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Advice for going to court
#1
I'm having to take my ex-partner to court as she has been threatening to change our arrangement numerous times and has told me she will be taking him on holiday over my arranged evenings and weekends and "there is nothing I can do about it". These arrangements have been in place for over two years now. I have been to mediation but she refused to attend so I feel I have no other option to go to court to get our current arrangement in writing to stop the threats etc. She's told me if I go to court then they will probably award me less access and I'll be worse off. I ended the relationship due to her extra marital activities and I feel like this is her way of punishing me. Everything with her is hard work despite numerous requests from myself for her to be reasonable and amicable. The court scene is daunting and I am worried due to the seeds she's planted in my head. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and do they have any advice and suggestions etc as to how the courts view things and any tips to put my side across as best as possible.
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#2
Yes, keep records of all her threats, communications etc, and get a C100 application in ASAP, if you already have your MIAM certificate from mediation. The courts will often seek to restore teh status quo so if you had an arrangement and she is now messing about, you have a good chance of getting that restored. However the longer you leave it, the more things tip in her favour.
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#3
(02-07-2018, 11:10 AM)marwood Wrote: Yes, keep records of all her threats, communications etc, and get a C100 application in ASAP, if you already have your MIAM certificate from mediation.  The courts will often seek to restore teh status quo so if you had an arrangement and she is now messing about, you have a good chance of getting that restored. However the longer you leave it, the more things tip in her favour.

Hi, I've submitted the C100 already and have a court date on the 7th of March, all correspondence is done via email so I have a lovely list of "evidence" to show. She's not actually stopped me from having him on our arranged days its just the constant threats etc cause a lot of tension.
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#4
(02-07-2018, 11:31 AM)nigedaddy Wrote:
(02-07-2018, 11:10 AM)marwood Wrote: Yes, keep records of all her threats, communications etc, and get a C100 application in ASAP, if you already have your MIAM certificate from mediation.  The courts will often seek to restore teh status quo so if you had an arrangement and she is now messing about, you have a good chance of getting that restored. However the longer you leave it, the more things tip in her favour.

Hi, I've submitted the C100 already and have a court date on the 7th of March, all correspondence is done via email so I have a lovely list of "evidence" to show. She's not actually stopped me from having him on our arranged days its just the constant threats etc cause a lot of tension.

Try to relax in the knowledge that all she is doing with making threats etc in writing is digging herself a hole.

The more threatening, hostile etc she is, the more polite, helpful and friendly you should be.  This has 3 benefits:

1. You'll feel better about yourself for having the moral high ground
2. It will drive her NUTS.  She wants to wind you up.  By being nice, she is losing that game
3. It will make you look good in front of the court; you can show them that you're just trying to do the best by your kids and dealing with this bitter, hostile person.

Document everything.  My ex's statement was a 10 page rant about my shortcomings as a human being.  Mine was reasoned, child focussed and FULLY supported by evidence for every claim I made.  End result was the court thought she was bonkers.
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#5
(02-07-2018, 11:43 AM)marwood Wrote:
(02-07-2018, 11:31 AM)nigedaddy Wrote:
(02-07-2018, 11:10 AM)marwood Wrote: Yes, keep records of all her threats, communications etc, and get a C100 application in ASAP, if you already have your MIAM certificate from mediation.  The courts will often seek to restore teh status quo so if you had an arrangement and she is now messing about, you have a good chance of getting that restored. However the longer you leave it, the more things tip in her favour.

Hi, I've submitted the C100 already and have a court date on the 7th of March, all correspondence is done via email so I have a lovely list of "evidence" to show. She's not actually stopped me from having him on our arranged days its just the constant threats etc cause a lot of tension.

Try to relax in the knowledge that all she is doing with making threats etc in writing is digging herself a hole.

The more threatening, hostile etc she is, the more polite, helpful and friendly you should be.  This has 3 benefits:

1. You'll feel better about yourself for having the moral high ground
2. It will drive her NUTS.  She wants to wind you up.  By being nice, she is losing that game
3. It will make you look good in front of the court; you can show them that you're just trying to do the best by your kids and dealing with this bitter, hostile person.

Document everything.  My ex's statement was a 10 page rant about my shortcomings as a human being.  Mine was reasoned, child focussed and FULLY supported by evidence for every claim I made.  End result was the court thought she was bonkers.
That's what I'm trying to do, my opinion is she is punishing me rather than putting our childs rights/needs first and everything I'm requesting is backed up with evidence. The latest gripe I have is my request to have him on my birthday, usually its not been an issue but this year I got the response that the court will decide my birthday access. Court is the 7th of March and my birthday is the next day so its tricky to get anything booked as I don't know if i'll even have him. Worst part is after fighting it out in court with her during the day I then have to go round in the evening to pick him up. I know she'd be daft to pull any stunts but it just wouldn't surprise me. Fingers crossed it'll all work out
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