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How do children cope with 50/50?
#21
(05-05-2018, 03:54 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: It would be nice to think you could both be good about things and keep it informal but it's best to have something formal and legal I think.  If she is happy about you always having time with them regularly then she wouldn't mind agreeing to a consent order, so you both know where you are and the children know what's what too.

Suggest starting a new post asking for Solicitor and/or barrister recommendations in your area.  That's what I did when my current solicitor was doing f all, useless and charging me a lot, and got recommendations on here from Dads who had used them and were happy.  If she agrees a consent order at mediation then no need to go to court.  If she doesn't you can apply after being signed off from mediation.

It's hard to believe when you are seeing the kids regularly that their Mother can just decide to prevent that - and have the power to do so.  Because she lives in their home with them.  There are even cases where the Mother has left and the Dad is at home with the children and they live with him, and the Mother has them one week-end and just doesn't return them - same scenario - if there's no court order.  If there's a court order it can be enforced.  If it has to be enforced 2 or 3 times they may look at transferring residency (not called residency any more, just called "lives with").

The trouble is after separation, both parents ideally want their children full-time - so to me it makes sense to have 50/50 and work together.  But some women move on quite quickly after divorce, want a new life and the Dad out of the picture.  Hopefully yours isn't like that - but if they have this mentality that they only need a Mother for their day to day care and visiting Dad is just - well a visit - then they don't get that you can be and want to be a full on parent.

Hi Charlie,

Thanks a lot for your comments.
The solicitor told me yesterday that courts don't issue consent orders for matter regarding children, unless there is a dispute. This would means that if my wife and myself agree, there is no dispute and thus I wouldn't be able to get a consent order...

Now that I am writing those lines, it feels odd to me, because a "consent order" is probably issued only when there is "consent". So how could there be a consent order issued when there is a dispute?

Anyone has any experience on that?
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#22
I’ve also received similar advice that if there is an agreement outside of the court, no consent order is issued. This makes no sense because the whole point is to make the agreement enforceable by getting it sealed by a court.

If anyone could offer any experience, I’d also appreciate that.
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#23
I applied to court last September with final hearing listed for February and was told by Cafcass and mediator that a consent order could be reached at mediation which could be stamped by the court. So sounds like a discrepancy. Maybe it was only because there already was an application in - but I don't think so. I thought it was a recent thing that an agreement reached at mediation could be put into a consent order with solicitors advising in the background and dealing with submitting it for the court to stamp - as a way of keeping people out of court. Can't remember why I think I know that though!

Here it is. Your Solicitor is out of date I think. Assume that web page is up to date but it isn't dated

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-childre...-you-agree
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#24
Just wanted to add that it isn't coping with 50/50 that is a problem - it's when one parent is trying to alienate the child that any kind of schedule whether 50/50 or less can be difficult for them because they're in the middle.
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