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Desperate for advice, refused contact.
#1
Hi.
Going to try and keep this short, but I am really looking to gain some advice from some of you guys on here as I know this is going to be the best place to obtain some information and guidance.

Myself and my ex were together for 10 years until she decided to cheat on me and then kick me out of the house when I found out about said affair….

Since that point I have had regular access to my 2 children aged 6 & 8. Originally it was an arrangement where I would have them every other weekend and also visit them at the family home on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This broke down when one of the girls informed me about her new partner (that she had told them to lie to me about)

After that we ended up going to mediation where the mediator told my ex that she had to restore access to the children because it was unreasonable.
Moving on from this point regular access had been agreed and actioned where I was seeing the girls every other weekend and speaking to them regularly on the telephone. This has now hit another road block because of 2 reasons… my children raised a safeguarding issue with me and I foolishly informed my ex about the issue, this along with the fact she found out I am now in a new relationship subsequently means she has cut off all access to my children and contact to her.

Because she has cut off contact between me and her I missed my youngest daughters 6th birthday last week as she refuses to communicate with me and subsequently she reported me to the police for harassment because I tried calling a couple of times on said birthday to speak to my daughter.
Today I have come home to some papers from her solicitor saying that she is willing to allow me access to my children via a contact centre… I would be willing to do this, just so that I can see the children. However I don’t want this to be the only way I can see them.

I need to restore access to my children and this can now only be done through the courts… I am on a basic income and wouldn’t feel comfortable representing myself when I know she has a solicitor (courtesy of her new partner bank rolling this for her)… and I am therefore unsure as to what to do next.

Any advice?
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#2
Immediately arrange mediation. you could accept supervised contact in the meantime or wait until mediation. hopefully you can arrange something at mediation. if u cant fill in a c100 and get it signed by mediation if she refuses to show and represent yourself . U will get a lot of help on here and useful advise and theres some good websites as well. make sure all calls /texts in future are child related only as she will do you for harrasement

I also wouldnt at this stage assume a new boyfriend would be bankrolling her solicitor. That could easily be a letter that cost no more than 50 quid . with advice from people on here u need to think of what contact u would like if it goes to mediation and how u are going to avoid conflict . i wouldnt advise involving your new partner in any negotiations at this early stage and things may calm down. definitely restart mediation asap though
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#3
I have already spoken to the mediator and they provided me with the C100 form, I have filled out and I will be looking to submit this to the courts on pay day.
i suppose what i am really looking for advice on is solicitors...
what kind of questions do i ask them during a 30 minute free consultation?
Do they offer payment plans?
What have other peoples experiences been with this kind of situation?

(02-27-2018, 07:45 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Immediately arrange mediation. you could accept supervised contact in the meantime or wait until mediation. hopefully you can arrange something at mediation. if u cant fill in a c100 and get it signed by mediation if she refuses to show and represent yourself . U will get a lot of help on here and useful advise and theres some good websites as well. make sure all calls /texts in future are child related only as she will do you for harrasement

I also wouldnt at this stage assume a new boyfriend would be bankrolling her solicitor. That could easily be a letter that cost no more than 50 quid . with advice from people on here u need to think of what contact u would like if it goes to mediation and how u are going to avoid conflict . i wouldnt advise involving your new partner in any negotiations at this early stage and things may calm down. definitely restart mediation asap though

Hi Warwickshire1, 
Thanks so much for responding. 

I offered mediation for a 2nd time but she refused. 
i cant actually have any calls or texts with the ex due to the fact she has reported me to the police for harassment because i tried calling her on my daughters birthday. so i am left with only the courts as an option. 

never been in this situation before so any advice on what to ask the solicitors etc would be very much valued.
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