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Parenting Plan - can you help?
Hi All,

A little help from those who feel they can offer it would be gratefully received.

My current situation is a very frustrating, tiresome and depressing stand-off with my ex regarding a specific paragraph in our Parenting Plan. A little background - after 18 months of my having my time with my kids eroded by my ex I thought it was about time I made our verbal agreement a little more solid. During the 18 months that followed, I spent a considerable amount of time and money trying to get my ex to attend mediation in order to discuss matters in a civil manner. In the end the Court had to order my ex to attend mediation - 3 years after avoidance tactics.

Mediation took place and a framework for the the Parenting Plan was agreed. With a lot of back and forth emails between solicitors, the Parenting Plan was polished and presented to the Court at the second and final hearing. The Court lodged the Plan and considered the matter to now be in the hands of the Parents who had created a Plan, agreed a Plan and signed a Plan.

During the 3 years when my time with my kids was being eroded and I was trying to effect a positive change, one of the measures my ex took was to only share the pick-up and drop-off of the children if it was "convenient" for her. It takes a total of  540 miles to complete the weekend drive, every third weekend - and, now that it has been agreed officially - starting Saturday AM until Sunday PM. For myself, this involves a pick-up at 8AM and a return at 6PM. For my ex, it's a drop-off at 10AM and a pick up at 3PM.

Within the mix is an agreed point where I will facilitate all of the 'holiday/half term driving' - I specified this in the Plan so that I can be assured that I only have myself to blame if I miss a flight etc and, to avoid any 'games' being played when the 'E' in ETA needs to mean 'Exact'. The driving on the alternate weekends was agreed to be shared. Holidays - me. Alternate weekends - shared.

The paragraph in question - I'd appreciate your interpretation of the statement. And, if you are feeling a little clever I will also provide a breakdown of the drives so far this year - see if you can tell me who's turn it is to drive on the date where my ex's interpretation of the statement seems to have recently faltered.... in contradiction to this faltering, I do have communications from my ex confirming that there was no confusion as to who's turn it would be to drive on the occasion of 3rd March and there has been no significant misunderstanding of the following statement prior to last week in the last 12 months since leaving the Court...

"It is agreed that Dad will facilitate the collection and return of the children for holiday contact and that Mum and Dad will share the collection and return of the children on alternate weekend visits with, that parent both transporting and collecting to the other parent on that designated weekend."

Dates so far:

27th Jan - regular alternate weekend - Dad drove.
Half Term Feb - Dad drove.
3rd March - regular alternate weekend - Mum drove.
24th March - regular alternate weekend - Dad drove.
Easter Hols - Dad drove.
5th May - regular alternate weekend - Disputed - who's turn is it?

Please be honest. I don't intend to lead you towards what I believe to be the correct answer - don't hold back - it's the statement in the Plan that is prompting my desire for some help.

Thanks in advance  Sad
I think whoever's week-end it is does the driving? Or looking at that, seems like it's her turn if it works on parents alternating driving for regular week-ends.
Thanks Charlie7000.

It has transpired that my ex has been including holiday contact in calculations - if it was, in theory, my ex's turn to drive on holiday contact she considers this to be 'time-off' from driving and misses a turn.

The point that I am trying to get across to my ex is that I facilitate holiday driving and it's therefore not available to be shared.

My poor lad knows that my car is due for a service and I can only get it in when it is her turn - and I know this issue is going to arise again.

I think that asking the court to enforce the arrangements order may be my only option going forward. I run a tight budget and finding £40 for fuel at short notice is not helping matters.

Thanks again..

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