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Changing dates without notice
#1
My ex has arranged for my daughter to go to a sleepover on a night that would be my evening / night to look after her

There was no communication prior to her arranging it

She told me 2 days ago, then told my daughter immediately after who is obviously excited but I miss out as I'm working away all week and it not my weekend so could be 8 days before i see her again

I have PR - we have no court order, we have been trying to sort out things amicably between ourselves and have a written contact agreement that the ex-wont agree to unless i give her additional money above and beyond what i already give her (which i'm not going to do)

This situation with my daughter might be a one off but I can also see it becoming a pattern of things being arranged by the mother when its my parenting time

Advice?
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#2
(08-08-2016, 12:38 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: My ex has arranged for my daughter to go to a sleepover on a night that would be my evening / night to look after her

There was no communication prior to her arranging it

She told me 2 days ago, then told my daughter immediately after who is obviously excited but I miss out as I'm working away all week and it not my weekend so could be 8 days before i see her again

I have PR - we have no court order, we have been trying to sort out things amicably between ourselves and have a written contact agreement that the ex-wont agree to unless i give her additional money above and beyond what i already give her (which i'm not going to do)

This situation with my daughter might be a one off but I can also see it becoming a pattern of things being arranged by the mother when its my parenting time

Advice?
Your going to have to go to Mediation, then if deadlock court.  I recall your other threads on here, and the point you need to put to court is she is wanting payment for extra time, when in fact child support should reduce then, and now you can evidence the current arrangements, and inform the court that you need their help, as she is obstructing you from seeing the child, by making arrangements in your allocated time.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Thanks Mark

Do the 'current arrangements' have to be physically signed for it be be official?
Myself and the ex had exchanged a few emails, had a couple of discussions and I collated all the bits and documented it all in one place and sent it to her last month asking if she agreed.

She made some comments, which I accepted and then, out of the blue, added in load of quite unreasonable financial requests i.e. she wants paying a compensation every night when I stay over at the family house with the kids and 6 months notice of any changes, plus private medical insurance etc etc etc !!

But now she is now refusing to agree the contact arrangement, until I agree her finance proposals - we are obviously at deadlock.
I've done my best to do it amicably but she links it all to finances - its horrible and i feel quite stuck.
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#4
(08-09-2016, 12:58 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Thanks Mark

Do the 'current arrangements' have to be physically signed for it be be official?
Myself and the ex had exchanged a few emails, had a couple of discussions and I collated all the bits and documented it all in one place and sent it to her last month asking if she agreed.

She made some comments, which I accepted and then, out of the blue, added in load of quite unreasonable financial requests i.e. she wants paying a compensation every night when I stay over at the family house with the kids and 6 months notice of any changes, plus private medical insurance etc etc etc !!

But now she is now refusing to agree the contact arrangement, until I agree her finance proposals - we are obviously at deadlock.
I've done my best to do it amicably but she links it all to finances - its horrible and i feel quite stuck.

You can evidence the emails, to show the court that she is demanding money for you to have contact.

A signed copy would show what was agreed to, so that would be the starting point, but if you do not have this, then it comes down to you both doing Position Statements. Yours will be along the lines of  you had a verbal agreement, and your ex introduced a cost to it.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#5
Thanks Mark - very much appreciated

I have more than verbal agreement, I have countless emails from here proposing contact arrangements which i agreed .... there were so many emails that i put it all in one letter for clarity - that's when the onerous requests for money came and her refusal to accept what she'd put in writing 2 months ago unless it was linked to money.

To be fair, so far she has before this week not 'stopped' my contact - although this week we have seen the 1st instance of obstructing me from seeing the child, by making arrangements in my allocated time - which has scared me as i can see this becoming a pattern.

She is saying she wont agree to a 'plan' unless i pay compensation (so she can go out or stay in a hotel) when i look after my kids in the family home ... its all very bizarre... she's basically asking my to rent the house back off her for the days i see my kids in a house that i pay 100% of the rent on anyway!

Thanks again Mark
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