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Help Required After Harrasment Claim
#1
Hi All

I really need some help please.  I'll give they key facts to keep it short:

- Split up in January

- Received a text last week from her saying I should no longer text, call, email, or visit her house.  Do not contact again.  

- I tried to contact various times (7-10 times via texts and calls and went to her house once).  No aggresion.  Knocked on door, no answer (although she was in) then I left.

- Police came to my door and arrested me for harrasment.

- 12 hours in cells.

- Released but still under investigation.  Apparently I need to do some new training course thing.  However no caution and no record.

- She has all my stuff etc but I cannot contact her again as it will be viewed as harrasment.  She said she wants me to go the 'legal' route to see the baby.

- I don't have money for solicitors etc.  None.  I'm broke as broke can be and trying to piece my life back together.

- I can't put a proposal to her to see the baby, she's also being cold with my mum who has done absolutely nothing wrong.


Never been in this position before - really need some help gents.
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#2
(03-21-2018, 08:38 PM)Awesome_Dad Wrote: Hi All

I really need some help please.  I'll give they key facts to keep it short:

- Split up in January

- Received a text last week from her saying I should no longer text, call, email, or visit her house.  Do not contact again.  

- I tried to contact various times (7-10 times via texts and calls and went to her house once).  No aggresion.  Knocked on door, no answer (although she was in) then I left.

- Police came to my door and arrested me for harrasment.

- 12 hours in cells.

- Released but still under investigation.  Apparently I need to do some new training course thing.  However no caution and no record.

- She has all my stuff etc but I cannot contact her again as it will be viewed as harrasment.  She said she wants me to go the 'legal' route to see the baby.

- I don't have money for solicitors etc.  None.  I'm broke as broke can be and trying to piece my life back together.

- I can't put a proposal to her to see the baby, she's also being cold with my mum who has done absolutely nothing wrong.


Never been in this position before - really need some help gents.

I feel you man, I am going through a similar situation with my wife at the moment. My wife had an Ex-Parte Non-Molestation Order served on me and I am due to attend Court on Friday. My solicitor advised that I should approach a resolution by Cross Undertakings. 

So the only advice I can give you is to stay clear of any contact with your partner, as like myself you do not want to be seen for harassment, especially if your partner does go the legal route, do not be surprised if like my wife she makes accusations of Domestic Abuse and applies for a Non-Molestation Order on yourself. The best way to combat that is to stay clear and have no contact as difficult as it maybe to do. 
I would then recommend you go to a solicitor and see if you can apply for Legal Aid to get them to undertake your case. Though you may also need some form of evidence from your GP to say that you yourself are a victim to Domestic Abuse. Which can be Emotional, Psychological, Financial, Physical or Sexual. So like myself while you have no contact have a think about your time together and you may be shocked to find you are a victim yourself which would help you qualify for legal aid.

I hope it all works out for you, wishing the best.
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#3
Well it obviously goes without saying that you cant contact her again, delete her number and write it down and leave in the loft or something so theres no drunk texting. I wouldnt make any accusations, the only thing you want now is to see your baby and making claims of DV against her wont help.
Logistically youve got to get back on your feet again. Thats your first port of call, whatever happens you'll need to show the court you are stable and capable to be in childs life. So use this time to let things cool and she can see youre not pressuring her.
It all stinks but its the hoops thats needed.
This site is great so youll get all the help you need, you can represent yourself.
Firstly you'll need mediation before you can go to court, speak to them first, you can get legal aid to pay for this easy if youre on low/no wage. If it doesnt work/she wont turn up then they will sign a c100 application for you to go to court.
Application fee is £315 [I think]
Given the high conflict/Non-M you'll be looking for contact in a contact Centre which I think is about £80 a visit, maybe every two weeks. But try first for visits to your mums house, she might be your best bet at the moment.
It can be done cheaply but will need an exceptional amount of work, again all the resources you need are here.
Fully expect her to claim DV as women get legal aid if they are victims of DV [men dont so dont ask]
I was in a complete state like you at first, but the motivation to raise my daughter was the best thing to ever happen to me. Dont give up, its gonna be long and hard but you can do it.

Oh, and kiss your stuff good bye, fresh start and all that.
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#4
I dont actually think she can get legal aid at this stage. But if you was to be arrested again that would change. when you return to answer bail you will be told there is no further action.

However now you have wrote on here she has asked you to do it legal way, so she may have someone advising her . I would take that advice and seek mediation immediately. Its mean shes got all your stuff but theres nothing you can do about it. I wouldnt under no circumstances text /ring or go round house for any reason. They will realise at this early stage she has your belongings , u just broke up and shes refusing you access to child. if you stay calm and children focused she will not get legal aid and hopefully will agree to mediation and will be able to get your stuff back. It maybe that someone can advise on here a way of getting your belongings back the legal way and when u answer bail maybe u could ask then as well. just remember you knocking on her door to see your children and her version will be completely different and u will be detained and charged as they will say you were told to stay away and was told to do it legal way. highly frustrating but i am sure lots of people on here have been through this process . if she dont attend mediation your form gets signed and straight to court c100 £215. Remain child focused and dont bother slating ex partner. they dont listen to it
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