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My Ex Partner Has Taken One Of Our Children.
#1
My ex partner left in March 2017 saying she needed space, once she left my eldest daughter made me aware that she had been messaging another man whilst she was in bed with her (telling her to turn around and face the wall Confused ). It turns out she was having an affair, once I made her aware that I knew about the affair she put all her effort in to the relationship with this other guy without a thought for the children, about a month passed and she never seen the children and blocked me from contacting her on all platforms. She put it to me that she wanted to see them three days a week which I agreed to and after a few weeks I felt she could be trusted to have over nights which happened a few times and then she gave her house up in our home town and moved nearly 50 miles away from the family home and where our children go to school because she was pregnant and it was this other guys baby. She has given me the due date  and I think it could be mine as we hadn't stopped sleeping with each other, she has even agreed with me on this and has said she will give me a dna test which I have a recording of.

Fast forward a couple of months and there is a knock on my door at around 1am, it's my ex partner, in tears, asking if she can come in. She came in and threw her arms around me and broke down crying and told me how this new guy had taken the house keys to work so she couldn't leave and come back to her home town to see the children, when he returned with her keys she tried to leave and he tipped a bottle of water over head so she run and got in her car and he came running out and tried to smash the car windows. Since this happened her new partner has taken her car keys so she cant leave to see the see the children and also her bank card so she cannot get money for petrol, I have recordings of most of these conversations I have had with her and I also have text messages saying she is scared and does not know what to do or what he is capable of.

I've been the police and they are not interested in what evidence I have so god knows what she is saying to the police, all they would tell me was that she was saying all this what I was saying wasn't true and she told me it because it is what I wanted to hear and the police were fine with that. She has made false allegations before and on a court order for my eldest it says that the domestic violence allegations are not being proceeded with and the respondent may not raise these allegations again. I have never been arrested for DV, infact my record is completely clear of anything. We had heated arguments and a few nasty things were said by both parties.

A couple of days a go she came to my house to see the children and asked if she could go to her brothers with them, I was a bit worried but let it go ahead for the sake of the children. She dropped my eldest at her Grandads (My Fathers) and never returned my youngest. She has split our children up and my youngest is now staying at this guys house with her. I managed to get a without notice hearing today but they want to hear her side of the story before they make any decisions. The court date is the end of may. She keeps telling our eldest that she is taken our youngest to school tomorrow and doesn't turn up with her. I had a conversation on the phone today with her and pleaded with her to let me see our baby girl and let her know how bad of a state our oldest is in over all this. I asked could I drive up tonight and see her and she said no I can see her tomorrow because her new partner is in work tomorrow and it will be easier Confused Confused To be honest I don't think tomorrows going to happen I think she is just telling me what I want to hear, she will probably ignore me come tomorrow.

Sorry if this makes no sense, my head is all over the place at the minute.
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#2
Ok so you made a without notice application but they want her side of things to be heard. When you made the application was it for an urgent 48 hour one? I don't see why it still shouldn't be an urgent application even if it's ex parte. You might want to get a free half hour's legal advice on that as to whether you can apply for another one as an urgent hearing but not ex parte. The children live with you so I'd have thought it was abduction. If you've got any concerns about the safety of your youngest meanwhile then call social services to go and check on things. If they think things aren't right they can bring her back to you and do it through the courts too.
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#3
(04-27-2018, 01:50 AM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Ok so you made a without notice application but they want her side of things to be heard. When you made the application was it for an urgent 48 hour one?  I don't see why it still shouldn't be an urgent application even if it's ex parte.  You might want to get a free half hour's legal advice on that as to whether you can apply for another one as an urgent hearing but not ex parte.  The children live with you so I'd have thought it was abduction.  If you've got any concerns about the safety of your youngest meanwhile then call social services to go and check on things.  If they think things aren't right they can bring her back to you and do it through the courts too.

I don't know if it was 48 hours? I went to the court and told them my situation and they got me in that day. I've been on to social services and the police and because there is no order in place already they are basically saying there is nothing that they can do. Police done a welfare check and my ex partner is denying everything I have told them, the police are not interested in the evidence I have. I am just waiting until 9am and I am going to call solicitors. Thank you for replying, appreciate it.
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#4
A month sounds like too long to wait. They aren't keen on ex parte hearings without evidence or backup. Although there aren't any court orders in place it must be recorded somewhere that she lives at your address? GP details? School? Having something like that might help.
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#5
Yes it is recorded somewhere she is registered at gp in my town, goes to nursery here and has just been offered a place in september at the same school, my daughter has never left the town she grew up in, I say grew up in but she hasn't grown up at all she is only 3.

I'm at a loss, just been back the court and they seem to think that the time frame is ok and not an issue, no one will look at any of the evidence I have, and I didn't have it to hand yesterday as I rushed there in the hope something would be done.

I'm devastated that this can even happen. I don't know where to go from here, i am literally broke, please help...

Thank you.
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#6
Im so sorry mate, I dont know what to say.

Its sneaky but my only thought is [and you'll need a barrister to pull this off] claim youre about to go on holiday with kids. Nice week in Normandy will do you good.
Its reason for a new without notice hearing in which case you might get the evidence in front of the judge?

What did your solicitor say this morning?

How about speaking to your MP? the media? cause enough stink that people start paying attention. Just a thought.
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#7
(04-27-2018, 03:11 PM)Naive Wrote: Im so sorry mate, I dont know what to say.

Its sneaky but my only thought is [and you'll need a barrister to pull this off] claim youre about to go on holiday with kids. Nice week in Normandy will do you good.
Its reason for a new without notice hearing in which case you might get the evidence in front of the judge?


What did your solicitor say this morning?

How about speaking to your MP? the media? cause enough stink that people start paying attention. Just a thought.

Wouldn't I need to prove I was going on holiday and actually book one? I can't even afford a solicitor, never mind a holiday mate Big Grin

 I don't even have a solicitor.

I'd rather not, I'm deeply embarrassed of this whole situation, I want as little knowing as possible Confused Confused

Thank you for replying.
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#8
Day trip?
I know exactly what you mean but you’ll have to get over that. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. I envy the people who get what they want by throwing the toys out and throwing tantrums.
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#9
Hello

It's a very difficult situation you're in. You've already had a few replies from very experienced people on this site, and as you can see it's not an easy one to advise on.

Your ex partner left in March 2017 and since then you've taken care of your daughters, although you were very fair and agreed to your partner seeing them 3 days a week and then this progressed to overnights on occasions. She then decided to move 50 miles away and therefore reduced her chances of seeing the children on the agreed schedule.

As you say, fast forward a couple of months and she's back crying that he's controlling her by hiding her car keys and bank card. All I can say to that is that if this is behaviour from her new partner in the first year of the relationship then it may well get worse. There's also a new baby on the way, which will no doubt add to the pressure (as any parent of a newborn knows!).

It is horrendous that the Family Court just seems to have no inclination of the damage that's being done while they set the dates for the hearings. It might be an idea to speak to your MP about your situation. He may write to the Minister concerned, and it just might make you feel a bit better that at least you are fighting and doing something. Other than that it's a matter of waiting for the court date. Meanwhile, protect your current situation by informing your older daughter's school of the situation so that they are aware of who she lives with and who will be picking her up from school etc (sorry I don't know how old she is)
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#10
You can get a half hour's free legal advice. I've also used Just Answer before now. You get a Solicitor experienced in the area of law and sometimes a Barrister. You pay about £38 and have a kind of question and answer session. I had good advice both times (and particularly when my own solicitor was at a loss). They will also phone you to discuss it but that costs more.

I would definitely get some legal advice because a month is a long time. You could do with a Solicitor's letter sending to her maybe. When you put your application in ex parte, what did you say/ask for on it? It may just have come across wrong. Was the application for residency (lives with?)
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