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New dad
#21
Well no I am not being cynical. not so long ago in the 70s and 80s this view was openly aired. And I do believe many judges still think that way even if they don't admit it.
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#22
Hiya, I am 21, thing is my time has been limited less and less, I see once week only if my mother is there otherwise I am not allowed to go! Says this is because she is uncomfortable.
I have been playing ball, not rising to her silly demands but I really feel enough is enough, she only wants to meet so she can paint me out to be this bad person she has made me into and make sure the things she wants are got, this is not what i want, I want to just set down some proper arrangements outling that I can let me call me daddy and take pictures of my own child. She will not stop until I am out of the picture and her new partner can been seen as my daughters "daddy". She will not be happy until I am not in the picture anymore, I will be attending this meeting but I am not going to be pushed out by her anymore.
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#23
(02-12-2018, 09:33 AM)Joshcoa Wrote: Hiya, I am 21, thing is my time has been limited less and less, I see once week only if my mother is there otherwise I am not allowed to go! Says this is because she is uncomfortable.
I have been playing ball, not rising to her silly demands but I really feel enough is enough, she only wants to meet so she can paint me out to be this bad person she has made me into and make sure the things she wants are got, this is not what i want, I want to just set down some proper arrangements outling that I can let me call me daddy and take pictures of my own child. She will not stop until I am out of the picture and her new partner can been seen as my daughters "daddy". She will not be happy until I am not in the picture anymore, I will be attending this meeting but I am not going to be pushed out by her anymore.

Fair enough, dont blame you at all, its heart breaking, Im sure once she gets the picture she'll calm down sounds like youre going to court. But try everything you can along the way. Good for you buddy`
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#24
Thank you mate
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#25
Meeting went better than expected, ex said her bit and got feelings out there, I expressed that I just want to see my daughter and about moving on. Seem to have come to some sort of understanding for now. Access weekly, allowed photos and the whole daddy thing resolved aswell. Communication is key and way forward at the moment. Here’s hoping!
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#26
(02-14-2018, 02:57 AM)Joshcoa Wrote: Meeting went better than expected, ex said her bit and got feelings out there, I expressed that I just want to see my daughter and about moving on. Seem to have come to some sort of understanding for now. Access weekly, allowed photos and the whole daddy thing resolved aswell. Communication is key and way forward at the moment. Here’s hoping!

Thats great news buddy, congrats. Im sure it wont be perfect but its moving in the right direction for you. Play the game and as she gets older youll get more time. well done.
Little bit jealous to be honest, I'd give my right nut for my ex to stop playing the games so we can all get on with our lives.
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#27
Hope things start going better for you, I didn’t think there was hope tbh but it’s a start! Keep positive
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#28
(02-09-2018, 11:32 AM)Naive Wrote:
(02-09-2018, 10:19 AM)Joshcoa Wrote: So things have gotten worse, met ex mother and agreed to see her after 1 week break, after next visit I was told i am not allowed to have my daughter to call me daddy and no photos were allowed to be taken!
This is the final straw and have applied for mediation.

Oh wow, that hurt even me reading that.
Tell me you can prove her saying that? just be careful before you go down that route to get proof proof proof. Not allowed to call you daddy is clear and present intent to alienate.

on my cafcass report? my ex said ,, same,, not daddy,, no photos,, and yes that hurts deeply

(02-11-2018, 08:44 AM)DadDolent Wrote: "I refuse to believe any judge in the land believes..."

Naive,I think you will find a lot of judges do believe that it might be best the child never knew the real dad and instead had a good step dad, in one family unit.

They don't admit it , but they just wish the father went away, if there is no bond already.

daddolent, i really really hope you are wrong on this point,mate
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#29
I know what I saw in the court room and so did my barrister. I knew from the first five minutes what the judge was thinking. Me and my barrister looked at each other and we knew.

Read Poel v Poel case or the much criticised but still widely used Payne v Payne case law and you will see what I mean.

Still I hope I am wrong. I know there are lots of good sensible judges out there, for sure. The problem is the level of discretion they are given is incredible.

This is an extract from poel v poel case. Admittedly very old but my view is that not much has changed in 47 years since this case at least for some judges.

"Sachs LJ said: "When a marriage breaks up, then a situation normally arises when the child of that marriage, instead of being in the joint custody of both parents, must of necessity become one who is in the custody of a single parent. Once that position has arisen and the custody is working well, this court should not lightly interfere with such reasonable way of life as is selected by that parent to whom custody has been rightly given. Any such interference may, as Winn LJ has pointed out, produce considerable strains which would be unfair not only to the parent whose way of life is interfered with but also to any new marriage of that parent. In that way it might well in due course reflect on the welfare of the child. "
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