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New here - My Story
#1
Hi All,

Been lurking for the last week or so just to see what situations people have been going through and its reassuring to see a lot of people going through similar situations (I guess reassuring is the wrong word but you know what I mean).

So the long and short of it, I'll try to keep it in short points.

-Before Christmas my wife took our 4 month old son to her home country for meeting her parents and family on her side (Roughly 2 months away) while on maternity. This was against my wishes as I couldn't go with them and it was going to be my sons first Christmas and New year.

-Upon returning to the UK, 2 days after getting back, we have an argument about the care and welfare of my son while she was away. (e.g. not using a child seat in a moving car and no form of safety, this was just one concern that I raised among other minor issues I had). This lead into her then accusing me of adultery I assume to take the spotlight off of her and to try and twist it.

-The argument ended with her saying that the marriage was over and that she wanted me out of the house. I went to spend the night at my parents house to let her cool off.

-Upon returning to the house the following day, she was gone, No note to say where she was going, a number of suitcases of her and our sons belongings were missing. No answer from any form of communication. (Phone, IM, SMS etc).

-Police were called and a missing persons report was filed. They found her at her sisters address 200 miles away from our home.

-Soon after, A Solicitors letter was sent demanding that I surrender our marriage certificate and other allegations made so she could file for a divorce.

-She has been unwilling to communicate unless it's through her solicitor, I tried to set up a mediation session and attended a MIAM but after the stress that the solicitors letters had put me through I felt like I really couldn't bare to face her. I asked the mediator for the signed C100 form.

-She filed for Child maintenance more or less the day she left and applied for the maximum she could get because she is intentionally keeping my son from me.

So now....I am at the point where I have posted a Child Arrangements order, I have not seen my son for 7 weeks. and before that I only had a brief 2 week period when I went over to her country to ensure their safe return to the UK. Any attempt at communication has been ignored and I just don't know how things really escalated so quickly. All I really know is that I miss my son and it feels like he is being deprived of a father and intentionally being kept away from me for no good reason. 

I am unsure of how the courts are going to handle a situation where she has uprooted and moved 200 miles away. how it is going to affect staying contact..... but I need to get something in place because there is no doubt in my mind that all the time that he has currently had away from me has dramatically affected mine and his relationship. 

I won't waffle for too long, but thanks for listening. It's a tough situation to be in but I am trying to be strong for the sake of my son. The thing that keeps me going is the thought of seeing that cute little face again and being able to hold him in my arms. 

Hopefully everything goes well when I get the court date and we will be able to sort some arrangements out for our sons sake.
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#2
Sorry to hear this has happened - nightmare. What did you ask for in your application? Is there anything in place to prevent abduction - ie her leaving the country? Just wondered if the police had been involved.
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#3
What a horrible situation to be in. What comes to mind is the possibility of her leaving the country with your son.
You can get assistance from reunite international and some good advice on steps to take.

Its good news the police have located your son.
Your get some good support on here bud.

Stay strong.
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#4
(03-27-2018, 05:36 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Sorry to hear this has happened - nightmare.  What did you ask for in your application?  Is there anything in place to prevent abduction - ie her leaving the country?  Just wondered if the police had been involved.

In the application, I have asked that I have contact with my son, at least once a week. Honestly I would prefer staying contact but with the distance involved I don't even know how feasible that is. 

I have contacted the Caveat team (passport office) in Glasgow and waiting for a response from them currently. I am just trying to take steps for her not to get a duplicate passport for him. Luckily I am in possession of his British passport but I don't know if she got another one for him while she was on holiday in her home country.
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#5
Id say the distance is a perfect reason for staying contact, whole weekends even. Remember that you have effectively just split up, what you achieve now will set the "status quo" and every bit of contact you get now will set you up for more in the future.
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#6
(03-28-2018, 08:28 AM)Naive Wrote: Id say the distance is a perfect reason for staying contact, whole weekends even. Remember that you have effectively just split up, what you achieve now will set the "status quo" and every bit of contact you get now will set you up for more in the future.

True, try and get in early and hope for the best. I have a Mckenzie friend helping me with the particulars which has been very helpful. Just waiting for the court date to be issued now.

Fingers crossed
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