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Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next?
#71
Hello all - Hope everyone is holding up.

Another quick update. I went to the council on Monday, registered as homeless and they've put me in a B&B. I'm on a scheme called SWEP...It means I can stay here on a day by day basis as long as there's a severe weather warning - So the snow has been literally heaven sent for me!

The guy who runs the place is so kind - He's given me a bag of food cause I've got no money atm I am ashamed to say. It's sad when you see people leave here with nowhere else to go, it's a bit like Divorce hotel here, I've heard other men talking about how they ended up here through similar circumstances.

The nonsense with the ex goes on...I got a letter from her solicitor today with photos of how I apparently left the flat in a terrible state with bin bags and mess everywhere. My solicitor is replying tomorrow because little does my evil ex know, I took a comprehensive video on my phone as I left - even filming myself leaving the key and closing the door. What she has done is literally go into the kids bedroom and made a big mess of it, taken a photo and said that's how I left it - saying how little I care for the kids. My video shows it was left in a completely tidy state - I'm dealing with a complete psycho. There were other photos she's set up too... Thank god I made a 7 min video.

Anyway, shes now going back on the agreed settlement amount on the basis that the flat is now unlivable and I must pay 4k to fix it.

New letter going to her tomorrow probably along with a vide

EDIT : I saw a thread earlier about how some of you guys are using your Nintendo Switches to lose yourselves in. I tell you, if I ever see some money from the flat I'll be getting one with Zelda. It'd be perfect for me right now!
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#72
That is evil! If it's not bad enough having to move out! Just wanted to say - the weather was heaven sent for you definitely. Tough time - pretend you're on a long holiday! I felt kicked out of my house some years back and that's when I'd sold it and it all went through at short notice- but it still feels like being kicked out when you don't have a new place straight away to call home. So that's why I said - pretend you're on holiday. I did that and actually started to feel I was on holiday - but the first couple of nights weren't nice.

Keep your letters brief, to the point, formal, blindingly logical. Apart from anything else, solicitors charge money for longer letters.

Actually I would go to the Police - take the letter and photographs and take your video - and ask for it to be logged as a false accusation.

Then write your letter - maybe

Dear Sirs

"Your information is incorrect and I have evidence that this is a malicious false allegation. I have a video of the flat taken as I left and it was in a clean and tidy condition. I have logged this false allegation with the Police, who have seen my evidence".

You are getting more and more evidence for a child arrangements order and now have proof that she makes malicious false allegations and actually deliberately stages something to make them. You can't use videos as evidence in family courts, but if you show it to the Police and ask for it to be logged and ask for a copy of that, you can use that in family court.
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#73
Your thread Sector painfully details the stark reality of just how unlevel and completely warped the system is against fathers - It’s an absolute disgrace that such malicious accusations and
continous actions go without any real punishment and is almost encouraged with legal assistance.
It’s so little Sector but my thoughts are with you.
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#74
Totally agree, the system needs a total overhaul.
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#75
(01-31-2019, 07:54 PM)Sector78G Wrote: EDIT : I saw a thread earlier about how some of you guys are using your Nintendo Switches to lose yourselves in. I tell you, if I ever see some money from the flat I'll be getting one with Zelda. It'd be perfect for me right now!

Unrelated addendum but... I was playing Zelda before all of this blew up almost 2 years ago (!) and I only picked it up again last night. I was about 35 hours in but after 5minues I decided to create a new save and delete the last one, sort of a mini starting again. Good luck getting the switch and getting zelda!
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#76
10 year old son just finished Zelda a few months ago - he adored it and has a Zelda jacket :-) Had to steer him away from the shop with the Zelda swords and shields (real swords!) which cost a fortune. Took him about a year.
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#77
Sweet Jesus this is awful, and indicative of a twisted system. Can we get an update on how you're holding up Sector?
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#78
Hi Sector - I have been reading this thread with great interest and horror at the way our system works or should that be doesn't work. The trust that is broken and the betrayal by someone, that I guess you loved at some point, must be hard to bear at times. That someone would use children to hurt is beyond my comprehension. I and I'm sure others would love to know how you are getting on. I hope things are improving for you and you have managed to have some contact with your children and have found somewhere to live. Stay strong and know that there are a lot of people now rooting for you and care what happens. x
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#79
Yes how are you?
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#80
Hey Dad's. Hope you're all doing OK.

Just a quick update but not much to report. I'm doing OK - I had to leave the B&B last Monday and now I'm staying nights in a shelter for the time being.

There was some correspondence between solicitors regarding the children but just as when we were living together, the ex's tactic is to now dismiss anything I have to say as 'Historic'. It's her get out of jail free card that she's always played. Complain about every little thing I've said or done going years back and then brush off any response I make as irrelevant as it is in the past.

Confidence, motivation and trust are things I'm going to have to work on because they've taken a hit. I feel guilty at the shelter - Technically I still have a mortgage until she sorts out the transfer and hopefully some money coming in eventually. There are people I've met recently that handle worse situations much more positively than I ever could.
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