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Evening all
#1
Evening chaps,

As some of you know my story already I just wanted some further help.

It’s approaching my wedding anniversary on Wednesday, she seemingly doesn’t care, Infact she phoned me Friday whilst on my way to say a male friend was at the house, and I shouldn’t kick off (this was before 11am & they were apparently going to help take the dog to the vets)

I know she’s been cheating etc, and it’s hurting me more and more that a.) she’s just bringing another man into my kids and step kids life since the split & B.) she seemingly doesn’t care about me.

I’ve tried and failed to start with a relationship (lasted 3 weeks before we agreed I wasn’t ready)

Any help please, I’m going out of my nut here.

Luckily I have my kids with me as I type this. But yet I feel so alone.
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#2
These things always feel worse at bank holiday week-ends and traditional family times. Hang in there, it'll soon be a working week again. Try and distract yourself playing some mindless computer game or something or doing some diy. Or punch a cushion.
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#3
Thank you Charlie.

I’ve booked the full week off to try and deal with my now ended marriage.
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#4
Stay strong, my friend. It will be tough with your anniversary coming up. As Charlie says keep busy and active, get out of the house next week. DO NOT sit and think about things. Try to be around family or friends on Wednesday, or just people who value and respect you like colleagues. Or post on here. If you catch yourself thinking about your ex and what she may be doing, stop and change to thinking about your kids instead. Hang in there.
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#5
Stay strong buddy.

My Mrs announced she wasn't in love with me anymore just weeks after our wedding anniversary (9yrs).

I suspect she's having some sort of affair and we're starting down the divorce route.

I keep catching myself wondering if she is or isn't and how I could prove it but then equally as quickly I stop and tell myself that it's only hurting me by thinking about it. Whether she is or isnt, ain't gonna change what we're about to go through.

Just gotta push it out of the mind and stay strong.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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#6
Been told she keeps having strange men, the words of the oldest child my oldest step son to his dad around all 4 kids.

Completely broken but I am going to battle through it.

Think switching off my phone and going quiet will be my plan for the next few days

So sorry to hear this mate. It’s truly disheartening to hear.
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#7
Stay strong... you are perfect for someone ... gonna take a couple of years ... enjoy the time to invest in yourself... gym, project, new clothes... take up running or buy a bike.
It's tough for the guys going through this when you still have feelings for your ex... for me its the exact opposite... fell out of love with her way before i care to admit (no-one else involved either side) and she knows that and hence the custody case... it was mostly revenge i assume... you don't love me then you can't share the kids type thing (... for those who don't know the back story... that plan failed and judge awarded shared custody and gave her a right telling off for taking it to court)

Anyway when i say exact opposite, i mean exact opposite ... I have moved on relationship wise but she remains stuck... i really need the ex to find a new guy ... she needs a hobby ... she needs something positive in her life
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#8
Tom - stay focussed, keep yourself busy, see friends and make a trip if you can. My Easter was entirely decorating and assembling furniture, actually putting MY stamp on MY bedroom, I own it, not her.... next weekend mates in London, weekend after sorting the garage, weekend after cheap flights to see some mates. Literally fill your days up to avoid feeling lonely and down. Dating is one of those things, for some its straight into it, for others not so.... eventually you'll be ready but good for you for having a go.
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#9
Thanks everyone for the kind words.

Need to sort something out, i feel horrible and sick inside every time my phone goes off or i hear about her.

Still got my kids here with me. She's expecting them back tonight but the kids are already hinting at staying again.

Don't really want to face her as i will just lose the plot and break down.

Been speaking to two ladies over the weekend and one wants to meet up tonight for drinks.

It would of been my anniversary tomorrow so i dont lknow what to do, either take the kids back, and then be lonely for a few days or keep them here and then have to see their mum.

Booked a week away in tenerife with my mate for June so looking forward to that
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#10
Tom...
its clearly a little early to be going out on a date (for you mate) I speak from experience ... it can be a boost to the ego... just what you need but you have to have a clear head
If you go ... have a drink and DO NOT SPEAK about the ex...

Things will get better but they do get worse first so time to get some thick skin
Be nice to the ex.. wish her well.. be nice to her in front of kids... but close that door emotionally ... if she cared she wouldn't treat you the way she is... connection is you had kids together... keep it at that level
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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