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vary an order
hey everyone me again,

after everything that happened and all allegations by the mother and her stating I will never have him again at beginning of case, after caffcass report she gave in and came 2 an agreement b4 final court case which was me have him every weekend and half the holidays.

now my question is 6 months down the line I now have a job which I didn't at the time its 7 nights on 7 nights off now iv asked her if we can change the weekend im gonna be missing him and she has said no.

so im gonna go vary the order what r chances judge will agree 2 her obv having him the 7 days I work and me picking him up the wed wen im not working so she has 9 days I have 5 and keep holidays the same.

any advice welcome
I think you'd have a good chance of having it varied so you have the same time (or a bit more) but to work around your work pattern. But maybe try mediation first. You can now get a consent order via an agreement made at mediation, and it could save a lot of money. Of course she may not budge, but a good mediator might point out to her that you would probably get your variation if it went to court, and it would be better to agree things rather than cause more animosity.

To be honest I hate changing week-ends too. It messes up the schedule and pattern etc. But if she won't be reasonable and adjust times so you can still spend time with him if your work has changed, then you may need to ask court for a variation.

Have you tried emailing her about it? A kind of fairly brief formal email. Apart from anything else it would be evidence to show you have tried to resolve this, if it goes to court later. And her response may also be evidence of why you need to go to court.

So at present the order is for every week-end and half the holidays. Every week-end is 4 nights a fortnight? Or is it 6 nights a fortnight? ie do you take him back Sunday night (2 nights) or to school Monday morning (3) nights.

Either way it's enough nights to ask for a "lives with" shared care agreement, and I would think it's reasonable to ask for a changed pattern. Would 2-2-5-5 work? That would be half the time, but you would have him 2 nights one week and 5 the next week (eg Wed Thurs night one week then Wed Thurs and the week-end the next week?).

Or you could have the same time as now (if it's 4 nights a fortnight) but have Thurs night to Monday morning every other week-end. Or even Wed night to Monday morning every other week-end (which would be the 9 and 5 you mention).

If it's something like that you want (the 9 and 5) it is so reasonable I would try and get her to agree it at mediation if possible. You'd need to go for a MIAM anyway and have shown you've tried mediation so it might be worth a shot.

Maybe email her first and say you would like to keep the same number of nights each, but adjust the pattern due to your new work commitments of 7 on and 7 off and propose instead of every weeke-end, you have him Wed night through to Monday morning every other week/week-end.

She may not like it because at present he is only away from her two days at a time during term time. But you could point out (at mediation maybe) that with the new pattern she will get longer periods of time with him and it's a bonus to son because he has less changeovers.
I think Charlie has hit it on the head.

In general where there are big changes - as in your case with a new job - courts agree to variations.

Good luck!

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