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Just Instructed Solicitor - Advice Please
#1
Separated from ex partner 7 months back. Had 1 visit with my 2 children in that whole period as ex demanded £1000 a month in maintenance (yes you read that correctly).when I refused to agree to the extortion she cut off contact and said if I don't pay I won't see the children I have these messages saved. When we split, 1st thing I did was do csa calculator to make sure I was paying legal amount and she couldn't try any shenanigans.

I tried on 4 separate occasions to arrange visitation and she said it's her way or not at all, I can see them for 1 evening a month or not at all. I said that's totally unreasonable so she said she is cutting off contact and I need to take her to court. She is chronically unwell and has been signed off work long term because of her illness. I am considering filing for shared residency.

I guess what I'm asking is if it's worth bothering, or Cafcass are going to side with the mother even though she is incapable of meeting the childrens needs. She has to have relatives assisting her with the day to welfare of the children as she can't manage. Or should I just try and get weekend visitation? I've been reading worrying stories regarding Cafcass and the games they play.
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#2
Others' experiences vary, but as a father applying for 50/50 care I found CAFCASS to be excellent and not at all biased towards either parent. The officer did a great job, and fully supported my position vs the mothers.

I was lucky and got a good one. I ended up with 50/50 care which is working well. They're like all organisations, some good and some bad staff.

Court is always a bit of a lottery, but like all lotteries, if you don't play, you can't win. Smile
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#3
(02-20-2018, 09:58 AM)RD84 Wrote: Separated from ex partner 7 months back. Had 1 visit with my 2 children in that whole period as ex demanded £1000 a month in maintenance (yes you read that correctly).when I refused to agree to the extortion she cut off contact and said if I don't pay I won't see the children I have these messages saved. When we split, 1st thing I did was do csa calculator to make sure I was paying legal amount and she couldn't try any shenanigans.

I tried on 4 separate occasions to arrange visitation and she said it's her way or not at all, I can see them for 1 evening a month or not at all. I said that's totally unreasonable so she said she is cutting off contact and I need to take her to court. She is chronically unwell and has been signed off work long term because of her illness. I am considering filing for shared residency.

I guess what I'm asking is if it's worth bothering, or Cafcass are going to side with the mother even though she is incapable of meeting the childrens needs. She has to have relatives assisting her with the day to welfare of the children as she can't manage. Or should I just try and get weekend visitation? I've been reading worrying stories regarding Cafcass and the games they play.

WOAH... stop a minute... get to mediation and court and don't even think about giving up
What have you done wrong? 
Had kids with a woman who you dont love any more.. what has that got to do with the kids right to have a dad fully involved in their lives?

Keep the access blocking emails and text ... you need to keep a diary... she is being unreasonable and a court will give you every other weekend and 1-2 nights in the week plus up to half holidays .... if you work shift ... you can work it round that ... law is totally on your side. You will get shared residency if you can physically do it.

SO YES... worth doing FOR YOUR KIDS!
Cafcass can't side with anyone ... you hear stories good and bad... but unless you're a convicted murderer .... they are representing the kids... your ex will need to show she can cope (as will you)... they shoudl not be listening to the mud slinging... if she tries that ... easy to defend against using "finding of facts" at court

As for money... pay what CSA say... anything else is voluntary ... and only pay supplier (shop or school) NEVER direct to mother
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#4
Don’t delay
Book that mediation today!!
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#5
I've already had the MIAM meeting, ex agreed to participate and consider visitation schedule, then at last minute changes her mind and said she won't participate in mediation and I must take her to court so the mediator signed my c100 form immediately. I've hired a solicitor but have made one Last effort to try and reach a resolution and avoid court.

Seems unlikely to work but solicitor said it helps to demonstrate you being reasonable if you have offered every possible opportunity to reach peaceful compromise prior to commencing court proceedings. I'm just so angry that with all the dad's who have no interest in their kids that it's the ones who actually care who get dragged over the coals and bled dry. I'd much rather be spending this money on my children's future and not legal fees. Anyway, appreciate the words of encouragement.
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#6
But what if those Dads DID have an interest in their kids and got thwarted every step of the way?

Don’t tar every Dad with the same brush. Some Dads are labelled deadbeat NO matter what they do.

You may realise this more in time as it may be applied to you by someone unknowing.
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