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So i finally got contact, she actually turned up at last
#1
Well the mother finally decided to turn up and i got to see my little princess. She has grown so much and i was a little taken a back by how much shes changed. Im happy and sad at the same time. All this is so wrong and unnecessary, ive missed her so much. 

She came straight to me when the contact worker handed her over with not a sign of being upset. She wasnt at all happy with her new surroundings though and just kept looking around at the toys and wouldnt interact or play with any of them. She was happy as long as i didnt put her down. I took a bag with some things in and she was very interested in finding out what was in there. I had some chocolate buttons which she happily devoured and i gave her a drink. 

It was lucky i took them along with wipes etc because despite the contact centre stating that they would tell mom to provide everything as it was the first session. She no doubt had everything with her but she didnt send it with my daughter. I was told off then and that i was not to give her anything as she has dinner at 2 oclock. But we are at the centre until 2 so she wouldnt be having it then at all. 

My daughter really didnt like being in that quite small room she wanted to roam around and be nosy. So after about 40 minutes she began crying a little, i wasnt sure whether i could walk about with her and leave the room. She still wouldnt be put down or play with any toys. One of the assistants came in and asked if i was coping ok, i said yes and i explained that i thought she just wanted to be held and walked about. But she took her off me and said ill take her back to mom to see if she will calm down, she wasnt screaming or hysterical, just normal crying. 

She brought her back and she was crying before she even came in. She would not stop and the assistant was a bit like she wont settle so we may have to take her back to mom. But then another assistant came in and said give her back to dad and let him try, its no good just taking her back everytime because she will get used to it and know she will go back. I again explained that she just wanted to walk around, she didnt want to be in that room or play with the toys so thats exactly what i did for the next hour. She would still cry a little but she was quite content walking around being nosy at all the other kids. She was just quiet and memorised about where she was. She would point where she wanted to go and grab things, try to push doors open, began waving at people. 

It was then time to hand her back and she cried a little as i handed her over and the assistant took her. I am quite upset by it all now but i think it went ok. I really dont think it is fair to make my daughter go to a strange place but im sure she will no doubt get used to it even though im certain she would be happier if it was in my home. 

One of the assistants let out that she was attending nursery as well which i informed them i know nothing about as ive never been told or involved in any of it even though i should really. She squirmed a little and said please dont make an issue out of it, i thought you knew. I said i dont get told anything and am not in contact with the mother which is why we are in this position now and the court will deal with it so not to worry. 

So hopefully next week will be the same and i will get to see her again, i think im going to struggle through work this week though.
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#2
That is really good news. Glad the second assistant stepped in as "taking her back to Mum" attitude is annoying in my view. Maybe take something with you next time (is that allowed?) that would interest her. Do you have any toys she used to have from before? We used to draw pictures - Dad doing one, child doing one. Helicopters usually but I don't suppose girls are into helicopters! Or spinning coins :-)
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#3
charlie, i no its hard mate been there. the worst part is giving her back to the staff, but belive me, it dose get better, and b4 you no it,, months have past, chin up matey
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#4
Next time go there with some sparkly pen and paper, and may be some play dough or Legos.

They key is to pretend you are a child playing with them. Try to fire up their imagination every time the seem to be getting bored.
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#5
Thanks for the replies. It was really quite annoying when the assistant said she would take her back to mom to settle her down. I tried to tell her she was fine and just wanted to go out the room and be nosy, she was not interested in the toys in there. She obviously was not used to the place and was a little anxious being in an unfamiliar place. I would have understood if she was hysterical but she was just crying because she didnt like it in there. She was completely fine for the rest of the time when i just walked around talking to people and letting her be nosy at all the other kids. She was completely settled for the rest of the time until she was taken back when she cried a little when she was taken off of me.

I was also a little upset with the way the same woman took her off me, she couldnt get her away quick enough, didnt even give her chance to say goodbye. My daughter cried a little and looked back at me but before she knew it she was gone. Whether they think this is better for her i dont know.

I did take some stuff with me she was only interested in chocolate buttons, lol. I tried everything else and she wasnt interested in anything apart from walking around and being nosy and seeing the other kids. She only started to be more settled and at ease a little towards the end. Shes only 1 so i will have to think about what to take next time.
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#6
Ah she's only 1. They can cry at the slightest thing - hunger, tiredness. Food seems to be the main interest, although at 1 son really liked some building cups and spent ages with them. And a little rocking horse thing. Toys in the centre aren't the same as toys from you, so she'll get familiar with what you bring each week. Also a kind of teddy or cloth doll - something she can want to hold and associate with you when she sees you. Give it a name so it's like a friend.

Rag doll - toddler safe. Although she might want to keep it! But that would be ok because she'd remember you gave it to her.

https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-win...l/p2945082

Stacking cups

https://www.elc.co.uk/shapes-sorters-and...ps&start=1

Also son loved something like this for years - soft fabric book with touch things in and so on. Good for interaction.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Activity-Handma...HD9QKBP81A
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#7
Thanks for the links, i will have a look at some stuff to take. I did take some stuff but she wasnt at all interested to begin with. It was only towards the end that she started to want to interact with things but not too much.

Yeah i was told not to give her anything as mother said she had dinner at 2. I asked was there any reason i couldnt give her dinner at say twenty to 2 but obviously its moms choice! They told me beforehand that mom would provide everything she would need but she may have bought it with her but didnt send anything with her. Luckily i had some chocolate buttons and drink for her which she was quite happy with. Dont think mom would have been too happy if she knew though.

I dont want to just take food and stuff as i dont really know what she likes etc. I was hoping they would ask mom to help with that and provide some stuff and input but obviously even though its only 2 hours they are happy for her to have no food or drink or even spare nappies etc. Im guessing the way they were that they were planning on taking her back to mom if anything like that came up. But i think i will take my own stuff next time.
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#8
Rag doll looks good to me :-)
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#9
My child is of a similar age. It will be 6 months between when I last saw them and the fact finding hearing, at which point I would hope I will get contact. How did they react to you? Did they remember you?
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#10
(01-30-2018, 09:02 AM)jono Wrote: My child is of a similar age. It will be 6 months between when I last saw them and the fact finding hearing, at which point I would hope I will get contact. How did they react to you? Did they remember you?

Hi mate, in all honestly she may have done but i cant be sure. She did come straight to me and put her arms out when i put mine towards her to come to me. She wasnt at all bothered by me, she was quite happy as long as i did not put her down. She really did not like the centre and didnt want to play or interact with toys and that though. I had to walk around with her and let her be nosy and did that for the last hour or more. It was only towards the end that she seemed to be getting used to her surroundings and relaxing a little. She cried but she wasnt crying at me or hysterical she just didnt like where she was. She also cried when the centre worker took her off me to go back to mom so whether its because she knew me or got used to me i dont know. Its hard to tell when they are so young as they cry for numerous reasons. 

I think the fact that she has been going to nursery may have helped a little too as she was used to leaving her mom so wasnt too anxious about that.
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