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Starting to weigh me down now, tired, stressed and fed up!
#21
(05-22-2018, 05:16 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Theres nothing the contact centre can do. you just have to go unfortunately without seeing them, but when you get to court you can say she hasn't complied then. Its down to your availability if contact is re arranged what she has done is deliberate knowing you cant do it and offering only a hour is ridiculous as well. least you only got 9 days to go

I know, ive even told them that if they couldnt get mother to agree then leave her too it. If she is going to do as she says she will anyway. It does feel like they think she has every right to do it though based on the fact she has given me notice. Madness. 

I do actually feel a little sorry for them, this isnt their fight and they shouldnt be put in the middle of it. Still the fact mother has put them in the middle gave me the only line of communication i had with her, not that it makes any difference unless i agree to what she wants and says. 

Thanks for the advice anyway, just got to sit and wait now.
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#22
(05-12-2018, 07:43 PM)Charlielovesyou Wrote: So been to contact today and it was fun to say the least. Mother will not communicate with me so is still doing it through the contact centre and now handover book. Surely she will have to realise at some point she is going to have to communicate one way or another soon in order to co-parent successfully and with as little stress as possible. We only have 2 weeks left before the final hearing. Actually im pretty sure that she doesnt think that tbh. This is all starting to be stressful and is draining me every week now, i dont sleep at all well all week and especially the night before contact. Going to the contact centre is stressful and i feel like im always on edge and being monitored and have to ask permission to do anything. Its all beginning to drain me and take its toll now tbh. I usually bat it away and just get on with it but now I leave with headaches and mentally exhausted, its beginning to affect everything.

Anyway went to contact, my daughter arrived all upset and didnt want to come at first but she did after a few minutes and then was fine for the rest of contact. Mother had written in the book that she could not make it to contact on her birthday because she had plans and that she could do 1 hour on wednesday morning. She then decided to write in red underneath: "Conversation with contact centre 11/5/18. Dad said no to wednesday and is being difficult about the saturday!!"

You can only sit and laugh at her tbh otherwise i would go mad. The irony in what she is trying to portray is just unreal. She has stopped contact for months on end, cost me thousands and continues to do so for no reason at all and makes us all trounce 40 minutes every week to a contact centre when we live 5-10 minutes away from each other! Not sure why she puts that in the handover book anyway, its between me and her and supposed to be to give each information about our daughter, as i said before she seems to think it is a book to make her demands and give out her orders in. And im assuming she thinks the court will be looking at it which is why shes put it in there. I somehow doubt they will care too much?

I replied to her saying, "sorry i am not being difficult at all. I can not make Wednesday morning as i am at work and unable to change that, i also said im available anytime sunday or can do a different time on Saturday. I also refuse to reduce contact time with our daughter. If you are unable to come to a suitable time then i will be expecting you to follow the court ordered times and day and if you do not then you will be in breach. Please let me know of any suggestions you have".

This of course didnt go down too well and she reiterated that she could not make it and the only other time she is free is the Wednesday morning for an hour. Gave the centre her sob story and the usual tears. Having had a chat with the staff again when leaving they were trying to get me to sort work out but i can not do that. They then tried to tell me the court order didnt state every week and that mom had given me enough notice for me to accept this. I just said im sorry but i do not accept it and if she is too busy to arrange another time then she will have to turn up at the allotted time as set out by the court and if she doesn't she will be in breach and it will be mentioned in the enforcement hearing that is taking place at the same time. I understand the centre staff are in the middle and they really shouldn't be, there is not much they can do so i told them at the end of the day she will do what she wants so leave her to it, she has a choice turn up or not, if she doesnt she will be in breach simple as that. 

Im pretty sure i have every right to state this, contact is arranged around when im available right? So what does she think is going to happen when she has to make my daughter available for contact more often? Say she is too busy and hasnt got time? This is mostly the reason why we have ended up in court. Im pretty sure she still thinks that it is upto her and if she is too busy then it isnt her fault and cant be helped. She is clearly not thinking about our daughters best interests at all. I understand its her birthday and i am willing to work around that if she can offer an alternative, she cant or wont. She can only offer 1 hour instead on a Wednesday morning which i am not available for as she is busy the rest of the week/time? Sorry but i dont think im being unreasonable at all (maybe im wrong?). She has our daughter full time but because she is too busy i should accept to reduce time whenever she wants to? Surely that would give her a big green light to continue doing it? 

I assume that if i keep pandering to her wishes then the court would look upon me accepting all of this on a regular basis so why am i moaning about it now in court? She will be clearly going into court on the 31st May saying she doesnt want contact and that she will not accept anything, that i am unreasonable. The courts are going to end up making arrangements that im pretty sure neither of us will be happy with and it will cause her no end of grief to fit around her hectic/busy life. I can see no way of getting anything from her at court, she will play the poor, struggling, single mom and bring on the tears. We should be having contact next week so ill have to wait and see what she comes up with then.

Sorry for the long essay but as i say its all starting to take its toll on me now, im tired, stressed and am fed up of it all. I just needed a rant and get it off my chest again but any advice would be helpful. 

dito,, same issues,, same to the t,, chin up bro,
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#23
Weird how when it comes to court contact is based around YOUR availability. Don’t the contact centre know this ?

This pandering to Mothers goes way too far sometimes.
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#24
(05-22-2018, 09:06 PM)Hazy Wrote: Weird how when it comes to court contact is based around YOUR availability.  Don’t the contact centre know this ?

This pandering to Mothers goes way too far sometimes.

Yeah that seems like the only thing in our favour in the whole system but even the people in the contact centre dont know their stuff. I tried to explain this to them but they are under the impression that it is ok because mother has given you enough notice!
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#25
(05-19-2018, 07:24 PM)Charlielovesyou Wrote: So been to contact again today, was all good with my little girl, no problems at all as usual. She had a great time despite being stuck inside whilst it was so nice out.

No reply in the handover book regarding missing next weeks contact session. Although that is normal, the ex wont write anything that might incriminate her later on so just does the usual and ignores it. She thinks if she doesnt write it down then there is no proof of what she is doing. Just the usual written in the book about what i should or shouldnt do and some stuff about our daughters clothes being ruined because there was some pen on them last time.

Anyway contact centre staff again came to me afterwards and said mother will not be coming next week and again tried to make excuses for her saying its ok she has given you 2 weeks notice. Then said she has offered to make up the time on wednesday morning for 1 hour. I politely told them again that i have already explained that i am at work, i am unable to just change and do things as one offs whenever mother feels like it. I was then told that i need to work together to come to an arrangement, I havent refused to negotiate, I have already offered her a different time on the saturday or even on sunday, either that or late afternoon or evening but her only offer is wednesday morning for an hour because she is busy all the other time. That is her only offer and shes sticking to it. Sorry but that is not working together, thats mother deciding when and if contact can happen regardless of whether or not i can make it. This is half the reason we are in this situation and in court in the first place. Basically they want me to give in and accept whatever mother says because she is busy, i either accept what mother offers or there is no contact?

I also tried to explain to the contact centre that it doesnt matter if she has given me 2 weeks notice, i can not make the only time she is willing to offer in exchange so in that case it stays as the order says and if she decides to carry on then she will be in breach again. The order states every saturday for 2 hours, if she can not or is unwilling to arrange time to make that up then thats not my fault and we continue as the order states.

I could be wrong and i am digging my heals in a little but I am not going to accept changes to contact times and a reduction in contact whenever mother wishes to do so, that sets a precedent and lets her think she has all the control and makes the decisions without any consideration to me or our daughters contact with me.  I also dont want the courts thinking im happy to do this whenever she sees fit otherwise i may as well have not bothered with court and continued with the way it was and is.

Sorry but im just getting more and more wound up by this crap now and the contact centre is just making it worse. They even tried to put it on me as the reason why we are still in the centre saying you should have go back to court again by now and moved things on. I will be glad when i can be done with these idiots and hopefully in almost 2 weeks i will be done with them. I cant be dealing with them anymore. Im starting to lose my marbles, its starting to make me ill tbh.
 agree with this, 100% contact centers suck,
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