the process of leaving the military so I’m currently still away through the week and the extra hours I’m working are in the weekend. She knows how hard I am trying but she’s being very unreasonable and seems to be trying to push me out. I’ve been trying everything I can to prove that I want to play a role in the child’s life.
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#4
(01-24-2018, 02:52 PM)gummsy27 Wrote: Thanks for the reply!

I appreciate your advice but these are things that I have been and still am doing. I’m working extra hours so that I can afford to pay for everything such as prams/clothes/cot etc.. the issue is I’m in the process of leaving the military so I’m currently still away through the week and the extra hours I’m working are in the weekend. She knows how hard I am trying but she’s being very unreasonable and seems to be trying to push me out. I’ve been trying everything I can to prove that I want to play a role in the child’s life.

Fair enough, thats a really awkward situation. Heres hoping someone has some advice about registering the birth.
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#5
There isnt anything you can do until the child is born unfortunately then you need to go down the C100 route for access and to be put forward for Parental Rights
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#6
You say you split up for some bizarre reason. Are you not sure what happened? Was it while you were away? Just wondering if she's seeing someone else and just trying to get rid of you. I wouldn't give up trying to reconcile or be "friends". Offer to go to ante natal classes with her? But if she is set on excluding you. Might be worth getting a dna test after the birth before pursuing getting PR?
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