Arrangement Order and Leave to Remove Clash

[Patrick_E]

Hi folks,

Wife left me with the kids a year now, she has taken a court date for Arrangement Order wanting overnight stay on the weekends.

On the other hand after a year of this I can no longer cope and want to apply for a Leave to Remove to take the kids abroad so we can live with my parents.

She refuses to discuss things, turns down all requests. Isn't interested in taking the kids and looking after them (for more than the overnight she's suggesting).

I have instructed my solicitors who will represent me in this 1st hearing.

Question is, what is going to happen? she wants one thing but I want something totally different? will we be only discussing the Arrangement Order since this is why she took the court date? or will my solicitors say "hang on, this guy has been trying to reach his ex for ages to tell her this situation is unsustainable and wants to leave the country"?

In other words is the hearing an open one for all issues or will it be specifically for the Arrangement Order?

Just a bit of background I actually don't mind her having overnight stay, but my problems have been much, much bigger and need the overall picture sorting.

Thanks in advance.

[Charlie7000]

Unless she is considered to be of harm to the children, by a court, she is entitled to spend time with them - and have a reasonable amount of time. And unless she has been found to be a risk and only allowed supervised contact, she will be allowed to have them staying with her and overnight. If you're wanting to move abroad, this could be managed, for example, as the children living with you but spending more holiday periods with her, rather than week-ends eg.

You need to be careful that you are not seen to be "abducting" and witholding contact. So anything you can agree via mediation or solicitors will show you are being reasonable (however unreasonable she is!)

Legally the children have a right to spend time with both parents, so you can't completely remove her from their lives - unless a court decides she should not have any contact at all (which is rare).

If she won't speak or discuss things though (and presumably refused mediation?) - then it probably will have to get sorted out in court, but your solicitor could try and start negotiations. Were you not invited to mediation when she put her application into court? How long is it since she has seen the children? Did she show any interest in seeing them after she left or just abandoned them for a long time? All these things will count towards what kind of time she gets.

What has she asked for in her application? First hearing will be to see if there are any safeguarding issues, with Cafcass being involved. Before that you will get a phone call from Cafcass. Be careful not to "slag off" the ex in this phone call or it will be seen as you being aggressive.