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Court outcome
#11
The Magistrates sound a bit out of touch talking about "shared residency" when technically that doesn't exist as a term any more. Shared care does whether 50/50 or less. "Lives with both parents does". Yes it does sound like a sexist outlook and fails to recognise parental bond rather than "Mother comes first" type thing.
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#12
(05-01-2018, 01:30 PM)proud_dad Wrote: Naive, I am sorry to hear about the outcome.

It's shit that it didn't go your way due to a failed family courts system. But 5 in 14 nights is still pretty good - I imagine that translates to week 1: Friday afternoon to Monday morning and week 2: two mid-week overnights. Spread over the two weeks, you will easily balance the ex's shit with the unbiased, unpressured, unconditional love.

May I ask why you can have 50% holiday time from 2020 onwards?

Take care brother.

So its one midweek night every week and every other weekend fri-mon.
Despite the fact ex went on holiday abroad for 5 days last year and daughter was with me, ex claimed 5 days was too much to be away from mum, so the holiday increases incrementally until an equal split of holidays until 2020.
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#13
I know what you mean about the gap between Wednesdays (6 and a half days - not quite 7 :-)). The main thing is you will have an order that is enforceable. And there is nothing to say you can't agree anything you want between you. As long as it's agreed in writing then it's not a breach. At some point what you could do is suggest that daughter might do better with more regular gap lengths between seeing her Mum and you and suggest that instead of Wednesday night each week she could come Thursday nigth after the Monday morning drop off and Monday night the week after. I know your ex has no incentive to change anything but you might be able to put it that daughter is then with her every 3 or 4 nights rather than the short gap between Monday drop off and Wednesday pick up. Think I mentioned before that I have alternate Mondays and Thursdays midweek so there isn't a long gap of six days. I also envy you having overnight on Sunday! I tried for that.
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#14
(05-02-2018, 02:02 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: I know what you mean about the gap between Wednesdays (6 and a half days - not quite 7 :-)).  The main thing is you will have an order that is enforceable.  And there is nothing to say you can't agree anything you want between you.  As long as it's agreed in writing then it's not a breach.  At some point what you could do is suggest that daughter might do better with more regular gap lengths between seeing her Mum and you and suggest that instead of Wednesday night each week she could come Thursday nigth after the Monday morning drop off and Monday night the week after.  I know your ex has no incentive to change anything but you might be able to put it that daughter is then with her every 3 or 4 nights rather than the short gap between Monday drop off and Wednesday pick up.  Think I mentioned before that I have alternate Mondays and Thursdays midweek so there isn't a long gap of six days.  I also envy you having overnight on Sunday!  I tried for that.

Thanks, yeah there is definitely some stuff in there that ex is not happy about, I suppose the point is, the playing field has been leveled in some respects because ex will need to give a little if she wants to change anything. Your suggestion sounds good.
Just been shopping for lunch box stuff for tomorrow, tonights the first night with the new routine and Im feeling far more happy now the reality of the time is sinking in. Got her this weekend too, might not be so happy next week.
I only have fri - sun night for the first two occasions then it goes onto mon mornings after that.
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#15
I think if you've gained that Sunday night that is a good step and will make a difference in the future if you ever have to go back to court again. I also came away feeling it wasn't what I wanted and it had been a compromise outcome. Still only 4 nights a fortnight (when for a few years son had been with me half the time informally). I really wanted that extra night. I did get the lives with but that doesn't make a massive difference except psychologically to me (and ex is ignoring it! and talking as if he "stays" with me still) - but the big thing is the defined enforceable order - that means you get the regular time with your daughter.
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