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PLEASE HELP
#1
Hi 

I have a son who is 8 years old. I split with my wife in 2011.

At first things were fine and I saw him all the time. Then my ex-wife became very nasty, started accusing me of all kinds of things from rape to assault and even molesting my son. None of this was ever actioned by the police, no arrests, no court, nothing. She admitted in court that it was only so she could get legal aid. 

She got a residence order saying I could see my son 4 weeks a year. I believe this expired a few years ago but she won't let me see a copy (how do I get a copy???)

Social services are involved as she took 2 overdoses and has custody of her partner's  2 young children who have behavioural issues. Her partner lives with her.

After the split I moved in with family 150  miles a way as I was in a bad place. Since the split I have driven the 300 mile round trip to see my son as much as possible.

My ex is now banning me from seeing him and saying I can't see him for more than the 4 weeks.

I want to go to court to get a contact order, what are my chances? I'd like to see my son as much as possible, I was seeing him for 9 weeks a year at least despite the order because my ex couldn't cope. She's only banning me out of spite.

I also want her to share the travelling with me, she doesn't drive but her partner does.

Any tips?
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#2
You're being shafted, I'm certain you'd get more access unless there are good reasons - at least every other weekend and half holidays.

Got to a solicitor I think, you may need to go through mediation and then either she agrees or you go to court and get an order Smile
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#3
If you can find out which court ordered it they will have a copy. Were you there?
Court orders last until the child is 16-18. Are you sure there is an order?
Regardless, if you can prove how much youve seen your son then the order wont count for shit as she has willingly agreed to contact in the past. Your first step would be to apply for mediation and see if she turns up.
Youd be best to arrange it out of court, considering how far you are from ex. Also there seems to be a lot of drama there and this will ALL be kicked up if it happened since the last order was given.
However, you are very likely to get more time if you can show you can practically do it. You are unlikely to get her to do the travelling, but you could ask for the costs to be factored in child maintenance.
Hopefully the mediator will tell her you are likely to get the time you want in court and she'll deal.
You need to identify exactly what time you want.
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#4
(05-11-2018, 08:57 AM)DAVER85 Wrote: Hi 

I have a son who is 8 years old. I split with my wife in 2011.

At first things were fine and I saw him all the time. Then my ex-wife became very nasty, started accusing me of all kinds of things from rape to assault and even molesting my son. None of this was ever actioned by the police, no arrests, no court, nothing. She admitted in court that it was only so she could get legal aid. 

She got a residence order saying I could see my son 4 weeks a year. I believe this expired a few years ago but she won't let me see a copy (how do I get a copy???)

Social services are involved as she took 2 overdoses and has custody of her partner's  2 young children who have behavioural issues. Her partner lives with her.

After the split I moved in with family 150  miles a way as I was in a bad place. Since the split I have driven the 300 mile round trip to see my son as much as possible.

My ex is now banning me from seeing him and saying I can't see him for more than the 4 weeks.

I want to go to court to get a contact order, what are my chances? I'd like to see my son as much as possible, I was seeing him for 9 weeks a year at least despite the order because my ex couldn't cope. She's only banning me out of spite.

I also want her to share the travelling with me, she doesn't drive but her partner does.

Any tips?

What you need to do, is apply to Vary the existing Order, but also state Child Welfare Concerns.

State on your forms that the Local Authority have not been engaging with you, and while you are only seeking contact at this state, you would like Cafcass put in, to that the current situation can be looked at and their expert recomendations be put to Court.

Transport in law it up to you to sort, but in a CMS case, you can claim a reduciton for "Excessive Travel for Contact Costs".  This works out at about 9p per mile, or the cost of a public transport ticket (with them not paying the first £15)

My suggestion is you ask for 1 daytime contact per school term, and 4 days in school half terms, or turns each if either of you want to take a holiday with the child.
You would get a week at Easter and Christmas, what would have to be turns each on significant dates due to distance (who the child lives with has no bearing on this) and in the summer a 2 week block, and perhaps another contact of 3-7 days, bearing in mind your ex would also have the right to a 2 week block for a holiday.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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