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Agreements/legally binding/court order
#1
So, in preparing for court I read that applicants/respondents should consider mutual agreement at every step. So question is, in the unlikely event that she agrees to anything, how does this agreement differ in the eyes of the law to a court order?
I guess what Im saying is, should she make an agreement and then go back on it, is the process the same as taking her back to court? Is it as enforceable as a genuine court order?
Anyone reached agreement before it got to final hearing?
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#2
I did - we reached the agreement in mediation, had it formulated into a Court Order and had it rubber stamped at the final hearing.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
(01-25-2018, 01:16 PM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: I did - we reached the agreement in mediation, had it formulated into a Court Order and had it rubber stamped at the final hearing.

Ah, so it is effectively still a court order, just that it has been agreed beforehand? Have you had any problems enforcing/sticking to it?
I dont suppose you could tell us how you managed to agree, and was it anywhere close to what you wanted?

My problem is, not so much she doesnt respect me as a father but more that she places far more importance on herself as the primary carer. Completely inconsequential as far as raising my daughter, but good God does it cause problems when Im trying to co-parent with her.
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#4
Ditto. Have also been given that option and currently having mediation in the run up to the final hearing. But for the reasons you just said there isn't going to be agreement, because I want lives with and she absolutely doesn't want that. There is some consensus on holiday dates, but not much. It depends how strongly you feel about whether a "lives with both parents" order is needed (and whether or not you asked for that in the first place possibly). If everything but that can be agreed then it could be stamped as a consent order.

My concern is - she may go back on what she has agreed at the last minute - but then the hearing would go ahead as planned. So am seeing it as "narrowing the issues" before a final hearing.

Ex's view is - he lives with me - I decide everything - schools,doctors, what's best for him. Complete opposite poles. Have come to the view that it needs someone else to say - you have that,you have that. Then when it's set out and both have to live with it - then you can start dealing with co-parenting. Although ex will still see herself as the most important parent - because she's a Mother. That is the sticking point. If you do agree things at mediation you can take legal advice along the way. I would want various definitions within an order so there are no loopholes - similar to things in a parenting plan - like how communication takes place, (eg day to day and in emergencies). What will happen if one parent is ill. Consent needed from both parents for x y and z. Neither parent will unilaterally change school. Needs to be quite watertight. What adjustments will be allowed for (eg parents and child's birthdays) andhow long (eg one full day).
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#5
It is classed as "The Parents have exercised their Parental Rights" (CAFCASS May still want to check it - they love reading stuff apparently)

I have had some issues with it - but now myself and my ex are now starting to have much more of an ability to talk to each other, its making it a little bit easier.

It was more than I expected to get - CAFCASS had advocated for "No direct contact", but my ex then said that she wanted to go to Mediation - so we did - it was a whole day of negotiating, but we got there in the end. Its not perfect and I can see us returning to get it amended, but at the moment, its working.

I implemented a separate email address for her - I check it when I want, if theres anything urgent that I need to know - she can WhatsApp/Phone me - but other than that - we get along better than we did.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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